I've just bought a big parcel box for the sole purpose of not having to talk to the postman any more.

[IncompleteSenten]

And now I feel guilty. Which is stupid I know but it turns out I have a heart after all.
Or a piece of one rattling round in an otherwise ice cold body.

My postie is a bloody judgemental and nosy bugger. He asks so many intrusive questions that I have to bat away but I also realise he's unhappy and maybe doesn't get to talk to people but bloody hell I'm sick of being grilled at my front door.

Where's my husband today, what's he doing? Why's he doing that? He's only just come back why's he going away again? He's in London today? Why has he gone there? Why do you do this? Why do you do that? What's going on with your neighbours house? Supposed to be a col crisis you wouldn't think it with all the parcels everyone's getting, etc. what do I do for a living, why do I do it, is there much money in it? Am I going away, I'm not? Why not? I should, why don't I? What's wrong?

I just reached my breaking point this morning and told him it's because I'm batcrap crazy and haven't left the house in years.

Then said my goodbyes and went on Amazon to buy an extra large parcel box just so I don't have to answer the door to him again.

I can't be the only one who has gone to ridiculous lengths to avoid people 🤣. So what are your stories?

DH and I both avoid the milkman - comes near midnight - for same reason just don't answer the door if we are up. I didn't like him asking when DH was away or if house was empty - it it was an issue we'd cancel the milk that week/day.

I also avoid the male half of couple next door for similar reasons - to avoid answering intrusive question or being monologed at.

Most other people I can be vague and shut down - but some people don't pick up those hints. My IL who usually have excellent people skills spent a weekend moaning about guy on train selling from the cart from journey down - everyone was getting a barrage of seemingly endless intrusive questions when they were just trying to buy a drink - they think he was told to talk more to customers but it clearly upset them.

Nah, I'm with you OP. And I love our Postie.

It sounds like the best solution all round.

Make sure you update your delivery preferences on Amazon, etc, to note to use the box

I love our parcel box, we often get notes left by delivery people saying how much they like it and how much easier it is. When we had a new front door a couple of years ago I selected without a letterbox too.

Occasionally Amazon knocks as if it's a dawn raid but mostly it's chuck in the bin and away they go.

Could it get stolen, or is it too heavy?

Bloody hell this would piss me off too! The question is though,will he actually use the parcel box?

His questions are a serious intrusion and I'd be concerned about his motives.

That said, you shouldn't have answered his questions. I can see that autism would have made this quite hard for you.

Strategies:

-pretend to be on phone when opening door
-tell him you need to get on now and shut the door
-give evasive answers "we'll see"

His behaviour is really bad.

@IncompleteSenten This thread explains many, many of your previous posts I've seen around Mumsnet.

Sorry for vanishing. I had to get a piece of work finished. Thanks for the replies, I've been asked some questions. If I've missed any, sorry.
I hadn't considered he might ask me why I've got the box! Thanks. I will rehearse some answers.
Yes he is the royal mail postie. I love amazon. They have got back into the van before I've got to the door!
What did my husband say when I said about the knife? He laughed at me in a nice way. He teases me about it and often I realise what I've said and I start apologising and he tells me not to be so daft, that he understands and knows I wasn't being rude.

I'm glad that some think I'm perhaps not as rude as I see myself as. Too many as's in there.

Now that's got me interested. I've got to know more please.

I did like the "many, many" bit. I know I live on here. That did make me laugh

Your postie is under instruction to give you the parcel or put it in a safe place.
Leaving it on your doorstep and rushing off - as Amazon - is hugely frowned upon.
Great idea to have the box.

🍿 out for the delivery of the box 🤭

We had to "let go" of our window cleaner for similar reasons. Nice bloke, but by God, he was a nosey talker. He'd be stood on the doorstep for ages when he knocked for us to pay him. Always asking me for advice on everything under the Sun then going into great detail about what he'd done since the last cleaning and what he was going to do. Always quizzing me on what we were doing and why! I started leaving the cash in an envelope taped to the door but he'd still ring the bell constantly until I answered the door. No doubt he was lonely, but he also cleaned houses all over the town, so plenty of people to pester, and I work from home so don't have time for 30-60 minutes talking nonsense with him. In the end, got DH to tell him we were going to do our own in the future - luckily easy to blame the cost of living crisis at the moment!!

@IncompleteSenten I too have an autistic child but simply allowing them to make whatever noise they like when around a vulnerable elderly person is not ok. I totally see where your mum is coming from. My mum is elderly and cannot cope with loud noises. My DD doesn't vocal stim but if she did she would be calmly and kindly redirected. Her having ASD doesn't mean that absolutely nobody else's needs matter. It's a balance

Well one of you needs to explain at least! I really want to know.

I have all parcels diverted to the post office. If I had a chatty postie I’d get a box too.

@phonerings sorry to be cheeky, how can you search for previous threads, please?
I am on the app and it doesn't seem you can search for a particular poster.

My grandad was absolutely fine and was the one wanting to see them. I think he had the right to decide what he could or could not cope with, not my mum. He was never bothered by their noise. He was absolutely capable of telling me if he was. I'm not sure why you've decided he was a frail old man who couldn't cope. That isn't even close to the truth. He was always delighted to see them and got enormous joy from watching them run round the garden.

My mum always hated me seeing any family members without her mainly because she was scared to death we'd compare notes and discover all her lies. Joke was on her though because we all already knew all her lies.

We used to get told what we could and couldnt say right from being children. Including things like if you tell them about x, y, z, social services will come and take you away.

I obviously don't expect you to know any of that or the other crap we had to deal with because obviously you don't know us but equally - you don't know us and so you don't know what my grandad did or didn't want or even if he was in fact a frail old man at the time (he wasn't) but you just decided he was a fragile elderly chap who was being aurally assaulted by my then toddlers and needed my mum to advocate for him because he lacked the ability to be honest with me. (Ha. That man would tell you straight, that's for sure!!)

Why did you assume all that based on so little?

https://www.mumsnet.com/search/advanced#/?username=IncompleteSenten&type=all&topics=&page=1&sort=_search

@phonerings you go into search - advanced search - search by username

Oops cross posted and that was meant for @angeltattoo