Partner "apologised " for me,would you be annoyed ?

[rickysally]

It's our anniversary night away.
I booked a nice restaurant and on the special request asked for a booth or a table with some privacy.
I specifically asked for this as they have form for having people practically sat on other tables knee.
We went for early dinner at 5pm
It was dead
One other couple
She walked us to the table next to the couple (a small two table )
So I said "sorry can we sit over there for some privacy please"
She looked and rolled her eyes and said yes
As we were walking over my partner said to her "sorry about this "

Sorry about what ? The place was dead
I was honestly fuming
Then other people started arriving and rather than spacing people out she sat them all next to each other (so had people on top of us anyway )

Would you be annoyed at partner ?
Why do restaurants do this ?

I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill tbh

I would be annoyed too. I would have done the same as you & requested somewhere more private. I think restaurants do it to make the place look busier? Or maybe it’s easier to serve if people are seated close together. But I agree with you it’s annoying as hell. Your partner was silly to apologise, it’s a perfectly reasonable request!

He was being lily-livered and the restaurant sounds crap.

But let it go and go somewhere else next time. I know what you mean though OP. You don’t want your life partner cringing with apologies to someone who’s behaving a bit rudely - you want them to have your back.

You're not, he was patronising. You did nothing wrong and didn't ask for anything unreasonable. Sometimes staff seat customers in a way that helps them, not the paying guests.

YANBU

I wouldn't have expected to be seated right next to another table in a virtually empty restaurant, even if I hadn't requested it in advance and would have also asked to be seated elsewhere

'Sorry about this'.

What's the twerp on about?!

Sorry my wife made a perfectly reasonable request to sit elsewhere than the table offered!

I think this is a non event, why ruin your night be being annoyed about this?

It’s the same in a car park, there would be loads of spaces and a person will come over and park right next to you.

A woman on here was in her campervan, there was actually nobody else in the field, and a van arrived and parked so close, she couldn’t even open the window fully. There was a whole empty field!

The answer is I don’t know why people do this, but it must be something deep down from generations ago that make it happen.

Regarding the apology, he was just probably trying to smooth things over. He didn’t roll his eyes in agreement or anything, maybe he meant sorry about putting the waitress to trouble.

It was an awkward situation and for some people it's a reflex response to apologise in that kind of scenario. I don't think your partner was undermining you, he just wanted the embarrassment to go away. Just seems very British of him!

He obviously just felt a bit embarrassed.

He read her annoyance and was made to feel you (and him by association) were putting her out.. women say sorry all the time for absolutely no reason whatsoever.. sometimes it just comes out! In fact you said it first at the beginning of your sentence! I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, probably just trying to diffuse her annoyance, does he not like conflict by any chance?

Don't let it spoil your night.

Yes, I'd be furious. I have very little tolerance for gutless shit-eating men who feel compelled to appease everyone apart from the woman they are actually supposed to have some loyalty towards.

Blimey.

Think you might be projecting a bit there.

I would have been exactly the same as you OP. I'm a bit fussy about where we sit in a restaurant. I don't want to sit right next to an open door when it's cold, right next to others when the place is empty or next to a couple with the biggest dog I've ever seen lounging under what would be my chair. Also if the food isn't great or if there is a problem with it then I'll usually say something, especially when they come up to ask if everything is OK. My DH gets soooo embarrassed when I do this - he would rather pay a bill and leave quickly than speak up. I can only imagine your DH was embarrassed too with your request and filled what he felt was an awkward silence with his 'sorry about this' comment. Don't take it to heart. I imagine you are the forthright go getter in the relationship! Hope you have a lovely anniversary!

i guess it depends on a lot of things... how did you speak to the member of staff? how loud did you speak? did it occur to you that the other couple might of heard you and been a little insulted that they were deemed not suitable to sit near?

you booked the restaurant, do you often take charge of situations like this? does your DH apologise often for you?

i think you're making way more out of it than is needed, your DH apologised because he felt uncomfortable with the situation, or maybe he was worried as to 'why' you needed some privacy?

Gosh... theres clearly been some sort of trigger for you here.. are you ok?

Either this is a joke or you need to chat with a professional.

I didn't think it was that extreme 😂 but I have had rather a tough week.

It is a pet hate of mine when men throw their significant other under the bus to gain ego kibbles from strangers, yes. I am married to a man who would never do this, but I have known several such men and find them despicable.

😂😂😂😂🤣😭😭 that really tickled me.

Not surprised, he wouldn’t bloody dare!

Hang on, your version of what you said also started with 'sorry'.

Either it's a just normal and natural polite thing to say e.g. excuse me, I hope you don't mind me asking... or both you and DH really thought a full on apology was needed in the scenario.

Don't see how you were just being phatic, but he was out of order for 'apologising for' you

I'd probably internally mutter FGS under my breath but wouldn't feel compelled to lose it about shit-eating, lily livered wet wipes or whatever PP said 😆.

This made me laugh.

I don’t think this is a big deal - some people just apologise as a default setting. Plus there’s no harm in getting the waitress on side, if she’s seemingly acting annoyed then it may impact your evening. When you have a decent rapport they tend to go the extra mile.

I think restaurants seat parties nearby as it’s easier for them to keep track of

Why do restaurants do this ?

I can only speak for the one I worked in, but each wait staff worked a section of the restaurant and at 5pm we'd probably only have one member of staff on so everyone dining early would go in their section, and then we'd start to fill other sections when more staff started at 6pm / 7pm.

It's a pain in the arse when you're working section 1 and you've got one random table in section 3 assigned to you because every time you go to that table someone else in section 3 asks you for something or gives you the stink eye when you don't clear their table.