Partner "apologised " for me,would you be annoyed ?

[rickysally]

It's our anniversary night away.
I booked a nice restaurant and on the special request asked for a booth or a table with some privacy.
I specifically asked for this as they have form for having people practically sat on other tables knee.
We went for early dinner at 5pm
It was dead
One other couple
She walked us to the table next to the couple (a small two table )
So I said "sorry can we sit over there for some privacy please"
She looked and rolled her eyes and said yes
As we were walking over my partner said to her "sorry about this "

Sorry about what ? The place was dead
I was honestly fuming
Then other people started arriving and rather than spacing people out she sat them all next to each other (so had people on top of us anyway )

Would you be annoyed at partner ?
Why do restaurants do this ?

Yanbu. The server and your dh were BU.
We went for a meal at 9pm with loads of space and a couple with 2 small screeching kids were sat right next to us.

I would be angry too! So patronising and undermining.

As a former waitress, I think the only reason to do this is so there’s less restaurant to clean up at the end of the shift if you’ve kept everyone to one section.

I couldn’t enjoy a meal rammed up against other people either.

Restaurants have peak busy periods and periods where they are slow.

During a slow period, there will be less wait staff on shift - therefore having to close sections of
the restaurant. It’s impractical for waiting staff and the hosts to randomly seat customers in sporadic areas of a half-empty restaurant.

Why would you choose this restaurant?

Yes I think eating at a restaurant is expensive enough that if you don't need to sit right next to someone it's a perfectly reasonable request. I went for a late lunch the other day (3pm, I apologise if that's the wrong time to eat 😂) and there were 4 women sitting at the table next to us. They were having a lovely time but were so loud I had to raise my voice just so the waitress could hear my order! Had it been quieter I'd definitely have asked to move.

Also don't like being so close to people you can hear their private conversations if it can be avoided.

It happens on motorways too. I asked my dad whether I was doing something wrong by returning to the speed limit and ending up on empty stretches of road with bunched up cars ahead and behind me.

Apparently I'm missing an evolutionary herding gene to keep me close to the pack.

Good god! Lol

We would have to enter into his mind.
"thank you for this" would have been far better.
It might have been "sorry for our request", perfectly fair.
or..."sorry for my wife's behaviour" which would be far worse but also less likely.
We were not there

You had already requested a specific position in the restaurant.
That was ignored. It was early & those kinds of tables were free.
Waitress was doing what was easier for her not you & rude to roll eyes.
Your H was lilylivered not to say something.

But then to apologise 'for you' like you are a child needing to learn manners?
No. That's quite disrespectful & would put me right off a person.
At best he is prioritising his lack of embarrasement over your wishes.

Absolute no way e was patronising and undermined you, ,and she has NO PLACE rolling her eyes in front of a customer. For that alone I would be leaving a bad review. Stroppy madam.

What is with people thinking it's weird to have dinner at 5pm?

Most adults are just finishing work at 5pm. In fact for much of my working life I worked 10-6pm, so 5pm was working hours. Small children and perhaps the elderly have a meal at 5pm and then go to bed early. For most adults, 5pm is going for a drink or commuting time. Even in London if I was going to the theatre or a concert I wouldn't expect to eat that early. Booking an anniversary meal for 5pm seems odd. Most special occasion-type restaurants would be empty and unatmospheric at 5pm.

@rickysally As we were walking over my partner said to her "sorry about this "

As a European and I find that English people are always saying “sorry” For everything so your husband is just being… English.

Has he worked in hospitality? In my hotel/restaurant phase I found out what kitchen staff sometimes do when customers piss off the waiters. The apology was probably to avoid that.

I couldn't agree more! Men have a habit of this sort of thing. Usually it's to save face. They're basically saying "I'm the good guy and my partner is a typically highly strung stupid woman". It fucks me off no end.

My husband is a lovely, easy going chap and would probably do the same if faced with this scenario.
However me being the total opposite to my husband, this scenario wouldn't play out the same as if she had rolled her eyes at me I would have told her sorry we're such an inconvenience, we'll leave. And then i'd walk out. But then I'm a petty bitch I'm afraid 🤣

If you want privacy, don't go to a restaurant!

Your partner was just being polite.
Is this really a hill to die on?
I bet he has apologised to you over someone else's comments.
And if your still this worked up did you spoil the evening.?

I often go early doors to avoid a scrum of other customers. I find the service goes down as they are run off their feet (not their fault) and I go out to enjoy myself not be irritated. It's my issue, so I'm proactive and try to go when they'll be quieter.

yep that would annoy me. My husband would never do that. I ask to be moved if they try to sit us right next to the toilets!

YANBU, but as somebody (full disclosure: a man) who doesn't like causing a fuss and has a tendency to apologise even when it's not my fault I understand the impulse. If I had done this to my wife when she had made a perfectly legitimate complaint she would almost certainly point out that I shouldn't have apologised on her behalf, I would have acknowledged my mistake, apologised to her, and we would have got on with our evening without any lingering bad feelings.

FFS he wasn't apologising about his wife's comment, he was apologising about the hassle to move tables!

hahaha!

YANBU.

But YABU for not coming back to the thread you started and at least say thank you to all the people who bothered to reply.

Now that’s rude, don’t you think op?

I wonder if he has the mustn't be seen to be making a fuss setting on.

I agree with you it can be annoying when restaurants do this - older kids were off with DH so I was trying to spend some time with DD2 who wanted to try this place - it was pretty empty but after waiting a while to be seated were shown to a table right in middle of two other couples - all crammed in together visible from street.

Then spent entire time either being talked across or one or other couple - not romantic friends/family butting into our conversation. It was very off putting and never went back.

I've worked as a waitress and there's a compromise in quiet periods of sitting people in roughly same area and cramming people in right next to each other and most places manage it. Though my big bug bear at minute is booking for a large party and then being crammed into too small a table/space anyway.

I'm with you!