Partner "apologised " for me,would you be annoyed ?

[rickysally]

It's our anniversary night away.
I booked a nice restaurant and on the special request asked for a booth or a table with some privacy.
I specifically asked for this as they have form for having people practically sat on other tables knee.
We went for early dinner at 5pm
It was dead
One other couple
She walked us to the table next to the couple (a small two table )
So I said "sorry can we sit over there for some privacy please"
She looked and rolled her eyes and said yes
As we were walking over my partner said to her "sorry about this "

Sorry about what ? The place was dead
I was honestly fuming
Then other people started arriving and rather than spacing people out she sat them all next to each other (so had people on top of us anyway )

Would you be annoyed at partner ?
Why do restaurants do this ?

You did nothing wrong. And, if anyone was rude, it was the eye-rolling “B” of a hostess. Hope you leave a 1-star review and name the person. She needs to have a good a**-chewing.

@achipandachair
I am absolutely sick to death of restaurants starting by trying to get you on the nastiest, smallest, most overcrowded and exposed table when they are empty. They'll move you if you ask - which is showing that they don't actually have 10 reservations about to show up and this is all they have - they are just trying to give you their worst to see if you'll accept it which will make their lives easier. This happens to me and dp a lot as we are always childfree on monday evenings, and you know they don't need that decent booth over there in the window, because if you ask for it they'll give it to you. One of us used to politely ask "actually could we sit somewhere else?" but quite a few times recently we've just lost patience and walked out.
Yes, this really annoys me too, especially if I've taken the trouble to book. Also the restaurants who say you can't sit at a particular table because it's reserved, and yet it's still empty when you leave two hours later.

Rude of server to roll their eyes and DH to apologise. You had requested a private table, it was dead, you should have got one! X

Yep. Your DH sounds a bit of a soft arse.

Yes I would be really irritated

You are making far too much out of it to the risk of running your evening.

First question - Why dinner at 5pm?

Second - Attitude???

Your request was reasonable, and yet I suspect your partner was apologising for some diva-like attitude or rudeness?

So the place was "dead" and "empty", and you had requested a booth?

So what happened when you arrived and explained to the waitress that you had requested a booth for your special occasion?? What happened to the booths available?

Personally I'd advise next year that you do your research, and plan properly and chat to the restaurant to make sure they can accommodate your request.

But partners probably, generally, only apologise when they see their loved ones acting like an a-hole.

😂

I’m a chronic apologiser. It just comes out, to smooth the waters.

I’m a bit shocked by the vitriol toward your husband on this thread tbh. He was reacting to the eye roll, not apologising for you!

I would suggest that in a relationship someone has to be the abrasive one. The one who says no, calls to say they are cancelling. This is typically the man's job and in this case being the baddie was pushed on the OP instead.

You’re being dramatic.

I assume they seat people together as it’s easier to serve when people are sitting closer together. She might not have known you requested a booth, and it inconvenienced her to have to move you so yes saying sorry was polite.

I think you are probably being unreasonable. I'd probably say automatically say sorry (and thank you) myself if we asked to be seated at a different table from the one I was initially seated at. Ok I don't really have anything to be sorry for (especially if I had requested it in advance) but it's just a polite friendly reflex to smooth things over when you are putting someone to some (admittedly very small) trouble. Not a big deal.

She was being unreasonable to roll her eyes though!

I don't think your partner has done anything wrong if this is the whole story.

This.

You did nothing wrong op. Why sit couples right next to each other in an empty restaurant.

Aaarrgh this annoys me too, a few months ago we booked a table in a restaurant we often go to, when we got there we got seated at the table closest to the door, so every time it opened we got a blast of cold air, and for all the time we were there, there were plenty of other empty tables. I did think about asking to be moved but just thought I'll learn from it and make sure next time to request one of the other many empty tables. I get that someone has to sit there but surely a booking should take priority for a better table over a walk in. I'd be fuming if my partner apologised on my behalf, especially as there was nothing to apologise for.

I've had restaurants do this so we are always ready for it now. The last time we went out we immediately asked to move before we even sat down

I think they do it as it's easier to have people seated in the same area

Nothing worse than having to sit right next to another table when the place is almost empty

I’m with you OP. How rude of the employee to roll her eyes at you when you asked to be sat where you had already requested to be sat. I can’t understand why others would be OK with blatant rudeness. Hopefully your husband didn’t witness the eye roll but he absolutely should not apologise for you when you are politely making a request. I would have to talk to him about desisting with this behaviour the next day. The worst is when it’s done in front of children, not something I ever want them to mimic or think is acceptable.

I am not sure that I quite agree. We were not there of course. I do not think he was apologising for her, but I compare it to cancelling plans or being late. It is normal for taking responsibility to be socially harder on the woman so it is normal for the man to take the role of saying the difficult things. IN this case, she made the request and he said the sorry, reversing that.

Do you complain a lot? It sounds like he apologises for you often.

Dinner at 5pm? Was it your Golden wedding anniversary?!

I’m exactly the same, my DH finds it funny as I am the same in cinemas, on holiday etc. He would never apologise about it though but he rarely apologies anyway. It is a bit annoying but I’m guilty of doing this to DH, we were in a restaurant and the waiter dropped a plateful of mangetout over him from behind but mostly his jacket on a spare chair, he kind of huffed about it and I felt bad for the waiter so I apologised to him.

I had a friend who whenever we went out to eat and the server brought the food, would say “thank you” condescendingly after I had already said thank you — as if I couldn’t speak for myself.
It got so annoying that I told her I wouldn’t be buying her meals any longer if she kept it up.
I’m with you, @rickysally— nobody needs to speak on my behalf. Nobody needs to say thank you or apologise for me.
It’s offensive, it’s rude and it’s unnecessary.

Jokes are supposed to be funny.
You know - everybody laughs.
Shaming the OP because she might be, what, a boomer? Older than you?
Yeah - not funny.

I always faux apologise profusely to mask some of my rudeness as I head towards the table I want 😂

Bravo!

@AndiOliversGlasses we are in our 30s
We went for a early dinner because we had paid for a fancy hotel and wanted to make the most out of it
The hotel had a spa etc so we would rather have a early dinner then use the spa / enjoy the room