Partner "apologised " for me,would you be annoyed ?

[rickysally]

It's our anniversary night away.
I booked a nice restaurant and on the special request asked for a booth or a table with some privacy.
I specifically asked for this as they have form for having people practically sat on other tables knee.
We went for early dinner at 5pm
It was dead
One other couple
She walked us to the table next to the couple (a small two table )
So I said "sorry can we sit over there for some privacy please"
She looked and rolled her eyes and said yes
As we were walking over my partner said to her "sorry about this "

Sorry about what ? The place was dead
I was honestly fuming
Then other people started arriving and rather than spacing people out she sat them all next to each other (so had people on top of us anyway )

Would you be annoyed at partner ?
Why do restaurants do this ?

Don't be shy, say what you really mean! 🤣

Love this, btw. There's a special place in hell for the gutless shit eaters xx

Yes, I'd be furious. I have very little tolerance for gutless shit-eating men who feel compelled to appease everyone apart from the woman they are actually supposed to have some loyalty towards
Blimey and there's me thinking it was just a social platitude that a lot of us Brits do!!

So I said "sorry can we sit over there for some privacy please"

You apologised too.

There was no need for him to apologise a second time after you had apologised but if you felt you were putting someone out then your instinct is to apologise (especially if you’re British).

Some people have “sorry” built in and I don’t think they can help themselves. Whether or not i escalated this would depend on how often partner did this and if there was a pattern of him apologising on my behalf (which is annoying but not worth bothering about if isolated incident).

He sounds like a little toad, desperate to make a random waitress think he's 'nicer' than you are. There was an implication from him that you were being unreasonably demanding (you weren't) and he'd never have asked to move. Not nice having a partner who's anxious to let strangers know that he disapproves of your actions.

i be annoyed by his coment yes like oh what is she like

but i know the reason they o this is they have sections they cnt serve table one an table 20 aswell

My husband would have done the same - hates conflict, a serial apologiser, a people pleaser.

We do use it to our advantage sometimes as he is not a good negotiator... I ask/negotiate, he apologises for me, they feel sorry for him, we get what was wanted.

We have been married 25 years though, so the kinks have been ironed out, was a bit annoyed at the start sometimes, but he was a "keeper" for a million other reasons.

Many insightful posts on this thread. Personally I dislike the use of I’m sorry to mitigate every situation the tiniest bit uncomfortable or difficult. I have both personally and professionally said …SORRY means nothing. It’s just you hoping to resolve the situation so it can be the past. Yanbu there was no need to apologize to an eye rolling waitress/hostess you already did to soften the message and he should
say nothing allowing you to say thank you for this perfectly reasonable request which you initiated. As for a privileged dinner at 5 pm with you blowing it all out of proportion….MN always has a few amusing rogue posters.

Years ago I went to a restaurant with then boyfriend. I 'complained' that we didn't have any cutlery after waiting ages to be served, to add insult to injury the person serving us was a bit off with us. Boyfriend appeased the situation a bit with the staff. After the waiter left I was still pd off about it all, especially as bf had sucked up to them. Bf told me to 'button it' as any further words from me would likely mean our meal was 'spoiled' in some way. Disgusting I know, but I always chose my words very carefully after that when in a restaurant.

I'm the kind of person who will never complain about anything, and would have taken the rubbish table even though I would have loved a different one. If my DP had asked for another I'd have been mortified, and may also have apologised as a defence mechanism. It's not apologising FOR them, but rather apologising to ease your own discomfort.

You're overthinking this massively, unless there's a huge backstory you've not mentioned.

I don't know why this poster ^ is getting such a hard time.

Spineless people like this DO exist. My DH doesn't do this (thank god!) but he does a watered down version: he's forever moving me out of the way from oncoming people, like I'm some kind of playable character in a video game.

I might have asked him what he was sorry about and made it clear that I wasn't sorry at all for asking for what I wanted and thought I'd booked.

Put up and shut up while paying for the privilege? No, thank you.

Would you be annoyed at partner ? YES very

Why do restaurants do this ? ime its bc only certain sections of tables are covered by waitstaff so the greeter clumps diners in that section only. Its to make things easier on the server, usually their tables are adjacent to each other. It shouldn't have been a problem to seat you elsewhere esp as you'd requested it when making your reservations.

I'd be irritated at the person who sat you and rolled her eyes and at my H for his reaction.

I think you sre looking forvsomething to be annoyed at. Get a grip.

Women are actually known to apologise much more than men...

I've no doubt he would never do this because... Is he even alive and safe at this poiny? 😂

I once read some good advice for women (who are often the worst over-apologisers, not men at all): say "thank you" instead of "sorry".

Women apologise at work and in life when they need something done, or want to bring something up, when what they mean is "thank you".

Btw, I might have done the same in his position just to ease the almost physical tension, but then still been annoyed at the waitress.

Yes, I think the OP's husband should also have followed this advice.

I agree – that was my point btw :)

This would definitely annoy me. Firstly I would be pissed off that they tried to seat us next to someone else in an otherwise empty restaurant. As for someone apologising for me,that would piss me off even more!

He was being polite and nice to a waitress encouraging ongoing further good service. He wasnt apologising for your behaviour. He was apologising for not accepting the offered table. It's just what you do (British)

You've taken this the wrong way i think.

@popcornbit he is alive and well and snarfing chocolate biscuits while he changes for football practice I am not actually a ferocious harpy IRL and he's quite safe! He isn't a "sorry about her" type anyway, I wouldn't have married him if he had been.