Not going to have grandchildren- do what you want?

[Tumbleweed101]

My children have decided they don’t want children. I’m a little sad as I’d have liked some grandchildren however does this mean I can move into the next stage of life guilt free? Move where I want, do what I want away from my children. I’ve been a single mum for 13 years. My eldest children are mid 20s and youngest are 18 and 15. Obviously I still need to care for youngest a few more years but am I wrong to start making plans? Anyone else with adult children not wanting their own children? Have you put plans in place? Most of my peers have grandchildren so they are tied up helping with them so wondered what free 50s are doing.

Yes, my DD always said she didn't want children then changed her mind in her mid-30s. Sadly due to medical problems she knew if would be difficult and was told it was virtually impossible that IVF would work so she adopted as a single parent. Only at that time did we decide to move closer to give her any help she might need.

Making plans for yourself is a sensible thing to do and should not be dependent on whether or not you become a granny. You have spent almost 30 years on looking after your children. Now is the time to move into the next phase where the relationship becomes more of friendship and companions.

So many people seem to have an idealised idea of what being a grand parent should be. There is no guarantee that, even if they do have children, you will have the involvement you think.

Embrace this new chapter and seize every opportunity to make yourself happy. I think your children will be much happier knowing you are independent.

You have ONE life, spend it wisely. If moving away makes you happy, then absolutely do it. Your children will enjoy holidays with you. Even if you have grandchildren, your grandchildren will enjoy holidays with you. Just make sure you have a back up plan, if things don’t work out as you hope they will.