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WWYD about lying hairdresser?

488 replies

CharDee · 26/05/2024 21:16

I was bridesmaid at a wedding yesterday. The bride wanted to spend the morning with her mum and sister who is MOH and then the bridesmaids turn up at 12 for photos and to get dressed. All bridesmaids were asked to do their own hair and makeup so before Christmas I booked with my regular hair dresser for her to do my hair and makeup yesterday morning. My appointment was at 9. I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 7 years and go roughly every 3 months for a colour and book hair/make up for special occasions because I am genuinely terrible at styling my own hair! It’s something that she knows and often jokes about! I also don’t own much makeup as I don’t wear it often.

On Friday night just after 11 I got a message from my hairdresser to say it was her husband messaging and that she was currently in a&e very unwell, would likely be there for hours as she hadn’t been seen yet and she needed to cancel my appointment. Obviously I replied and thanked him for letting me know and sent my well wishes.

Being ill is completely unavoidable and although it inconvenienced me, I was more concerned about her health. The late hour meant that I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else and even though I did call a few local salons as soon as they opened on Saturday morning, the only appointment was one late in the afternoon.

I managed to do my own hair, just straightened it and put a nice clip in. I put a bit of makeup on but it didn’t look that good! The other bridesmaids are completely different skin tones so they were able to help a little. I felt a bit rubbish but had a good time anyway, just didn’t feel very special! I have very low self esteem at the moment and felt so washed out standing with the stunning bride and beautiful bridesmaids. It really hasn’t helped.

Whilst waiting for the reception I was on instagram and saw a friend’s story. She had gone on her hen do abroad that morning. She shared photos of the airport which were from 6:30 in the morning and she’s there with all her friends all posing with drinks. My hairdresser was one of them. It’s definitely her and we have both spoken about hen do friend being a mutual friend. I went on to friends Facebook profile and saw they’d all been for a meal and then stayed in an apartment the night before and hairdresser was in the photos but not tagged. There was a video of the hen doing something that was posted at 11:30 and hairdresser is there in the background laughing with someone else. In the actual video the hen said something about it being nearly midnight and how she needed her beauty sleep.

I paid a 50% deposit for my appointment and in the message her husband said that she would transfer the deposit to my next appointment which is booked for a few weeks time for a colour. I am a regular customer and this appointment was made months ago. If she had double booked herself and said she had this hen do then I would have understood and had time to book elsewhere. Instead she has lied about it and left me completely stuck.

Would you contact her when she’s back from the hen do and ask her about it? Would you cancel the upcoming appointment? Would you just let it go?

I’m trying to work out a scenario where she hasn’t lied but she was hardly going to be able to do my hair whilst on a flight to Ibiza even if she wasn’t ill.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/05/2024 17:21

CharDee · 27/05/2024 14:00

We have a reply!

“Heyy, sure I’ll send the refund over when I’m back. Need to double check how much it was you sent. Are you rearranging your next appointment?”

I’ve replied

“Thank you. It was £50 for the appointment you cancelled on Saturday and it was £30 for my upcoming appointment. The screenshots of the payments I made are in this chat, just above the messages from you last Sunday confirming my appointment and from your husband, late on Friday night, to tell me you were ill and had to cancel my appointment.

I will be rearranging my appointment with a different hairdresser, I’m afraid. As good as you are as a hairdresser and MUA, I’m not sure even in your best health you would have been able to style my hair and do my makeup to a good enough standard from a plane on its way to Ibiza.

Let me know when you’ve transferred the money back."

Perfect response, @ATribeCalledQuestion!

RedHelenB · 27/05/2024 17:31

ArmchairPhycologist · 26/05/2024 21:25

I wouldn't be going back to her. That's an appalling lie.

It's a lie but not an appalling one. It's possible she got her dates muddled when taking OPs booking. Least said soonest mended in this case I think.

ArmchairPhycologist · 27/05/2024 17:35

RedHelenB · 27/05/2024 17:31

It's a lie but not an appalling one. It's possible she got her dates muddled when taking OPs booking. Least said soonest mended in this case I think.

Getting someone to say she was ill in hospital when she was actually out on the piss is pretty appalling in my book.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/05/2024 17:36

It is pretty appalling, given that the hairdresser knew @CharDee needed her hair and make up done because she was a bridesmaid, @RedHelenB.

And if she had just got her dates muddled, why not be honest about it earlier, so the OP would have had more chance of finding another hairdresser and MUA? I think that’s the least she should have done - she could have used her contacts to find a replacement for @CharDee, then rung her up and said, “I am so sorry - I am such a numpty but I booked your appointment when I’m in Ibiza on a hen-do, but X will do it for you at the same time.”

thedendrochronologist · 27/05/2024 17:51

Well done op, you have lovely family and I'm sure you look amazing.

She is so arrogant!

She didn't even say sorry, and had the nerve to say she had to check on how much you had paid even though you have told her.

She sounds awful! I'd be mortified and pay whatever the customer had said! And I'd have said sorry I understand.

harriethoyle · 27/05/2024 18:02

CharDee · 27/05/2024 14:00

We have a reply!

“Heyy, sure I’ll send the refund over when I’m back. Need to double check how much it was you sent. Are you rearranging your next appointment?”

I’ve replied

“Thank you. It was £50 for the appointment you cancelled on Saturday and it was £30 for my upcoming appointment. The screenshots of the payments I made are in this chat, just above the messages from you last Sunday confirming my appointment and from your husband, late on Friday night, to tell me you were ill and had to cancel my appointment.

I will be rearranging my appointment with a different hairdresser, I’m afraid. As good as you are as a hairdresser and MUA, I’m not sure even in your best health you would have been able to style my hair and do my makeup to a good enough standard from a plane on its way to Ibiza.

Let me know when you’ve transferred the money back."

Oh my God I LOVE your Ibiza flight mic drop!! Well done, @CharDee 👌

1offnamechange · 27/05/2024 18:03

I had a similar thing last time I had booked to have makeup done. MUA gave one excuse to me, but tbf did line up a replacement appointment with a friend who also does make up, who, in fairness, did a perfectly good job, however friend obviously hadn't been briefed on the excuse and told me original MUA was at a wedding herself.

Like you, if she'd just said 'so sorry, I got my dates mixed up, do you want a refund or for me to rearrange?' I'd have been absolutely fine, there's no need to fib!

particularly silly when it's the sort of job where recommendations are key.

Fraaahnces · 27/05/2024 18:03

@CharDee - I just wanted to pop in and say that your second response to the hairdresser was absolutely perfect! She is such a CF playing dumb and expecting you to wait for her to return. What a cow!
Also your DH is a keeper!

LizzieBennett73 · 27/05/2024 18:05

Wow that is serious level shitty behaviour, especially when you have a long standing relationship with her. Well done on a very good calling out on it.

TerrysNeapolitan · 27/05/2024 18:06

She is pretty dim lying and then being splashed over SM. Deposit back and find a new hairdresser. She has no respect for you. The hen do was hardly a spur of the moment thing!

1offnamechange · 27/05/2024 18:06

Oh, and in terms of feeling bad compared to the other bridesmaids - I'm sure that was because they had the full face of make up on and hair done, and you didn't!

I don't personally like the heavily made up look, but the reason people do it for big occasions is because it does stay on well and what looks a bit OTT in real life tends to look good in photos, making people with minimal make up on look washed out in comparison. I'm sure if either you'd had the make up as well, or none of you had, you'd look completely the same as them.

Backtoblack1 · 27/05/2024 18:12

pikkumyy77 · 26/05/2024 21:24

I would definitely complain and ask for the deposit to be refunded. And I would never use her again.

This!

RedRobyn2021 · 27/05/2024 18:12

Surprised she didn't even apologise to you

TimetoPour · 27/05/2024 18:20

Well done OP! Great response x

Nonewclothes2024 · 27/05/2024 18:20

@CharDee so no apology from her then ?

Delphiniumandlupins · 27/05/2024 18:29

Great response. However good her work she's just not a nice person and doesn't deserve your business.

Your DH is a star though. Trust what he says about how you look. I'm sure the bride was also happy with your appearance and support.

SillyLemonZebra · 27/05/2024 18:30

She’s such a cheeky bastard honestly. I’m glad you sent her that message and if there is a silver lining I think it’s that it has become a special moment to bond with your husband over. He sounds lovely and I’m 100% sure you’re absolutely beautiful. I hope one day you see that for yourself. ♥️

Livelovebehappy · 27/05/2024 18:33

Yep. I’d message her saying ‘hope you enjoyed the hen do, which must have been difficult in between your visits to A&E. Btw, can you cancel my upcoming appointment and refund my money. Thanks’

Nazzywish · 27/05/2024 18:35

Oh OP what a horrible person she is to have lied so much. If she's a part of a hairdressers stick a formal complaint in to them, she needs to learn how unprofessional she's been and be held to account. Your reply was spot on.
What a lovely dh and family you have. Forget the awful lady and concentrate on those who matter she really doesn't get to take up Any more headspace

Eddielizzard · 27/05/2024 18:40

Well done. You stated your position with dignity. Nothing more needs to be said now, she'd better just refund your money and if she has any sense, a heartfelt apology. Even if she grovels, do not go back to her.

Love how supportive your DH and niece are!

LilianaVikavanovich · 27/05/2024 18:46

Petesbowtie9 · 26/05/2024 21:27

Just say you are really sorry but you need to cancel your upcoming appointment as you’ll be in Ibiza on a hen do …

This , but without the really sorry bit

and I’ve just seen your update , well done , and your DH is a keeper 💐

butterpuffed · 27/05/2024 18:49

Your message was brilliant , well done . She sounds a bit dim as she dropped herself in it in her reply anyway saying she'd refund you "when I'm back" .

NalafromtheLionKing · 27/05/2024 18:54

You have done the right thing, and your DH sounds wonderful.

ArmchairPhycologist · 27/05/2024 19:01

CharDee · 27/05/2024 14:00

We have a reply!

“Heyy, sure I’ll send the refund over when I’m back. Need to double check how much it was you sent. Are you rearranging your next appointment?”

I’ve replied

“Thank you. It was £50 for the appointment you cancelled on Saturday and it was £30 for my upcoming appointment. The screenshots of the payments I made are in this chat, just above the messages from you last Sunday confirming my appointment and from your husband, late on Friday night, to tell me you were ill and had to cancel my appointment.

I will be rearranging my appointment with a different hairdresser, I’m afraid. As good as you are as a hairdresser and MUA, I’m not sure even in your best health you would have been able to style my hair and do my makeup to a good enough standard from a plane on its way to Ibiza.

Let me know when you’ve transferred the money back."

Your reply is excellent Grin

I wonder if she'll dare try a comeback or will just transfer the money.

HamptonWishList · 27/05/2024 19:05

I never understand why in this situation people come up with wild ideas and scenarios about 'what to do'.

Why don't you just do the obvious thing which is communicate to her directly (whether in person, by message or over the telephone) exactly what the problem is and see what she says. I'd do it in person face to face myself because i) then there isn't an email/message she can forward on or be spiteful about posting online; ii) face to face you'll be able to see her reaction and iii) she;ll have less time to make up a further lie.

in other words the main points longstanding trust/lie/why?

I was a long standing customer of yours and valued your service. You know I've gone out of my way to give you positive reviews and thought we had a professional trusting relationship. You knew I'd booked this appointment for an important event (wedding where I was a bridesmaid if you told her). This appointment was made [x weeks ago]. I was upset to get a message the night before from your husband cancelling it because you were in a&E because althought it was a severe inconvenience to me, I was very worried about you having a severe emergency. I tried to get another appointment but couldn't which spoiled the day for me as I am crap at doing my hair and all the other bridemaids looked professionally coiffured/million dollars so I felt very down and dowdy for the whole day (ramp it up as much as you feel like doing) [Imagine my surprise] when I saw photos online of you at this hen do in Ibiza at the time of my appointment. I can't understand why you just didn't tell me the truth and cancel earlier to give me the chance to book elsewhere if you were going abroad. I also don't understand why your husband would tell such an unpleasant and upsetting story if it wasn't the case. Because we have had such a long standing relationship, I wanted to speak to you about it face to face to give you a chance to explain.

That's what I'd do and listen to what she says.

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