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WWYD about lying hairdresser?

488 replies

CharDee · 26/05/2024 21:16

I was bridesmaid at a wedding yesterday. The bride wanted to spend the morning with her mum and sister who is MOH and then the bridesmaids turn up at 12 for photos and to get dressed. All bridesmaids were asked to do their own hair and makeup so before Christmas I booked with my regular hair dresser for her to do my hair and makeup yesterday morning. My appointment was at 9. I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 7 years and go roughly every 3 months for a colour and book hair/make up for special occasions because I am genuinely terrible at styling my own hair! It’s something that she knows and often jokes about! I also don’t own much makeup as I don’t wear it often.

On Friday night just after 11 I got a message from my hairdresser to say it was her husband messaging and that she was currently in a&e very unwell, would likely be there for hours as she hadn’t been seen yet and she needed to cancel my appointment. Obviously I replied and thanked him for letting me know and sent my well wishes.

Being ill is completely unavoidable and although it inconvenienced me, I was more concerned about her health. The late hour meant that I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else and even though I did call a few local salons as soon as they opened on Saturday morning, the only appointment was one late in the afternoon.

I managed to do my own hair, just straightened it and put a nice clip in. I put a bit of makeup on but it didn’t look that good! The other bridesmaids are completely different skin tones so they were able to help a little. I felt a bit rubbish but had a good time anyway, just didn’t feel very special! I have very low self esteem at the moment and felt so washed out standing with the stunning bride and beautiful bridesmaids. It really hasn’t helped.

Whilst waiting for the reception I was on instagram and saw a friend’s story. She had gone on her hen do abroad that morning. She shared photos of the airport which were from 6:30 in the morning and she’s there with all her friends all posing with drinks. My hairdresser was one of them. It’s definitely her and we have both spoken about hen do friend being a mutual friend. I went on to friends Facebook profile and saw they’d all been for a meal and then stayed in an apartment the night before and hairdresser was in the photos but not tagged. There was a video of the hen doing something that was posted at 11:30 and hairdresser is there in the background laughing with someone else. In the actual video the hen said something about it being nearly midnight and how she needed her beauty sleep.

I paid a 50% deposit for my appointment and in the message her husband said that she would transfer the deposit to my next appointment which is booked for a few weeks time for a colour. I am a regular customer and this appointment was made months ago. If she had double booked herself and said she had this hen do then I would have understood and had time to book elsewhere. Instead she has lied about it and left me completely stuck.

Would you contact her when she’s back from the hen do and ask her about it? Would you cancel the upcoming appointment? Would you just let it go?

I’m trying to work out a scenario where she hasn’t lied but she was hardly going to be able to do my hair whilst on a flight to Ibiza even if she wasn’t ill.

OP posts:
Fladdermus · 28/05/2024 12:32

afterfive · 28/05/2024 12:30

Perhaps you should have started a new thread with the last update. I’d be pretty pissed off if I was 22 and had someone basically outing me like you have done. It’s not difficult to put two and two together, if you know the hairdresser who was in Ibiza with lots of friends.

Maybe best to not go around lusting after married men if you don't want to be outed for it.

AliceOlive · 28/05/2024 12:33

I really doubt we have to be worried about anyone being outed.

CharDee · 28/05/2024 12:34

There is definitely one of him with his arm around her but it's a posed photo. There might be other ones but he wouldn't just go and put his arm around her or anyone else. We have barbecues quite a bit over the summer where we have our friends over and she might come along and greet us with a hug and do the same when she leaves. DN does this too and so do some of her other friends. DN will ask DH for a hug or she will shuffle up next to him and give him a signal for a hug. It's a really silly thing they do together but I think it's cute how close they are. He's been in her life since she was very young, she has a lovely framed photo on her wall of her on his shoulders at the zoo from the first time he properly met her and I do think their relationship is sometimes more big brother rather than uncle and niece. He would do absolutely anything for her and would probably extend that to her friends if she asked for help.

Maybe he does just need to back off a bit but he doesn't insert himself in anything and won't go in to the garden or kitchen if they're all in there to respect their privacy. He'll be genuinely upset if he's done anything to hurt Emma's feelings and if he's done anything to drive a wedge between her and DN. He has known some of her friends since they were in primary school. After a particularly heavy night out, he found one of DN's friends throwing up in our kitchen and he sent a message to me and dn to tell us he was with her and asked for someone to come help. I know Emma's mum too and have known Emma since she was in nursery with my niece. She is always so lovely and is a great friend to DN.

OP posts:

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afterfive · 28/05/2024 12:34

AliceOlive · 28/05/2024 12:33

I really doubt we have to be worried about anyone being outed.

Starting to think the same tbh

3luckystars · 28/05/2024 12:35

CharDee · 28/05/2024 00:29

Yeah I think it must have been her messaging pretending to be him. It came from her business Facebook account.

Even worse. What a low character she is.

Icehockeyflowers · 28/05/2024 12:37

afterfive · 28/05/2024 12:34

Starting to think the same tbh

Same.

CharDee · 28/05/2024 12:41

Sorry to derail! Didn't even think about starting a new thread for this. I'll just leave the Emma situation and update if the hairdresser gets back to me! I'll speak to DH later but won't mention it to DN.

OP posts:
ChickyBricky · 28/05/2024 12:49

Maybe he does just need to back off a bit but he doesn't insert himself in anything

As long as he continues to not insert himself OP, no one needs to worry 😜

MarkWithaC · 28/05/2024 12:52

She's a piece of work.
I'd have done the same as you, OP.

BirthdayRainbow · 28/05/2024 12:58

Emma thinks she needs to tell your DH she has feelings for him?

Er no, why didn't her mum shout that down immediately?

DN = dear niece.

Feelsodrained · 28/05/2024 13:40

Bit weird that Emma’s 21st was at your house tbh. Maybe say no to things like that - she can arrange it at a local pub or something. Many middle aged men would totally get a kick out of a 22 year old fancying them so maybe keep a little bit of a distance and you could do the lifts home rather than him. Or these girls could get a taxi or something.

Daisys24 · 28/05/2024 14:11

I can’t believe the blame your sister is putting on your DH. Emma is not a child but is acting like one. I think your DH needs to shut this down with Emma.

SloaneStreetVandal · 28/05/2024 14:11

@CharDee Why would your niece not tell you about her friend's infatuation? She must know if the friend has pictures of him all over her bedroom wall??? And it being at the advanced stage of her friend planning to declare her love and (hoping, I presume?) they'll toddle off into the sunset together. It doesn't smack remotely of the type of loyalty you've described between you and your niece... Bizarre.

I actually got a thou dost protest vibe from you in your earlier posts when you were talking about your niece and husband, to be very honest. Maybe I'm just being cynical though.

Hmmm 🤨

DecafCanEffOff · 28/05/2024 14:29

AliceOlive · 28/05/2024 12:33

I really doubt we have to be worried about anyone being outed.

Agree. Disappointed as was invested!

SloaneStreetVandal · 28/05/2024 14:34

DecafCanEffOff · 28/05/2024 14:29

Agree. Disappointed as was invested!

Yup! Rhetorical why... 🤷‍♀️

medianewbie · 28/05/2024 14:48

Petesbowtie9 · 26/05/2024 21:27

Just say you are really sorry but you need to cancel your upcoming appointment as you’ll be in Ibiza on a hen do …

Perfect!
And she owes you that 50% deposit as you won't need further appts with her.
It's very disappointing behaviour when you've been a loyal customer for so long.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 28/05/2024 14:54

medianewbie · 28/05/2024 14:48

Perfect!
And she owes you that 50% deposit as you won't need further appts with her.
It's very disappointing behaviour when you've been a loyal customer for so long.

Trust me I’ve known enough hairdressers to realise that even if you’ve been a loyal customer for years, some of them still treat you like shit.

My current one is great and the last one was too, but when it came to handling her rude staff I couldn’t be arsed to hang around. No way do I want my hair done knowing one of your staff thinks I’m a pita or dislikes me, and that’s with me doing nothing wrong to this person, ever!

OneFrenchEgg · 28/05/2024 14:59

Why would your niece arrange a party for her friend at your house? That's so bizarre. I can't imagine that and I'm close to my nephews.

mommatoone · 28/05/2024 15:03

I'm confused!! 🥴

OverfilledBookcase · 28/05/2024 15:19

Gosh OP that is absolutely atrocious!

You even contacted the hairdresser a week before and she confirmed the time when she knew she wouldn’t be there? Did I understand that right?

It sounds like she deliberately let you down to me. Any person running a business with bookings would rearrange them if they were going away. You can’t have been her only appointment on a Saturday which is generally the busiest day.

Good message you sent although you are more magnanimous than me as I would have been much ruder. What was the comment in her response about double checking how much you paid as deposits? That was unnecessary.

Definitely give a bad review saying exactly what happened - be aware, if you have a wedding booking as X may let you down at the last minute and pretend they’re ill in hospital when they’re really living it up in Ibiza!

As for the situation with your niece’s friend’s obsession with your DH, don’t have her friends around anymore. They can meet up outside the house at that age. DD’s friends used to have crushes on DH from when she was a teen and she still comments that her friends say her Dad is ‘hot’ now in her mid 20’s. DH is mid 50’s! She finds it really disrespectful and they don’t get invited over.

IndecentPropolis · 28/05/2024 15:29

Gosh whatever next.

CharDee · 28/05/2024 15:44

I won't get in to the Emma thing too much but DN lives here so she had a surprise party for her friend here. She lives in our garage which is basically a studio apartment. We have had a lot of work done in our garden and we often have people over in all weathers. Our garden has some "instagrammable" spots which were well utilised.

I don't think DN knows anything about Emma. It doesn't sound like she's plastered pictures of DH all over her wall but she obviously has a couple up. DN has a board of Polaroid pictures up so maybe it's just something like that?

I don't think DH acts inappropriately around any of DN's friends. He doesn't jump at the chance to offer lifts but there are times when it's hard to get a taxi or Uber or if he knows they're going out he'll offer to take them if they're leaving before a certain time. Maybe things are a bit blurred with DH not being the parent so it's not like fancying a dad.

I don't want to ban her having friends over. They usually stick to her space anyway and or will venture in to the garden when it's nice. I am sure if DN knew that Emma was planning on declaring her love to DH she would step in.

Still no refund or message back from the hairdresser.

OP posts:
Problemzapper · 28/05/2024 15:46

Loyalty cuts both ways between hairdressers and their clients, and, knowing that it was for your bridesmaid stint, she let you down big time!

I would request a refund of your deposit, and look for another hairdresser asap.
If she presses you on why you don't want to stay with her then by all means let her have it with both barrells!

I was once let down years ago on New Year's Eve by a previous hairdresser who I had been with a few years, who tried to make out I had got wrong time/date, when in fact she had greedily overbooked her slots and had run out of time and couldn't be arsed to work on through as she had her own plans that night. Like you, I found doing my own hair really tricky at the time, so I went out feeling a bit rubbish too, but if I had been in your situation I would've been livid. On this occasion I sweetly booked another appointment with her then cancelled an hour beforehand just to piss her off! (as I had found an alternative hairdresser by then 😀)

Good luck getting your money back - and that's a funny thing too, I've never heard of paying a deposit for a hair appointment, even though my appointments aren't cheap - she can't have much confidence in her clients returning, eh!

OutOfTheHouse · 28/05/2024 15:52

This situation with Emma is odd. A 22 year old behaving in this way? A 16 year old I could imagine but at 22 she needs to get a grip. Make sure DH isn’t alone with her to keep himself free of any accusations.

SunGoesIntoHiding · 28/05/2024 15:53

I wouldn’t have mentioned anything to the hairdresser until you had the deposit refunded. Then you could have explained about how she left you in lurch. I think she forgot to cancel you way back when trip planned and realised last minute hence the made up a&e trip.

There was a lot of fawning over DH and DN around the middle of this story when they got you hair products, hair equipment and new make up to suit you (by showing random counter person your picture) - am I think only one who would actually be quite hurt by this?? I think I’d spiral into a “ohhh I must really have looked a state then if they buying me things to do my hair and makeup” which is obviously the opposite impact that they meant

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