WWYD about lying hairdresser?

[CharDee]

I was bridesmaid at a wedding yesterday. The bride wanted to spend the morning with her mum and sister who is MOH and then the bridesmaids turn up at 12 for photos and to get dressed. All bridesmaids were asked to do their own hair and makeup so before Christmas I booked with my regular hair dresser for her to do my hair and makeup yesterday morning. My appointment was at 9. I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 7 years and go roughly every 3 months for a colour and book hair/make up for special occasions because I am genuinely terrible at styling my own hair! It’s something that she knows and often jokes about! I also don’t own much makeup as I don’t wear it often.

On Friday night just after 11 I got a message from my hairdresser to say it was her husband messaging and that she was currently in a&e very unwell, would likely be there for hours as she hadn’t been seen yet and she needed to cancel my appointment. Obviously I replied and thanked him for letting me know and sent my well wishes.

Being ill is completely unavoidable and although it inconvenienced me, I was more concerned about her health. The late hour meant that I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else and even though I did call a few local salons as soon as they opened on Saturday morning, the only appointment was one late in the afternoon.

I managed to do my own hair, just straightened it and put a nice clip in. I put a bit of makeup on but it didn’t look that good! The other bridesmaids are completely different skin tones so they were able to help a little. I felt a bit rubbish but had a good time anyway, just didn’t feel very special! I have very low self esteem at the moment and felt so washed out standing with the stunning bride and beautiful bridesmaids. It really hasn’t helped.

Whilst waiting for the reception I was on instagram and saw a friend’s story. She had gone on her hen do abroad that morning. She shared photos of the airport which were from 6:30 in the morning and she’s there with all her friends all posing with drinks. My hairdresser was one of them. It’s definitely her and we have both spoken about hen do friend being a mutual friend. I went on to friends Facebook profile and saw they’d all been for a meal and then stayed in an apartment the night before and hairdresser was in the photos but not tagged. There was a video of the hen doing something that was posted at 11:30 and hairdresser is there in the background laughing with someone else. In the actual video the hen said something about it being nearly midnight and how she needed her beauty sleep.

I paid a 50% deposit for my appointment and in the message her husband said that she would transfer the deposit to my next appointment which is booked for a few weeks time for a colour. I am a regular customer and this appointment was made months ago. If she had double booked herself and said she had this hen do then I would have understood and had time to book elsewhere. Instead she has lied about it and left me completely stuck.

Would you contact her when she’s back from the hen do and ask her about it? Would you cancel the upcoming appointment? Would you just let it go?

I’m trying to work out a scenario where she hasn’t lied but she was hardly going to be able to do my hair whilst on a flight to Ibiza even if she wasn’t ill.

I'd be demanding my money back straight away - fuck waiting for her to get back her holidays! In fact given that she's taken money from you (and still has it) under false pretences, I'd report her to trading standards or to the nhbf. You have the proof - messages from her firstly lying about her whereabouts (and not giving you your money back), and then admitting she lied (and is actually on holiday).

The way she's behaved is vile. Proper scum behaviour. And to be entirely unapologetic??? No, I'd be out to ruin her rep!

OP, I’d be tempted to leave a review saying exactly what you said to us, her husband messaged you and you found out it was a lie.

Make clear you’d booked hair and makeup for this wedding specifically and it was ruined for you as you couldn’t do this.

And she took ages to refund the deposit.

That gives other clients a heads up and calls her out on her sloppy behaviour.

You could, if you like, if she works for a salon, contact the manager and speak re this. Not to get her into trouble but just to show how you as a valued customer were let down and lied to.

Your DH and DN do sound amazing.

You and me are exactly on the same page!

Ask for a full refund. Is she says no, send her screenshots of the pictures.

You should probably switch hairdressers and definitely if she says no to the refund request.

She probably invented the A&E story specifically so she didn't have to refund the OP straight away - an extra 80 quid in the shots kitty! And the poor OP is left in crisis of confidence, thinking she's trying to offload her for some awful personal reason 😡 I'm fizzing on the OP's behalf!

I'd let DN post a PA "That's a funny looking A&E - thought you were too ill to be able to do my Aunt's wedding hair on Saturday??"

But... maybe after you've had the money back! Unless you paid on credit card, in which case, sod her, post it and do a charge back!

I would go one further and as well as a review I would post a warning on your local fb group and advise people not to use her.

You are the most dignified person I have read about on MN in a long time. You’ve acted with such class & dignity. I salute 🫡 you!

Your hairdresser on the other hand is an unscrupulous lier. You simply don’t treat loyal customers like she has done.

I wouldn't engage in any back and forth on the FB post but I would screenshot it in the event you have to take the woman to small claims court. She should have paid you back straightaway. Shameful.

That’s exactly what I am saying. Potentially it’s not about the op, she’s making it personal it’s all about the other person not wanting to feel uncomfortable hence the lie. Not saying it’s right just offering another perspective. It’s still the same outcome no makeup and hair but on top of that because the op is seeing it as personal that’s an added dose of anger/feeling persecuted which is making the op probably feel horrible about herself .

She is self-employed. She works in a salon that her friend owns but doesn't work for friend.

She may have been a last minute replacement but she was tagged in a post early last week about it so she'd known for a few days she was going.

Another problem has come up now. My sister called before with a warning. DN's best friend, "Emma" went on holiday with DN and 2 other friends. DH took the three of them back to Emma's and brought DN home from the airport. They're all 22 and do come over a lot. Emma's mum is friends with my sister and she has called her up worried about the girls having a crush on DH. They were apparently gushing over how dreamy he is and Emma has told her mum she is "in love" with him.

Now I'm biased, but DH is gorgeous in my eyes and a wonderful person. He is very in shape, well groomed and is starting to get a few grey hairs peppered in. He has tattoos, good fashion sense and a really good job. He is hilarious and kind. He also is a real family man which makes him even more attractive to me. He is always friendly with the girls when they come over and if he's around will offer lifts to town or home if it's late. I do this too but DH is a better driver and has a nicer car. As far as I can see he has never been inappropriate with them and he's never just taken one for a lift in the car. DN always goes too but even if he was alone, I completely trust him.

Emma's 21st was earlier this year and DN arranged a surprise party here for her. It was in the garden and we left them to it but they insisted we joined them for a few drinks. Emma apparently has a picture of her and DH with his arm around her on her wall at home. There are also a few from other times they've been here. Her mum just thought it was a crush at first when there was a bit more mentionitis but it's escalated. Emma told her that she can't help how she feels and doesn't want to hurt anyone but thinks that she needs to tell DH.

My sister thinks that we need to stop all DN's friends coming over and that I need to be on alert incase Emma tries anything. I feel bad for her, I don't think DH has done anything to mislead her but she has developed feelings. My sister has asked if maybe DH could be flirting with these girls or showing off to get an ego boost but I can't see him doing that. She thinks maybe it's inappropriate for him to be so nice to them but that's just the way he is.

Not sure if I should mention it to dn or if we should just carry on as normal but DH step back a bit and if Emma speaks to him he can let her down gently.

Umm I would probably start a new thread for that OP, just for the sake of clarity! As this could get very confusing...

Also what is DN short for?

There are several photos of your DH with his arm around this girl??

Dear Niece

Stop having niece’s friends over. Immediately. Playing with fire here….

🩷🩷🥺

I think you should make sure DH isn't left in a position of being alone with her and is ready for any advances/nastiness that could occur when he turns her down. Young women can be awfully vindictive.

It's lovely that you feel sorry for her. We've all been there as a youngster. You just need to be prepared for it to possibly escalate.

I agree that letting DN know you know would be a bad move. Best to keep her out of the loop and close ranks.

It could be so awkward for DH. Maybe best, if he does find himself around them, to make it clear in conversation that he is very happy and already has the only woman he would ever want. A little 'You could put Margot Robbie in front of me and I wouldn't be tempted - your Aunt is the only woman for me' conversations in the group generally might let her down gently.

That was quite a turn.

The hairdresser is extremely unprofessional.

However, you should try not to take it personally and try to see it as a reflection on her lack of professionalism.

I suspect she forgot to notify you and then panicked and made up the ridiculous story. It's unlikely to be anything personal or related to your "quality" as a client.

To be honest, she also comes across as a bit dim, given she knows you are likely to see your friend's SM.

This separate issue - if you can talk to her and her mother together and just say this is not appropriate etc or at least think about it - just not acceptable

Walk-in to Salon and request the refund. Just ask for the refund of deposit for service not provided.
It’s your right to get this money back, and pay for other treatment when it happens. The failure was the Salon fault.
Later cancel the color & cut & find a new hairdresser.
You need to trust the person doing your hair.

Lying Hairdresser will find out soon enough, they seem to know everything.

This wouldn't bother me unless he had his willy out.

Well she's scored a massive own goal hasn't she. Nobody is going to trust her with wedding hair and makeup once you post your honest review. Who would risk being cancelled on the night before their wedding so the stylist can piss off on holiday?

Perhaps you should have started a new thread with the last update. I’d be pretty pissed off if I was 22 and had someone basically outing me like you have done. It’s not difficult to put two and two together, if you know the hairdresser who was in Ibiza with lots of friends.

Lying POS!
SO sorry OP. I get you, I am not good at party hair/make up neither and never think I look that glamorous. Sounds like you have a fabulous DH and niece. Just remember - beauty is in the eye of the beholder.