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WWYD about lying hairdresser?

488 replies

CharDee · 26/05/2024 21:16

I was bridesmaid at a wedding yesterday. The bride wanted to spend the morning with her mum and sister who is MOH and then the bridesmaids turn up at 12 for photos and to get dressed. All bridesmaids were asked to do their own hair and makeup so before Christmas I booked with my regular hair dresser for her to do my hair and makeup yesterday morning. My appointment was at 9. I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 7 years and go roughly every 3 months for a colour and book hair/make up for special occasions because I am genuinely terrible at styling my own hair! It’s something that she knows and often jokes about! I also don’t own much makeup as I don’t wear it often.

On Friday night just after 11 I got a message from my hairdresser to say it was her husband messaging and that she was currently in a&e very unwell, would likely be there for hours as she hadn’t been seen yet and she needed to cancel my appointment. Obviously I replied and thanked him for letting me know and sent my well wishes.

Being ill is completely unavoidable and although it inconvenienced me, I was more concerned about her health. The late hour meant that I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else and even though I did call a few local salons as soon as they opened on Saturday morning, the only appointment was one late in the afternoon.

I managed to do my own hair, just straightened it and put a nice clip in. I put a bit of makeup on but it didn’t look that good! The other bridesmaids are completely different skin tones so they were able to help a little. I felt a bit rubbish but had a good time anyway, just didn’t feel very special! I have very low self esteem at the moment and felt so washed out standing with the stunning bride and beautiful bridesmaids. It really hasn’t helped.

Whilst waiting for the reception I was on instagram and saw a friend’s story. She had gone on her hen do abroad that morning. She shared photos of the airport which were from 6:30 in the morning and she’s there with all her friends all posing with drinks. My hairdresser was one of them. It’s definitely her and we have both spoken about hen do friend being a mutual friend. I went on to friends Facebook profile and saw they’d all been for a meal and then stayed in an apartment the night before and hairdresser was in the photos but not tagged. There was a video of the hen doing something that was posted at 11:30 and hairdresser is there in the background laughing with someone else. In the actual video the hen said something about it being nearly midnight and how she needed her beauty sleep.

I paid a 50% deposit for my appointment and in the message her husband said that she would transfer the deposit to my next appointment which is booked for a few weeks time for a colour. I am a regular customer and this appointment was made months ago. If she had double booked herself and said she had this hen do then I would have understood and had time to book elsewhere. Instead she has lied about it and left me completely stuck.

Would you contact her when she’s back from the hen do and ask her about it? Would you cancel the upcoming appointment? Would you just let it go?

I’m trying to work out a scenario where she hasn’t lied but she was hardly going to be able to do my hair whilst on a flight to Ibiza even if she wasn’t ill.

OP posts:
CharDee · 27/05/2024 21:25

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 27/05/2024 20:58

Are you feeling okay now OP? I just want to give you a hug! X

I am ok thank you. I know it's a really stupid thing to be upset about but I'm just a bit low at the moment and it has knocked me a bit.

OP posts:
CoffeeLover90 · 27/05/2024 21:27

I don't think it's anything about you, honestly. She probably realised a while ago, after booking you in, that she was off for the hen do. Rather than be honest, decided to keep the deposit towards the guaranteed appointment, in case it risked losing you. Or she's been invited last minute, not as last minute as the night before, but put herself first instead of letting you know in more time. Again Rather than risk losing you.
Backfired on her a bit though.
Absolutely nothing to do with you as a client and all about her unprofessional, selfish behaviour.

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 27/05/2024 21:28

CharDee · 27/05/2024 21:25

I am ok thank you. I know it's a really stupid thing to be upset about but I'm just a bit low at the moment and it has knocked me a bit.

It's not stupid it's totally understandable. I've been with my hairdresser since I was 16, if he crapped on me like this I'd be hurt too. You my darling, are a lovely person and it is her loss xx

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Icehockeyflowers · 27/05/2024 21:34

You sound lovely OP.
Once you get your refund, I'd leave a review saying she is unreliable and untrustworthy and that you were a member of a wedding party and she let you down by going on holidays while telling you she was in A&E. That is factual and it will help other people as they won't book her for an important occasion if there is any chance of her being flaky. Hit her where it hurts - her reputation and her pocket.

eggplant16 · 27/05/2024 21:38

Zero integrity. Sad

Somepeoplearesnippy · 27/05/2024 21:40

Good hairdressers (like good cleaners ) are hard to find. Give her a chance here.

Message her along the lines of 'wires seem to have been crossed,, your DH said you were ill but FB says you were on a hen (attach photo). What's going on ?!'
See what she says and then decide whether you want to continue with her or ask for your deposit back.

PurplePink45 · 27/05/2024 21:41

I'd ask for my deposit refund now and just say you really need the money this month so will just pay as normal next month.

Then I would make her think that I was going to her next appointment but just not show up.

If she asks why, I'd tell her!

flyingwingsabove · 27/05/2024 21:41

I think your response to her is fair OP. She’s been caught out. Hopefully she will admit, apologise and refund your cash.

Grendacious · 27/05/2024 21:41

The trouble is that while you're probably a wonderful client and not one she's trying to get rid of, you are just another client. And if she does her job well she probably has a lot of great clients. Whereas she is your only hairdresser. So even though you see each other for the same amount of time, the relationship has more significance for you as it's tipped heavily in that direction. Her behaviour is awful though, and a sure fire way to lose your clients. I'd place money on her forgetting to tell you and then chickening out of being honest because she didn't actually want to lose you.

OutOfTheHouse · 27/05/2024 21:44

Poor you op. I’d feel so let down and take it really personally. I can’t believe she didn’t even apologise.

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 27/05/2024 21:44

Then I would make her think that I was going to her next appointment but just not show up.

We all know the OP won't do this because she's better than that and won't stoop to this level.

BirthdayRainbow · 27/05/2024 21:44

Zombiemama84 · 27/05/2024 21:21

Book an appointment with her and loudly for all to hear tell her that you saw the pictures of her on the hen do when her 'husband' text you saying she was in a&e

Don't do this.

Icehockeyflowers · 27/05/2024 21:50

The thing is with people like the hairdresser, even though they have shown they have no integrity themselves, they fully expect others not to treat them as badly themselves.
To be honest, I'd leave factual reviews all over the internet outlining what she did. Then its up to others as to whether they will take the risk of booking her. Reading reviews like that would certainly make me think twice before booking her.

SparkyBlue · 27/05/2024 21:59

OutOfTheHouse · 27/05/2024 21:44

Poor you op. I’d feel so let down and take it really personally. I can’t believe she didn’t even apologise.

This. As a long time client I'd feel quite hurt. I'd want to be able to brush it off but I'd actually be quite upset. I had an event last week and had professional family photos taken. If my hair and make up has cancelled last minute I'd have been really upset. That might sound shallow but it is what it is.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 27/05/2024 22:04

CharDee · 27/05/2024 14:00

We have a reply!

“Heyy, sure I’ll send the refund over when I’m back. Need to double check how much it was you sent. Are you rearranging your next appointment?”

I’ve replied

“Thank you. It was £50 for the appointment you cancelled on Saturday and it was £30 for my upcoming appointment. The screenshots of the payments I made are in this chat, just above the messages from you last Sunday confirming my appointment and from your husband, late on Friday night, to tell me you were ill and had to cancel my appointment.

I will be rearranging my appointment with a different hairdresser, I’m afraid. As good as you are as a hairdresser and MUA, I’m not sure even in your best health you would have been able to style my hair and do my makeup to a good enough standard from a plane on its way to Ibiza.

Let me know when you’ve transferred the money back."

Ugh I hate people who say ‘Heyy’ - like ‘look at me, I’m so fun and cool!’ 🙄

good response op, hope you get a refund and find a more reliable hairdresser! I’m sure you looked lovely but I would have felt the same.

CornishTiger · 27/05/2024 22:07

Your messages are spot on and dignified. Well done you!

Gazelda · 27/05/2024 22:08

I'm not surprised this has knocked you. It stings when someone disrespects you, and to do it on a special occasion is particularly nasty.

But it reflects far worse on her. You are loved by someone who wanted you to be part of her bridal party. Your DH obviously adores you and your DN was delighted to help him to give you a boost. Revel in the people (including your DS) who love you. There a reason why you're important to so many.

Oblomov24 · 27/05/2024 22:11

Only a nice person like you OP would think this way. Please don't. You are too nice for this.
Take comfort, we are all 100% Mn agreed.

LadyChilli · 27/05/2024 22:28

“Thank you. It was £50 for the appointment you cancelled on Saturday and it was £30 for my upcoming appointment. The screenshots of the payments I made are in this chat, just above the messages from you last Sunday confirming my appointment and from your husband, late on Friday night, to tell me you were ill and had to cancel my appointment.

I will be rearranging my appointment with a different hairdresser, I’m afraid. As good as you are as a hairdresser and MUA, I’m not sure even in your best health you would have been able to style my hair and do my makeup to a good enough standard from a plane on its way to Ibiza.

Let me know when you’ve transferred the money back."

This is one of the classiest things I've ever read on mumsnet ❤️ Her flakiness will be nothing to do with you, you sound like the perfect customer so please remember this is entirely about the type of person she is and not you. She's a rude bitch and deserves a bad review and then not one more second of your head space

BirthdayRainbow · 27/05/2024 22:42

Even her message is showing she's not understanding how wrong she is. Let me check, are you rebooking, all to make you back down.

drusth · 27/05/2024 23:01

Do you think it’s possible that she may not pay you back?

If she thinks she’s lost you as a client anyway she may just as spin it as you refusing another appointment and therefore she keeps the money.

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 27/05/2024 23:29

If she is at all defensive or just refunds your deposits without a word PLEASE realise that that says everything about her and is no reflection on you. People are more defensive when they are guilty/feeling guilty/been caught out than they are when they haven’t done anything wrong! Also, whenever I have moved hairdressers (for whatever reason) I find one I like more and wonder why I hadn’t moved before. I hope the same for you.

Your niece and husband sound like treasures and you must be fab too to have a family like you have, so I think I know who’s winning at life, and it’s not the liar in Ibiza!

DifficultBloodyWoman · 27/05/2024 23:36

CharDee · 27/05/2024 14:00

We have a reply!

“Heyy, sure I’ll send the refund over when I’m back. Need to double check how much it was you sent. Are you rearranging your next appointment?”

I’ve replied

“Thank you. It was £50 for the appointment you cancelled on Saturday and it was £30 for my upcoming appointment. The screenshots of the payments I made are in this chat, just above the messages from you last Sunday confirming my appointment and from your husband, late on Friday night, to tell me you were ill and had to cancel my appointment.

I will be rearranging my appointment with a different hairdresser, I’m afraid. As good as you are as a hairdresser and MUA, I’m not sure even in your best health you would have been able to style my hair and do my makeup to a good enough standard from a plane on its way to Ibiza.

Let me know when you’ve transferred the money back."

That is an excellent message. Well done! And hugs!

DifficultBloodyWoman · 27/05/2024 23:43

Grendacious · 27/05/2024 21:41

The trouble is that while you're probably a wonderful client and not one she's trying to get rid of, you are just another client. And if she does her job well she probably has a lot of great clients. Whereas she is your only hairdresser. So even though you see each other for the same amount of time, the relationship has more significance for you as it's tipped heavily in that direction. Her behaviour is awful though, and a sure fire way to lose your clients. I'd place money on her forgetting to tell you and then chickening out of being honest because she didn't actually want to lose you.

This is very true and got me thinking about my own hairdresser. She is awesome. I do see her as a trusted friend and confidante but I am sure I am just another client to her.

Irishmama100 · 27/05/2024 23:45

CharDee · 27/05/2024 21:25

I am ok thank you. I know it's a really stupid thing to be upset about but I'm just a bit low at the moment and it has knocked me a bit.

@CharDee you are so entitled to be annoyed and this is sooo not stupid to react the way you have. I would be devastated as a guest never mind bridal party.
You were a good customer and have got treated like crap.