People on their high horse cos they don't post on social media.

[slideawayy]

Was reading a post yesterday about whether or not people post holiday photos on their social media, and have seen lots of other similar discussions.

I really get the vibe that people who don't post think they are somehow a step above those who do?

Last night I was at a friends of a friends house, she never ever posts on social media but was gossiping and bitching about what she sees and sniggering at people who always bit photos up of their days out etc.

This is what social media is for?!?! To share photos and thoughts of your own social goings on?! For the love of god if you don't like it don't follow these people. Stop nosying at my bloody stories, if I wanna let y'all know I'm enjoying a pina colada in the sunshine I will!

The same way a lot of benefit cheats are caught - by friends and family who are sick of hearing the bragging reporting them, with the Facebook evidence to back it up.

Mumsnet is social media. Everyone posting here details of their lives is posting about their lives on SM. Everyone reading posts here is CHOOSING to read about other people's lives on SM.

and OMG, if you don't like what someone posts on SM then unfollow / unfriend. It's horrible that you can't be happy for them or interested in their lives, but whatever. That's on you, not them.

Or as my dad would say ... "Just log off? If you don't like it, don't go there, why is this difficult?"

Exactly. My dad says ‘if you don’t like music, leave the band’

Exactly!

But none of the anti Facebook brigade admit that posting on here is no different to posting on there 😂

Positing pictures on social media is showing off.

What a miserable view of life!

Going out wearing expensive clothes or driving a nice car is also "showing off". So what?

I love keeping up with people on Facebook whom I don't know well enough any more, or care enough about, to actually need to speak to them in real life, but am interested in what became of them etc (e.g. school friends I haven't seen in 40 years, but am still interested in pics of their children's weddings, graduations, births of their grandchildren etc). If they aren't interested in mine they don't have to look at them. Easy.

It's not at all like the old "forcing people to sit in a darkened room looking at your holiday snaps". It's entirely voluntary, and one can pick and choose exactly how much you want to look at or engage with. I have precisely no family or real life friends in the country I live in, and I enjoy keeping in contact with groups of people, including sharing pictures of my children with my family. If showing people who might be interested in it a flattering picture of my smiling DD graduating from uni (while they also have the option to not look at it at all, and I will never know if they did or didn't) is "showing off" then so be it, I am more than happy to show off.

It's completely different because it's anonymous and full of fantasist trolls, so (1) no one is seeing the social events/holidays/household renovations of their actual friends/cousins/neighbours, and (2) most people are well aware that anything posted on Mn could well be 100% invented.

All the Sturm und Drang of SM, as it shows up on here ('I feel inadequate because my friend has a beautiful extension/just holidayed in St Barts/a tummy tuck/ a child who just won a scholarship/Olympic medal!' or 'My boyfriend's FB still says 'single'/doesn't mention me' or 'My oldest friend didn't invite me to her party/to be her bridesmaid/to be her baby's godmother!') is about 98% because it involves actual people the poster knows and compares herself with. The other 2% is dimwit influencer stuff.

I also get a lot of benefit from local groups, where people freecycle things, recommend tradespeople, find lost pets etc etc. And as I have described upthread, we use FB as a very effective motivator for our autistic DS to engage in things like community activities and sports. I wish people would think a bit before they get all high horsy about "social media". We're not all posting trout pout selfies in the bathroom or photos of our lunch.

so don't subscribe/friend/follow those people? it isn't rocket surgery.

What, always? Every single time?

Good thing you never have to see it if you don't like it then, isn't it?

Sometimes it is but not always.

I have a massive extended family and some judicious posting of photos of family events on Facebook is the easiest way of keeping everyone in the loop, some quite elderly and not very tech savvy with desk top computers but not mobile phones for example.

Do you really not think the rest of social media is full of fantasists and trolls too @TheShadowyThird? Facebook and TikTok are both horrendous for it - look at all the people who fell for that very obvious Seasalt scam for starters!

Yes, MN is anonymous but I wish people would stop acting like it's somehow better than Facebook because of it.

The tedious, moralistic, superior diatribes against social media are just as performative and self-aggrandising, really...and at least someone sharing holiday pics isn't trying to tear anyone else down.

It's been around for nearly 20 years. Have people still not made peace with its existence or figured out how to use it if they keep seeing stuff they hate? It's got to be a user issue by this point.

I share quite a lot on social media. And I love seeing my friends share stuff on social media too.

The whole point of social media is to share, otherwise it would be boring!!

If people don't like sharing, or like seeing other people share things, (which is a perfectly valid preference by the way), then why are they even on social media if all they do is moan about people sharing things!! 🙄😂

I have no idea, I don't use FB, and I use Instagram only for following arts organisations etc. But I assume that you will at least recognise if your friends are posting fake holiday pictures, or your neighbour's jazzy new extension is curiously invisible from the road?

i don't think "showing off" is awful though. I have a friend who constantly posts things that make my eyes roll and i occasionally put them on mute for 30 days. But i keep them on my SM because they live in a different country, have some MH issues, and it is a way to make sure they are ok.

I use mine as a bit of a diary too (fb mostly) so when we're at footy I'll do a selfie, a home end, away end and the scoreboard as goals come in. I literally don't care if people like or comment (they do) and my mum and i have a running gag (since the selfies of us in our shirts and scarves and with/without a hat are obviously similar) that she'll say "oh photo 6, haven't seen that in a while"

Insta? yep, I'll post what i have been making in the sewing room or shed, plants etc. and i follow accounts that post interesting photos.

But all this "oh moi? i don't do sm" or "so she added me on sm but she'd just a bitch" - just leave. Read a book or something.

It's just like saying "television is boring/annoying". You have the option to either watch something different which does interest you, or not watch at all, so this is just meaningless.

MN is not akin to the meaning people apply when referring to FB, IG - yes it is a form of social media, but it is not the same to use an internet forum as to use FB/IG (where you follow/friend a person and see all their updates, where the people you follow/are friends with are known to you in real life social circles too).

Tbh, while nobody likes a constant boaster, I don't think people should feel they can never share anything happy or that they're proud of with others in their voluntary network. I think it's rather mean spirited always to look to the worst possible interpretation when someone shares some good news. If you really don't care, you know what to do!

That's so sad that you view it like that. Granted some people may well be but my friends aren't show offs, they may be sharing a nice walk or a day out. Why is that showing off? I love seeing what they're up to because they're my friends you know 🤨

MN is a forum like Reddit, Digital Spy, Tattle, etc. Facebook and Instagram are SM. Forums are generally anonymous.

Honestly for me it's the no of selfies. Me in front of restaurant a, now in front of restaurant b, now in front of restaurant c etc for 14 days ! Often with duck face! They're just no need !

Couple of Me in front of pyramids or nice view somewhere perfect. We don't need 50 photos!

But you say keeping up with friends - what are they posting on there that you wouldn’t have a better talk about, or even a more open talk about, if you just picked up the phone or met up?

I'm busy, and I live hundreds of miles away from most of my friends. Lots of them are former colleagues or old university friends who I like a lot but am not especially close to. Phoning them out of the blue for a chat would be weird. Making a comment on their photos or their posts is a nice, low-stakes way of keeping in touch a bit. Sometimes a comment develops into a bit of a chat, which is nice.