People on their high horse cos they don't post on social media.

[slideawayy]

Was reading a post yesterday about whether or not people post holiday photos on their social media, and have seen lots of other similar discussions.

I really get the vibe that people who don't post think they are somehow a step above those who do?

Last night I was at a friends of a friends house, she never ever posts on social media but was gossiping and bitching about what she sees and sniggering at people who always bit photos up of their days out etc.

This is what social media is for?!?! To share photos and thoughts of your own social goings on?! For the love of god if you don't like it don't follow these people. Stop nosying at my bloody stories, if I wanna let y'all know I'm enjoying a pina colada in the sunshine I will!

1 or 2 photos I can get on board with but when sally posts 56 photos of her trip to Benidorm I just think this is like sitting through a holiday slide show and I just don't fucking care.

People I know who don’t post on social media don’t use it at all. I’d say those who don’t post but browse others posts are in the minority and just like sniggering at others generally and aren’t very nice people. Luckily none of my friends are like this.

If you don't use social media how do you know what others are posting?

I don't post very often, and when I do it's pictures of my art or baking creations, but I scroll through most days whilst having my morning coffee. If it's ads or generic posts I just scroll on by, if it's stuff from family or friends I just glance or like, occasionally I'll comment.

There's no stress, I look at what I want to look at (tasty recipes 👍🏻), and ignore the rest. There's no difference at all from mindlessly scrolling on fb to mindlessly scrolling on here.

Alternatively, if you have a problem with negative comments about pictures of your dinner or your hot dog legs by the pool, don't post them on social media. By posting online you're inviting a conversation about the content, a conversation you cannot control. If you can't handle the heat and all that...

My partner is one of those who thinks they are on another level of cool by regularly saying to me, if I mention something on Facebook, oh I don't know anything about that as I very rarely go on it these days... with a somewhat superior look - urgh I think!

I think social media is for :
Boasting! Lying and selling things also.

But you must know that lots of people use it just to keep up with friends? I must have a very different social media feed from you. If any of the people I follow were boasting, lying or selling things (except for actual shops and craftspeople etc that I choose to follow because they sell things), I'd just unfollow them!

Just switch off then @Screamingabdabz and @SquashPenguin?
I have an FB friend (I don't know her hardly at all but she's good friends with my sister) who doesn't post one but 65 pics of the same walk she does most days. The first two or three pics are nice but... so hey I don't click on them! I scroll on by. Easy peasy.
Other friends who post a few from their once in a lifetime trip to Australia or baby's first Christmas I'm happy to look at those.
For sure some are more engaging than others, and fortunately we all have the ability to ignore those we aren't interested in. Plus I am not 'friends' with all and sundry, so most people are happy to see the odd pic from me, as I am from them as they are not people I see often due to distance.

Agree with this.

Social media isn’t “for” sharing things with others, that’s what conversation and meet-ups do. Social media is to make billions of dollars for shareholders and to make our lives, info and identities the product, while convincing us that if we aren’t producing content for them then we’re rude, reclusive, and anti-social.

Even though every bit of evidence and research shows that SM is bad for mental health, self esteem, creativity and social bonds.

Agree with this. It's a shame.

But you say keeping up with friends - what are they posting on there that you wouldn’t have a better talk about, or even a more open talk about, if you just picked up the phone or met up? The whole point of SM is that it shows a highly curated view of our lives, the best/most glam/funniest/most special times. It’s like watching the lives of loved ones on fast forward, and it feels shallow and sad.

I write this as someone who used to be completely addicted to SM, went through a v difficult complete cold turkey, and found my life and mental health has improved immeasurably since staying off it. I’m still in contact with my friends and have better relationships than before.

This. I mean, no one cares. No one. At best, people just feel forced to pretend they care.

I use mine as a sort of photo diary and extra "cloud" for my favourite photos. I love looking back through it, as do my kids. Their favourites are holidays from years gone by. Some posts are just a bit of a "photo dump" but I custom share those so only I (or immediate family) can view them. I also hide my posts if I think I've been posting too much and risk being a bore.

If anyone isn't interested they can hide/unfriend/scroll past, I don't care.

I also find it a really useful way of setting up events or finding out about/joining/following other local events.

Fair enough if people don't want to use social media but it's a bit off to go on social media and then moan about people posting on it. That's what it is! If you don't like the view, don't look.

The only posts I don't like are the constantly negative ones or ones that make me concerned about someone's mental health or wellbeing. For example one person on my feed posts every couple of weeks about how hurt she is about being dumped by her ex fiancé... this was 5 years ago! Another acquaintance posted a lot of rambling, revealing posts and then disappeared. She had had a major breakdown and her children were removed. I suppose the only "good" thing was that the posts drew attention to her plight and she and her children got the help they needed.

One of the school mums does lots of boasty posts posing in Chelsea cocktail bars and showing off new handbags. But in real life she's always begging school for extra time to pay for school trips and other parents for lifts as she can't afford to learn how to drive. I found it amusing at first but I'm now quite uncomfortable about her delusions of grandeur and wonder what else her kids are going without.

I don’t agree with this. But maybe our SM feeds are very different? I rejoice in the fact that it has kept me in touch with friends all around the world who I would have lost touch with long ago if I had tried to keep up with them via any other means. I love to see the pictures of other people ‘s lives, the small triumphs, and the family photos… The births and marriages and university graduations. I have a lot of close friends and I lived abroad for long periods of my life so it’s all very handy and I would say necessary for me. I feel like I have a small insight in to their lives but also recognise that FB doesn’t always show the truth. From time to time I drop messages to check they are okay and have more in-depth chats. I scroll by anything I am not interested in but there’s lots of good stuff too, art groups, interesting cultural pages and like-minded people making small differences in my community. I live very rurally so it feels like even if I don’t get to see people as regularly as I like I can be a part of their lives via SM as much or as little as I like. I have to say I do not get involved in reels or tik tok or click bait stuff. I just scroll past. I also keep a very tight friend list so only my very close and old friends that mean something to me. No acquaintances or school mums etc….

I think social media can be great if you're very strict and sensible and do not use it in the way it was designed. I have an Instagram account, I do not post anything on there. I do not follow anyone I know in real life. I follow gardening accounts and yoga teachers. It is purely there for improving my hobbies and brings me joy. But again I'm still influenced into buying plants so I can see where the danger lies. It's advertising. If young girls follow lots of clothes/beauty influences you can end up spending a fortune!

I use social media to post photos as I’m too lazy to create physical photo albums. I’d be toast if it ever went down 🥴

I think this is tied to extrovert/introvert.

I have friends who post a lot. I rarely post anything. I’m an introvert and don’t really want to tell people everything.

I feel it happened a bit after covid hit….everythibg changed 2/3 years ago…weird. Everything feels less personal and the connection is gone on Ig and Fb, it’s sad really as it’s becoming pointless and not what it was originally all about

I don't use SM. The logical conclusion to draw from my choice is that I think SM is net negative, if I thought it was net positive I would want to use it.

It can be very difficult to discuss SM without upsetting those who use it - just the act of not using it can be perceived as a direct criticism.

I would care. And congratulations @ControlShiftDelete ! Tell the world! Did you have a boy or a girl? Do you have one of each now or a boy and a girl? 👶👶

Showing off.

I agree with you. There's definitely a sense of superiority there but I have to admit I do judge people who share every detail of their lives. I have a friend who documents her every move on Facebook "Just checking in to Starbucks with my friend" etc. Great, good for you. We all needed to know that. I have another friend with 4 adult children who I've never met. I know every detail of her children's lives - their relationship problems, their health problems, the fact that one is being bullied for being obese. Enough!! Allow them some privacy! Another friend I went to school with details every row he has with his grown up kids, saying how hurt he is, how their grandparents would be turning in their graves etc.
I use social media in moderation. I occasionally share a couple of photos if I've been somewhere particularly interesting or beautiful.

@Apparationsaythemoment

Knock yourself out then love. Post all the pics you like of your shiny holiday all over your social media, when you're away and your home is empty. I think you are massively overrating how much I care.

@mondaytosunday I only use Facebook for music/ dog videos/ cake decorating etc. It’s the assumption that people are interested in 45 million repeated holiday/ baby/ selfie pictures that irks me. They are the ones who need to come off their high horses! It’s embarrassing.

You can't really follow someone's account, check out their content and then sneer at them for thinking you might be interested.

Believe it or not there are plenty of numpties who have their Facebook completely open to all and sundry and given most insurance companies penchant for trying to wriggle out of paying out on the minutest of loopholes, why take the risk? Just post your pics when you get back!!