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Original poster

So so so shit

193 replies

NooNakedJacuzziness · 09/05/2024 18:31

Waiting for my Dad to die and I can't do this. Pancreatic cancer spread to liver, he's so uncomfortable and they can't do anything to help him now. This is beyond distressing - you would put an animal to sleep. Just wanted to vent - he doesn't deserve it.

OP posts:
Getonwitit · 10/05/2024 10:38

What you are doing is not easy but your Dad will take comfort from you being by his side. Sending love and strength and i hope the end is near.Flowers

Original poster
NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/05/2024 10:39

FoxtrotSkarloey · 10/05/2024 10:14

I'm so sorry OP. Nothing is worse than feeling helpless at a time like this. Please just keep calling and asking for the support you need.

Have they discussed a syringe driver?

Yes, that's being sorted out this morning thankfully

OP posts:
PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 10/05/2024 12:30

This must be terrible for you all.
Im thinking of you too OP.
I pray he is still comfortable & sleeping.

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SingingSands · 10/05/2024 12:36

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You're right, it's so shit and tough.

DH sat for days with his dying dad and he said that the end was very peaceful and felt like a relief. I wish that for your dad, a peaceful passing with loved ones watching over him.

Sending love x

Original poster
NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/05/2024 21:01

He's nearly done now I think. He hasn't spoken since last night and every breath is laboured. I hope there aren't any more horrible surprises to come tonight, we're just about holding it together

OP posts:
HumphreysCorner · 10/05/2024 21:03

Thinking of you x

wizzler · 10/05/2024 21:06

Sending best wishes ... it's an awful time ..

jumpingjacksss · 10/05/2024 21:16

Hugs

Jeannie88 · 10/05/2024 21:17

I'm so sorry and relate. Surely there must be palliative care for him now, so whatever it takes to make him as comfortable as possible? Xx

TwilightSkies · 10/05/2024 21:19

Big hugs OP ❤️❤️ I hope it’s peaceful for all of you x

Original poster
NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/05/2024 21:25

We called a nurse again and she's given him another injection to try and help. They said no point in syringe driver now which was a bit annoying so we just call them when we think he needs them. Seems a bit counter productive to me but hey.

OP posts:
Letmegetoff · 10/05/2024 21:32

They usually set up the syringe driver after stat doses have been given a few times and are being needed more and more frequently. Sometimes the out of hours teams just don't have the time to do it though and it has to wait until the day nurses are back on shift

petalpower · 10/05/2024 21:33

So sorry you’re go in though this OP. Thinking of you, your family and especially your father.

TeaPleaseX · 10/05/2024 21:35

It's so horrible. My uncle had the same. They told him at first how "lucky" he was and that they could remove it and he'd be fine. No it was terminal and from date of diagnosis he got nearly a year from it. He died 6 days before his 61st birthday.
He just woke up one day bright yellow with back pain. Never ever thought he'd go like that. It's such a bastard and so cruel.
Miss him so much. In his last days he didn't talk at all and his breathing was really bad. Then he randomly woke up sat up! had a few gulps of water said hello to us all, then Fell into a coma and that was it. 🥺.

BirthdayRainbow · 10/05/2024 21:38

I am so sorry you are going through this. You are right that a vet would handle this differently. My Nana suffered and died alone as the only relative didn't pick up the phone so I'm pleased for your dad he has you. Take care of yourself and then you can care for him too 💐

itsgettingweird · 10/05/2024 21:45

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My mum died of cancer 2 years ago and the last 48 hours were hell but she went to sleep for a good 30 hours before she passed away and it was peaceful in the end.

What made my mum comfortable was having a catheter fitted and also we asked the nurses to stop turning her (it's protocol for bedsores) in the end because it distressed her and long term it wasn't going to matter to her (as awful as that sounds).

Look after yourself. Flowers

Objectrelations · 10/05/2024 22:38

I sat with my mum who was dying of
liver cancer in January.

It took a month in hospice and was excruciatingly profound, stressful and sad.

The pain relief really was great once they got it right though and she had what seemed like a good death. I missed her actual passing as I had gone home for a few hours sleep but the nurses said it was peaceful right at the end. I hope for you and him he has the same end.

Custard14 · 10/05/2024 22:44

Ago, so sorry you’re dealing with this. I am too. My dad is also dying. He is in hospital with secondary cancer. My dad is yellow too. It’s so horrific, no one should have to suffer like this - and my dad is fully aware of what’s happening. It will be a relief when it’s over and I hate myself for even thinking that 😢.

Superstoria · 10/05/2024 23:00

Thinking of you tonight OP.

Unknownuser2046789 · 10/05/2024 23:04

Thinking of you and massive hand hold. ❤️

Whisperingsummerishere · 10/05/2024 23:06

Can you play his favourite songs op? When my best friend's dm was near the end we played her Johnny Matthis.. The nurses said she could find comfort in this. My friend surely did. One last thing for her dm.
Sorry this is such a rubbish time op.

Loubelle70 · 10/05/2024 23:13

Love sent OP. ♥️

Lougle · 10/05/2024 23:34

I hope you all have a more peaceful night. It's a horrible time for you all.

Lightfrost · 11/05/2024 00:35

Sending you a gentle hug. Hope he's comfortable and peaceful this evening.

Original poster
NooNakedJacuzziness · 11/05/2024 01:17

Sorry to hear all of your sad stories, let's hope one day this awful disease can be a thing of the past. Thanks to all of you for sharing, sorry I'm not name checking you all but been a hectic few days.

The bastard hiccups have abated and he seems quite comfy at the moment (hope I'm not jinxing things - my heart sinks everytime I hear a HIIICCC) Sad

OP posts: