So so so shit

[NooNakedJacuzziness]

Waiting for my Dad to die and I can't do this. Pancreatic cancer spread to liver, he's so uncomfortable and they can't do anything to help him now. This is beyond distressing - you would put an animal to sleep. Just wanted to vent - he doesn't deserve it.

Yes @Letmegetoff - he has the bag of meds

Yes absolutely sound like he may need some midazalam in a syringe driver.

My mum passed from endometrial cancer a few years ago. She was agitated and uncomfortable but not in agony so when we asked for more pain relief they said that anything else they could give her would basically make her sleep and we wouldn't get to talk to her again. We (and she) decided that as long as she was mostly lucid we wanted to be able to communicate. There was a point when she wasn't in her right mind anymore and it was then that they gave her something that sedated her completely. She didn't really come to after that and died about 3 days later in hospice. I'm very glad we had that time together even though it was also really hard. We even managed a few good laughs, which is the thing i miss the most about her.

That's all just to say there might be a reason they aren't giving him any more medications just now but you'll know best if it's too much for him to bear.

Sending and internet hugs.

This takes me back to my Mum’s last days. It was exhausting. When my time comes, if I can’t chose when to end my life I want all the fucking drugs. My Mum was given midazalam when she became agitated at end of life when in hospital. It instantly calmed her but from then on she didn’t talk and this is apparently very common. She could hear, whenever I said I was going to wet her lips she responded by opening her mouth for a good 12 hours after that.

I hope you’re DF gets some relief and if possible I hope you can get yourself 20 - 30 mins fresh air OP.

Sorry you had this too @Lightfrost - wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy

Love to all who've been here too

I'm so sorry. Pancreatic cancer got my dad too, nearly 7 years ago. The worst thing someone said to me was 'at least you got to say goodbye', as her dad died suddenly. Nope, for him, I'd much rather he had a quick and sudden death. Until you go through this, you don't realise how awful it is to see a loved one go through
💜

Thinking of you and your dad 💐 It is so insanely distressing seeing someone you love in pain. Know it seems trite but you being there with him will be helping, even though it might not feel like it is.

I’m so very sorry you’re having to endure this. I too lost my father, in our case to prostate cancer. This is by far the worst part because you just feel so helpless. I hope your father’s pain passes soon xx

Could you phone the palliative care team and ask to up his morphine dose? Is he in a syringe driver?

💐
So sorry op . It is so horrible , but you're there for your dad and that's so important.
Take care

Nurse is coming out to see him this eve, asked if we had all the special meds so fingers crossed.

Thank you all for being there

It might be time for a morphine driver. There's often a cocktail of meds in them to make sure your poor Dad can rest & be comfortable. All the best, I was with my Ddad when he died at home, it's so heartbreaking and exhausting xx

I was in your place 2 years ago when my dad died from liver cancer. He had the hiccups too, he found them really distressing. It was so hard to watch.
He had a morphine driver and was given promazine for the agitation.
I think after the driver was fitter, we had 2 days before he passed away.
I wish I'd had the chance to talk to him more while he was still coherent, there was so much I wanted to say to him but as soon as they increased his morphine, he was asleep until he died.

Sorry you are going through this. Handholding. Its the worst.
i kept repeating ‘this is only temporary’ to myself over and over again.
Once they gave him the right meds it was like he went into a deep sleep. I felt much calmer by that stage, and just sat with him until he slipped away. It was so peaceful.
I hope they come to out ASAP and give your dad exactly what he needs xxx

Been there ❤️

Just offering a handhold

Been there

We're all here for you night and day

Ask them to sedate so comfy

Sending so many hugs imz

Thanks - I just wish they'd hurry. He's twitching and doesn't seem right mentally now.

Don't be afraid to chase the nurses up, we honestly never mind taking calls like this, believe me we get calls for much much less urgent things.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I hope it won’t last too long ❤️

In the meantime ask for as many drugs as he’s allowed to help him sleep through it 💐

I'm so sorry. It's why dying with dignity should be a thing. 💔

Bless you all. It is heartbreaking. And yes I totally agree, we wouldn't let an animal go through this. I really hope the nurse can help you to sort some additional medication. When my late former partner was dying, he was given large doses of morphine and some kind of tranquilliser. He fell asleep and drifted away, and that was the kindest thing under the circumstances.

I hope you can take some comfort from the fact that you have been there with your dad right until the end. I am sure it comforts him.

Lots of love ❤️

Just rang to see where they are - "they'll be with you as soon as possible". I know it's not their fault but come on please

You feel so powerless, don't you? A tight handhold to you OP. My partner died of liver cancer, in hospital at Bart's at the end, but I was there, and still needed to keep chasing the nurses. 20 years ago but still painful. The final stages are so hard to bear 🥀