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CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

990 replies

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 15:24

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
BananaBender · 20/05/2024 08:51

Another Australian here waiting for the update.

@YaMuvva I hope that it goes smoothly and your DH and DB can reclaim your land without Babs or Penfold being PITAs. Hope that your recovery is going well.

A livestream would be awesome!

Dexterrolledoffthesofa · 20/05/2024 08:55

Today's the day!! Hoping it goes smoothly and she buggers off without incident, but also kind of hoping she doesn't so Mr YaMuvva gets to kick Babs' butt. (Not literally. Although.....🤣)

MermaidMummy06 · 20/05/2024 08:58

Aanndd another Australian hoping for an update before bed time!

Othersideofworld · 20/05/2024 09:03

Yep, Sydney Australia here, it’s definitely a global thread!

AwBlessm · 20/05/2024 09:08

This is the biggest thing happening in my life this week. What does that say about me? 🤔It's...it's fine. I'm sure it's fine.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 20/05/2024 09:18

AwBlessm · 20/05/2024 09:08

This is the biggest thing happening in my life this week. What does that say about me? 🤔It's...it's fine. I'm sure it's fine.

My 14 yo ds was agog for updates too!

WickedSerious · 20/05/2024 09:23

It's B Day!!

Candyflosscrochet · 20/05/2024 09:39

Have followed the whole thread and fed back to the family over dinner on every development!
Keeping fingers crossed she's off today and hasn't set up a picket line with penfold and the rest of the last of the summer wine cast!!!

MinnieGirl · 20/05/2024 09:46

My husband has just rolled his eyes when I reminded him it was allotment eviction day….

AwBlessm · 20/05/2024 10:06

MinnieGirl · 20/05/2024 09:46

My husband has just rolled his eyes when I reminded him it was allotment eviction day….

LTB!

mrsbyers · 20/05/2024 10:07

Can’t wait for next update 😃

viques · 20/05/2024 10:09

DaMuvva pushed her Stetson back from her sweating face and narrowed her steely eyes.The silver Star pinned to her best dressing gown glinted in the early morning sun and her spurs jangled as she adjusted her surgical stockings to a more comfortable position. She spoke.

“See here, Mz Babs, this here allotment malarkey ain’t the first time you’ve tried to assert yo rights to someone else’s claim is it? This here wanted poster says you and your sidekick, Penfold Pete, have previous for musclin’ in on a whole cahoot of doggone claims from parkin’ spaces, supermarket trollies, post office queues, the window seat in the cafe, and a whole lot more. I ain’t gonna argue the toss Mz Babs, seems to me your past has caught up with the two of youse and it all stops now, here, today. As my good friend Marshal Wayne says, this allotment ain’t big enough for the two of us. Now, as you can see Deputy Prettyboi and his posse of mountainy men, all wearing’ their best leather chaps and spotted hankies for the occasion, have brung their wagon and a whole caboose of mules into town so as you and Penfold Pete can load up your goods and chattels and high tail it out of the territory pretty darn quick.”

Mz Babs tossed her raddled curls in a final act of defiance and started to speak, but Sheriff DaMuvva held up her manicured hand , “ The time for speaking’ is passed Mz Babs, long passed.”

There was a gasp from the surrounding townsfolk and casual passers by as the sheriff slowly reached into her holster.

“ I got me a spare screwdriver here, fully charged and ready to go, and I ain’t afraid to use it if that there shed ain’t dismantled into firewood by the time I’ve had my second cup of Joe” The sheriff raised the screwdriver up high and in the sun it glinted like the sword of righteous redemption. Amen.

heldinadream · 20/05/2024 10:36

@YaMuvva we're here and we're all agog for the denouement. Grin

artant · 20/05/2024 10:51

I think today is the last day for Babs to move her stuff. It’s tomorrow that Pretty Boy finally gets to reclaim the plot of land.

pollymere · 20/05/2024 11:01

Hopefully she won't set fire to the Shed. My brain has Muriel's Wedding in 😱.

OVienna · 20/05/2024 11:02

It's 11 now!

MrsLeonFarrell · 20/05/2024 11:31

It's a pity we can't ask Babs if there is anything she would like to say to the worldwide audience for her eviction.

BusyMummy001 · 20/05/2024 11:51

Was just thinking that if Babs doesn’t take her shed, as it’s on your land, OP, it becomes yours? If it’s half decent, I’d be tempted to paint it a cool colour and hang a ‘Pretty Boi’s Rum Shack’ sign on it!

🍹☀️

MRSRUDEBOX · 20/05/2024 11:51

Eek. Today's the day. Cannot wait for the update. I have loved these threads @YaMuvva

BresciaBike · 20/05/2024 11:58

It's like Christmas Eve!

Toooldforthis36 · 20/05/2024 12:04
Happy Little Girl GIF by Demic

Over invested in tomorrow!

LardoBurrows · 20/05/2024 13:00

Thank you @viques. I've just read that aloud (to myself) in my best Texan/Home Counties accent and amused myself tremendously.

It's the little things 😊.

Silvers11 · 20/05/2024 13:58

I too am waiting with bated breath for the update, but guess it might be tomorrow

@YaMuvva I hope you are beginning to recover from your op and Babs does go without further bother

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 20/05/2024 14:00

viques · 20/05/2024 10:09

DaMuvva pushed her Stetson back from her sweating face and narrowed her steely eyes.The silver Star pinned to her best dressing gown glinted in the early morning sun and her spurs jangled as she adjusted her surgical stockings to a more comfortable position. She spoke.

“See here, Mz Babs, this here allotment malarkey ain’t the first time you’ve tried to assert yo rights to someone else’s claim is it? This here wanted poster says you and your sidekick, Penfold Pete, have previous for musclin’ in on a whole cahoot of doggone claims from parkin’ spaces, supermarket trollies, post office queues, the window seat in the cafe, and a whole lot more. I ain’t gonna argue the toss Mz Babs, seems to me your past has caught up with the two of youse and it all stops now, here, today. As my good friend Marshal Wayne says, this allotment ain’t big enough for the two of us. Now, as you can see Deputy Prettyboi and his posse of mountainy men, all wearing’ their best leather chaps and spotted hankies for the occasion, have brung their wagon and a whole caboose of mules into town so as you and Penfold Pete can load up your goods and chattels and high tail it out of the territory pretty darn quick.”

Mz Babs tossed her raddled curls in a final act of defiance and started to speak, but Sheriff DaMuvva held up her manicured hand , “ The time for speaking’ is passed Mz Babs, long passed.”

There was a gasp from the surrounding townsfolk and casual passers by as the sheriff slowly reached into her holster.

“ I got me a spare screwdriver here, fully charged and ready to go, and I ain’t afraid to use it if that there shed ain’t dismantled into firewood by the time I’ve had my second cup of Joe” The sheriff raised the screwdriver up high and in the sun it glinted like the sword of righteous redemption. Amen.

I tried to read that with an American accent, but it kept turning West Country/Devon/Cornwall for some reason.

OhmygodDont · 20/05/2024 14:07

That’s it I’ve been out at the allotment’s today. No babs on our sites we visited today 😂 some lovely plots though.