Should I wake my lodger? Hasn't turned up for work

[Noodge]

My lodger works in a nursery and starts around 07:30.

Her boss has messaged me this morning to ask me to get her to get in touch as she hasn't turned up for work.

I actually heard lodger getting up this morning, but then I went back to sleep.

Is it my business? I'm inclined to think not but then, if she's accidentally slept in she might appreciate me waking her up? I've only just seen the message so she's already very late.

Boss knows who I am as we're both in the same social group.

WWYD?

It is when they haven't called in.

When my friend/boss failed to turn up for work colleagues called the guy he was lodging with. He wasn't there, but flatmate knew where he said he was staying the night before. Flatmate and colleague went looking for him, and found him dead, he had killed himself. We all felt guilty that we hadn't missed him sooner and wondered whether if we hadn't at first thought he was probably hungover we could have found him in time to get him help.

Current job a colleague who lives alone fell and hit their head and knocked themselves out. Luckily he came round quickly and was fine, but had it been more serious the first opportunity to get help would have been when he wasn't at work at the usual time.

Why would you block someone in your wider social group when you could simply be a normal person and ask them to not involve you next time 🥲

I don’t think the boss should have FB messaged the OP about this either but OP can just say that in simple terms rather than blocking her.

@fieldsofbutterflies maybe, however I was getting ready in between, as well as answering work emails. Lodger's bedroom isn't next to mine, It's in a different part of the house altogether.

Yes I am not going to block her! But I will ask that she deals with lodger directly. From the little I know lodger is a bit fickle with work and I don't want this happening every other week.

I don't know why you're getting a hard time on here, I agree with you. She's an adult, not your child, you're not responsible for her. I think it's really inappropriate of her boss and I would talk to lodger about checking with your first if she's put you down as an emergency contact instead of her mum. However, assuming you're not listed as an emergency contact (as she used Facebook rather than phone number) then I'd tell the boss directly that it was unprofessional of her and you don't want to get involved in future

maybe, however I was getting ready in between, as well as answering work emails. Lodger's bedroom isn't next to mine, It's in a different part of the house altogether.

Blimey. I didn't realise it was so difficult to show a bit of human kindness. You were asked to knock on a door in your home, not do a two hour round trip 🙄

Alternative viewpoint is that she was asked to participate in inappropriate harassment of an employee.

@Noodge you're right to tell friend to leave you out of it in future,glad everything's ok

I can't believe some of these threads.

If a reliable employee does not show up for work on time, does not contact you and doesn't not answer your phone, of course you will try to track them down. Not because you're trying to harass them, but because you're trying to check if they're still alive.

Pretty normal to start with the people who live with the AWOL employee. If they say that the employee left the house as normal and you know they haven't turned up... You start calling the hospital.

The people who seem to think it is inappropriate to check on someone are the people who clearly have never had a colleague unexpectedly die. It happens.

Did your lodger's boss message you because just because she happens to know you, or has your lodger put down your number as her 'emergency contact' for work?

If it's the former, then you definitely need to tell her boss that as you're simply her landlord, it's not appropriate for her to be involving you. But if it's the latter, you need to ask your lodger to take your number off her work records and put down someone else as her emergency contact.

@KikiShaLeeBopDeBopBop what are you on about?

It's perfectly normal for employers to track down employees who don't show up for work. It's certainly not harassment 🙄

This is one step away from stalking. Of course it isn’t normal for a manager to do all that.

It absolutely is normal @curiositykilledthiscat - if employees don't turn up for work and can't be contacted via phone or in person, then employers have a duty of care to make sure they're okay.

And yes, that could mean calling hospitals or contacting the police if needed. To refer to that duty of care as stalking is not only grossly inappropriate, it also diminishes what stalking actually means.

Er, ACAS would disagree:

https://www.acas.org.uk/unauthorised-absence#:~:text=Employers%20have%20a%20duty%20of,and%20if%20they're%20safe.

'Checking an employee is safeEmployers have a duty of care towards their employees. They must do all they reasonably can to support their health, safety and wellbeing.
When an employee does not turn up for work, their employer should follow steps to check where they are and if they're safe.
They should first check if the employee has a planned absence. For example, if they're on holiday or have an appointment.
If the employee should be at work, the employer should:

1. Try contacting the employee using their work contact details
2. Try contacting them using their personal contact details
3. Get in touch with the employee's emergency contact'

www.acas.org.uk/unauthorised-absence#:~:text=Employers%20have%20a%20duty%20of,and%20if%20they're%20safe.

If an employer cannot contact their employee
If an employer has tried all options and still cannot get hold of their employee or their emergency contact, they might be concerned about their welfare.
As a last resort, to check they're safe they could:
• go to the employee's home address – if appropriate
• contact the police to ask for a welfare check – if they have serious concerns about their safety

Ha, x-post @Bjorkdidit

If you’d read my post properly, you’d know that I did not refer to the steps you outlined (over the top and a bit creepy for one day’s unauthorised leave) as stalking.

A teacher didn't turn up to work at my school a few years ago and wasn't answering his phone. The deputy head called at his house and found he had died unexpectedly. It's perfectly normal to check on the welfare of an employee who hasn't turned up for work and can't be contacted. Who else would do it if they lived alone?

In this circumstance I think I would put a note under the lodger’s door saying “this is none of my business, sorry for disturbing you but x has contacted me, hope you are ok, tell me if you need anything, told x to get in touch with you directly”

And I would tell x what I had done and to get in touch directly.

Oh I hate it when that happens.

Yes, a colleague didn't turn up at work and as they could not get hold of her, they knocked the door down and she was in a diabetic coma. Another friend didn't turn up at work, and they tried to get hold of him- on a Friday. Same on Monday, and on Tuesday, the police knocked the door down. He had had a massive stroke, and sort of survived, unable to speak or communicate, in nappies and a wheelchair, for 1 year. Had the school tried harder to get to him on the Friday, he would have probably made a good recovery and be alive and active now.

Just humanity.

I'm still reading the thread, so don't yet know if the lodger was having a hangover or a stroke ... and that's the point! You can't say it isn't an emergency until you've checked on her condition. That's why it's NOT inappropriate to alert the landlady, or for OP to knock on the door.

This. A very good friend of mine failed to turn up to work after annual leave. They contacted the person who was down as next of kin to find out if they knew where he was. A welfare check was done and it was found that he had passed away in his flat whilst on annual leave. He lived alone and was a bit of a loner with no family. He could have lain there dead for a lot longer if it was not for his employer to raise the alarm.

what is bangret please?

When you cut your own fringe and it looks so bad you can't leave the house for three months.

My dad had an employee who didn’t turn up and did not answer his phone, which was highly unusual. He drove to his house, but he did not open the door. My dad ended up breaking the window to get in, and found him in the bath trying to commit suicide. He had taken lots of tablets too, because was depressed about a nasty divorce.

That man now has a new wife, a 25 year old son and still works in the same place. He has a very happy life.

Is that a word you just made up @GalileoHumpkins

Thank you for all opinions-I am sorry to hear so many sad stories! My lodger must be ill as I am now working from the sitting room and she's not been out of her room once. But she responded to me this morning. If she's ill I do not want to wake her up even if it is a bit concerning.

Exactly. It is the humane and socially responsible thing to do, to check on a colleague who is AWOL.