Should I wake my lodger? Hasn't turned up for work

[Noodge]

My lodger works in a nursery and starts around 07:30.

Her boss has messaged me this morning to ask me to get her to get in touch as she hasn't turned up for work.

I actually heard lodger getting up this morning, but then I went back to sleep.

Is it my business? I'm inclined to think not but then, if she's accidentally slept in she might appreciate me waking her up? I've only just seen the message so she's already very late.

Boss knows who I am as we're both in the same social group.

WWYD?

Some people don't seem to get it.

They check up due to DOC, not snooping. The length of time would depend on the employee's known circs, how far they live from work. If she's a 1.5 hour commute or drive away you might leave it a bit longer but if she's a short walk away it would make sense to check up as soon as it became apparent she was late.

If she's not answering her phone (of her own message didn't go through, telephony issue?) and not answering the door (got the wrong one) then yes, no reason not to try someone at the same address to be thorough.

Sounds like a few things fell through before reaching the OP but it was absolutely nothing like stalking or inappropriate. Once my colleague knocked on and I'd had a seizure, I was fine just dazed but was glad they checked. Emergencies do happen and employer duty of care is in the interests of the employee.

OP why wouldn't you just knock on the door if it happens again? If it becomes a regular thing address it then, don't tell them not to contact you.

My thought process would be (if I were home) to go and check as otherwise the police could be round to do a welfare check and would disturb me far more than waking across the house

I know a colleague didn't turn up for work at 7 and about 10.30 the police were at her door doing a welfare check - because it wasn't like her, she wasn't answering the phone and lived alone

From my limited understanding menegitis is more common amongst young people who are close contact with other young people. The onset is very speedy and it can appear like a hangover. If it is combined with a hangover, people leave them alone to " sleep it off"

This actually happened,tragic.
I would rather intervene and look stupid than let something bad happen. But if it makes you feel good being snippy at me, carry on.

I'm really quite surprised that so many people just think its none of their business and wouldn't even check on someone they live with.

I also know of multiple cases where someone has cared enough to check. A man in his 90s who had fallen at home and the staff in the bank noticed he hadn't been in that week and went to check on him. He hadn't drunk anything in 2 days and was pretty close to death.
Another a man had fallen in the bath and couldn't get out. A neighbour who had never spoken to him before noticed his bin wasn't out and went to check. His pressure sores from lying there for days were so bad they were down to the bone. He was only in his 60s.

And I also know plenty of people where people came too late. A few years back an old friend of my grandma's died alone in her flat. She was found week's later when the flies and smell got so bad that other residents complained. And most recently a colleague in her 40s didn't turn up to work one day. Her husband had recently died and the emergency contact hadn't been updated so someone went round there and found her unconscious. Unfortunately they were too late to save her. I honestly can't believe how many people wouldn't even check in on the other people they live with.

A few years ago a local woman didn't take her children to school and was not answering the phone. Nor did she answer the front door when the welfare officer popped around.

When it happened again the next day, the school reported it to the police because it was unusual for these children to be absent without Mum calling.

The young mum had suffered an aneurysm and passed away while bathing them. The older child had gotten the younger one out of the bath and ready for bed. They told police mummy was sleeping and would not wake up.

That story stayed with me. The thought of those poor kids in the house alone not able to wake mummy up or unlock the door to get help broke my heart. Ever since if a colleague is absent with no contact I do everything I can to get hold of someone who knows them. If ever I couldn't reach anyone I would push HR to request a welfare check.

@eggplant16

The OP doesn't say how old the lodger is, she might not be young. She hasn't said anything about a hangover etc. Obviously lots of people get unwell every day with a variety of illnesses.

It's a wild first thought when someone's not turned up to work... maybe it's meningitis!?

It could have been anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it's to check in or you're ill (though there are private health conditions) that's ok I guess.

If it's issues with work or some personal life matters/reasons, a bit much for your employer to track you down in your home through the landlord, plus release info about your work life / performance to your landlord. There should be a boundary between work and home/personal life.

I'd still knock to be on the safe side of course.

100% disagree with the last paragraph. It's not the lodger's problem. Tell that to the employer, not the lodger.

My friend died of an undiagnosed heart defect when she was 30, and it was her work colleagues who raised the alarm. 😔 Sadly she could not have been saved even if found right away, she died almost instantly, but at least she was not left lying there for days.

With that on my mind, I contacted HR when a team member did not show and did not call in sick, and as they could not contact him they got hold of his next-of-kin, a parent in this case. Turned out he had a drink problem and had fallen heavily off the wagon and gone on a binge. He was angry with us but what if he had been lying there sick and helpless? Imagine you could have helped, and didn’t.

@GerbilsForever24 @Bjorkdidit If I didn't turn up for work it would be appropriate for my boss to contact my listed emergency contacts, but not random people they'd sniffed out in my life. I might not get on well with my landlord, or might not want my landlord to know about my work life.

You can tell who doesn't have to rush for urgent commutes/shifts/meetings/client deadlines lol

The boss should call the next of kin - not housemates.

Both you and @fieldsofbutterflies conveniently left out that the page DOESN'T list contacting randoms as an option - only listed emergency contacts, going round to their listed address (info they've provided you), or police.

It's clearly not that the option didn't occur to them. They deliberately omitted it because it's a grey area that could be inappropriate in many cases.

I think asking a close friend or family member (not listed as emergency contact) after a while (hours? days?) is OK, but FB messaging my landlord after 25 mins of work starting is just weird. As PP said, it actually sounds more like they were short staffed at the nursery and wanted OP to urgently chivvy employee out of bed.

Exactly this - it's quite strange to be honest. What next? If the boss knows your local postman, they might ask them to check on you when they go round?

Ha, yes. Or ring the local corner shop and they can bang on the windows when they deliver the newspapers. 😂

I didn't say it was a first thought. But having had a second hand experience of this, it would be on my radar.

In a civilised, caring society, I would have thought a quick knock on the door would be fine.

Legally speaking, duty of care always includes a proportionality assessment re GDPR breach.

In this case, Facebook messaging an unlisted contact – who, being the landlord, has a primarily commercial and potentially physically invasive (fyi proximity is a key concept in tort where Duty of Care stems from, albeit applied in a different light) relationship with the employee – over 20 minutes of lateness likely exceeds the proportionately threshold...

I'm side eyeing the boss here.

If she doesn't have form for just not showing up to work I would absolutely check. Sod privacy and what's appropriate, I'd never forgive myself if she needed help and didn't get it because I was worried about doing the wrong thing. To be honest, even if she did have form for not showing up to work I'd still check because the one time you don't check could be the one time she really needed help.

To her line manager: GDPR opt out, I am not this persons emergency contact, remove me from your contact list.
To lodger: [knock knock] sorry your cunt boss called, checking if you are alive and giving you heads up? Also, did you list me as emergency contact*?

*Lodger may be estranged and with not much close relations and gave landlords details not thinking work will ever call.

They really haven't. And it is not on OP to wake her lodger up on the emoyers say so.

Could you not just say to the lodger that you felt uncomfortable to be contacted by her boss and for her to report her absences earlier and directly to the boss if she is unwell.

I personally don’t think it’s a big deal. I am a reliable employee and I know my workplace would try and locate me informally if I lived alone and emergency contacts did not pick up.

You are correct. I watch a fair bit of true crime and I’ve seen employers find out their employee is dead because they’ve driven to their house or they’ve rung and asked the emergency contact to call round or investigate etc.

I’ve never had anything that dramatic in my own life but I do know from common knowledge employers are expected to investigate if they think someone has unexpectedly not shown up. It’s not unusual.

what a palava about knocking on someone’s door. 😌 the lodger clearly didn’t inform them on time but they weren’t harassing her

What GDPR breach has occurred? The boss already knew the OP was the lodger's LL and had her details socially. The fact the OP is slightly late for work is hardly sensitive information. What is physically invasive about knocking on the door to check someone is ok?

I can't see how using the details to check the lodger's wellbeing after two listed contact methods had failed would not be defensible (or really a circumstance where it would need to be defended).

how sad about your friend but yes it’s at least something she wasn’t left festering for days. As a woman who lives alone I’m grateful my work would at some point raise the alarm if I just never showed up.

And it’s good you looked out for your colleague.