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Surely this is just human nature or has everyone become unkind

256 replies

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 13:40

Went to see challenges at the cinema it’s obviously a longish film over two hours. Once it had finished there was a massive queue for the toilets as I think another film ended around the same time. A young woman entered the toilet clearly overtly desperate for a wee legs crossed etc. I said the poor girl could obviously go in front of me only for the woman behind me to get very cross with me. Surely it’s just human nature if you see someone more in need you help? Like if someone was starving hungry I would give them my food even if I was also hungry.

OP posts:
Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:11

Desecratedcoconut · 05/05/2024 16:09

Yes, and you'd be the only one inconvenienced by your good deed.

I fully understand that but I probably wouldn’t have been able to wait that much longer which is why I didn’t go to back maybe it was selfish of me.

OP posts:
Efh · 05/05/2024 16:11

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 15:46

Fair enough I agree I just felt a bit upset that the woman was unkind to someone clearly in need as I’m a very generous person. I would probably even give someone my last £1 if I thought they needed it more.

Well I’m sorry to inform you that there are plenty of people with £1000 or £10000 who’d happily take your last £1 off you and tell you they needed it more.

You sound like a nice person Op, but there are so many cheaters and scammers about.

Desecratedcoconut · 05/05/2024 16:11

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:10

As I said I did look around to see how the others were coping no one looked as distressed as this girl.

That's just not how it works, some people are very demonstrative and some people are very stoic. You had no idea how other people were fairing.

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:13

Efh · 05/05/2024 16:11

Well I’m sorry to inform you that there are plenty of people with £1000 or £10000 who’d happily take your last £1 off you and tell you they needed it more.

You sound like a nice person Op, but there are so many cheaters and scammers about.

Yes I know but I wouldn’t let it stop me as that’s on them if they want to do that my morals still are I want to help.

OP posts:
cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:13

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:06

Like I said if I had gone to the back I would have been behind 20 other women rather then everyone else being one behind.

It was not for you to judge that every single other person in the queue HAD to give up one space - I am so angry thinking about this. If you did that to me when I was waiting for the loo I would have been so upset. You have absolutely no idea what anyone elses situation is, whether they are chatting, looking at their phone or anything. I look at my phone sometimes as a distraction when I am in serious pain, and you taking it upon yourself to make it worse for me like this would have been devastating.

honestly, you are making me so angry. Not only was your action incredibly selfish, but you are so smug and self congratulatory, and calling yourself kind and generous when you have been so totally self absorbed and selfish just takes my breath away.

I am imagining what other people in that queue could have been experiencing, and if I had been there, I promise you, you would have gone straight to the back.

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:14

Desecratedcoconut · 05/05/2024 16:11

That's just not how it works, some people are very demonstrative and some people are very stoic. You had no idea how other people were fairing.

I think everyone no matter how stoic can’t hide their feelings completely.

OP posts:
Efh · 05/05/2024 16:14

I was in a checkout queue and the elderly couple behind me were saying to eachother “oh no I don’t think we’re going to make it in time”

so, being a decent person, I let them go in front of me.

when they left and the cashier was serving me, she said - it was nice of you to do that, but just to let you know, they come in every single day and every single day they stand in the queue and say something like that that makes people let them go first.

people behaving appallingly. Those of us on the receiving end of it become hardened and less kind.

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:15

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:13

Yes I know but I wouldn’t let it stop me as that’s on them if they want to do that my morals still are I want to help.

But you did not do anything kind, or helpful or moral, quite the reverse - I am just gobsmacked that you cant see what a mean and nasty thing you did

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:15

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:13

It was not for you to judge that every single other person in the queue HAD to give up one space - I am so angry thinking about this. If you did that to me when I was waiting for the loo I would have been so upset. You have absolutely no idea what anyone elses situation is, whether they are chatting, looking at their phone or anything. I look at my phone sometimes as a distraction when I am in serious pain, and you taking it upon yourself to make it worse for me like this would have been devastating.

honestly, you are making me so angry. Not only was your action incredibly selfish, but you are so smug and self congratulatory, and calling yourself kind and generous when you have been so totally self absorbed and selfish just takes my breath away.

I am imagining what other people in that queue could have been experiencing, and if I had been there, I promise you, you would have gone straight to the back.

I’ve literally said maybe I was selfish but in the time of the moment I genuinely wanted to help her.

OP posts:
cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:16

Efh · 05/05/2024 16:14

I was in a checkout queue and the elderly couple behind me were saying to eachother “oh no I don’t think we’re going to make it in time”

so, being a decent person, I let them go in front of me.

when they left and the cashier was serving me, she said - it was nice of you to do that, but just to let you know, they come in every single day and every single day they stand in the queue and say something like that that makes people let them go first.

people behaving appallingly. Those of us on the receiving end of it become hardened and less kind.

But you swapped places with them. The OP didn't. She pushed every single person in the queue backwards, just for her own self satisfaction

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:16

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:15

But you did not do anything kind, or helpful or moral, quite the reverse - I am just gobsmacked that you cant see what a mean and nasty thing you did

I wasn’t mean maybe I didn’t think deepely enough but surely you can’t think letting a desperate person use the loo is mean?

OP posts:
ALunchbox · 05/05/2024 16:16

I'd say letting someone go first and skip the queue if they needed normal in other parts of the world. People queue for the bus in this country so I guess they feel very strongly about it. It's literally the butt of jokes in other countries I've lived in. Different perspectives I guess.

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:17

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:15

But you did not do anything kind, or helpful or moral, quite the reverse - I am just gobsmacked that you cant see what a mean and nasty thing you did

I apologise if I’ve caused offence to you and will take what you’ve said on board if I’m in a similar situation

OP posts:
Desecratedcoconut · 05/05/2024 16:17

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:14

I think everyone no matter how stoic can’t hide their feelings completely.

Give over. You're not one of those people who considers themselves an empathy are you?

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:18

ALunchbox · 05/05/2024 16:16

I'd say letting someone go first and skip the queue if they needed normal in other parts of the world. People queue for the bus in this country so I guess they feel very strongly about it. It's literally the butt of jokes in other countries I've lived in. Different perspectives I guess.

I kind of get the bus as sometimes you are stood in the cold for ages then a person who’s just arrived will make a point to try and Board the bus first.

OP posts:
Efh · 05/05/2024 16:18

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:16

But you swapped places with them. The OP didn't. She pushed every single person in the queue backwards, just for her own self satisfaction

I know that. I’m just pointing out that people often tell lies to jump queues.

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:19

Desecratedcoconut · 05/05/2024 16:17

Give over. You're not one of those people who considers themselves an empathy are you?

Not really I’m autistic so struggle unless it’s very obvious

OP posts:
cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:19

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:16

I wasn’t mean maybe I didn’t think deepely enough but surely you can’t think letting a desperate person use the loo is mean?

forcing every single person in the queue back one was mean and nasty, yes. Not up to you, not up to your judgement and incredibly selfish and thoughtless.

If you had given her your place, that would have been kind. But you didn't. You gave her every other persons place, which wasn't yours to give. Why? to make you feel pleased with yourself. Very selfish indeed.

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:20

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:19

forcing every single person in the queue back one was mean and nasty, yes. Not up to you, not up to your judgement and incredibly selfish and thoughtless.

If you had given her your place, that would have been kind. But you didn't. You gave her every other persons place, which wasn't yours to give. Why? to make you feel pleased with yourself. Very selfish indeed.

It wasn’t to make me feel pleased with my self at all. It was because I could visibly see the disconfront she was in.

OP posts:
Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:20

No of it was about me I just saw her and said do you want to go I. Front

OP posts:
Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:21

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:19

forcing every single person in the queue back one was mean and nasty, yes. Not up to you, not up to your judgement and incredibly selfish and thoughtless.

If you had given her your place, that would have been kind. But you didn't. You gave her every other persons place, which wasn't yours to give. Why? to make you feel pleased with yourself. Very selfish indeed.

Just a question would you leave someone visibly desperate to queue behind 20 people?

OP posts:
Desecratedcoconut · 05/05/2024 16:22

So, again, it's possible that there were people in the queue who may have been just as desperate but who weren't making a carry on about it. It may have been pelvic floor-maggedin and you'd be none the wiser.

Kalevala · 05/05/2024 16:22

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 14:32

I just thought she need more in need then me hence I let her go and out her needs over mine.

You also put her needs over everyone else behind you, which wasn't your call. Some people just dramatically act out a need more than others, doesn't mean the others had less need for the loo.

cranberrypi · 05/05/2024 16:23

Lovetoshop778 · 05/05/2024 16:21

Just a question would you leave someone visibly desperate to queue behind 20 people?

I would give them MY place. I would not force everyone in the queue back, whether they could cope with that or not, without knowing any of their situations without knowing if I was causing them physical pain, without knowing what they were hurrying for.

Blueplantpots · 05/05/2024 16:24

Perhaps she should have gone to the loo when she needed to go instead of getting to the point she could barely hold on? That’s what adults do. I’m sure there would have been disabled toilets available for her use if she was disabled?

I’d have been annoyed too if you’d let someone jump the queue and held everyone else up.

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