Ukrainian house guest doesn't want to leave!

[reallyneedmoresleep]

We've had a Ukrainian house guest for the last six months via the Homes for Ukraine scheme. When she came to live with us, we said it would be for a six month period and at the last welfare check we confirmed that she would need to move out by mid-May.
She doesn't want to leave. She has asked several times if she can stay, we have said no. She says our house is much nicer than where she can afford to move to.

I have visited estate agents with her who advise that to rent privately, she either needs a guarantor (we are not prepared to do this) or to pay six month's rent plus the deposit up front. She cannot afford this.

What do we do?

I know the situation in Ukraine is appallling and I am writing from a position of immense priveledge but we have found it really difficult having someone else in our home. She is not an easy person to be around, does not work, has refused all offers to be taken to support groups and frequently just hangs around us when we are in the house when we are trying to work or just to chill. Our son is home from uni in a couple of weeks and we need the room back.

There has been radio silence from the council Homes for Ukraine scheme.
How can I help her to move on?

That they’re being “very well looked after” will be news to them, I think.

If the non-white refugees are being very well looked after then why can’t the Ukrainians also have a whale of a time on the Bibby Stockholm? 🧐

some Local Authorities are being guarantors, check this with your council.

this

You email the council and tell them they need to deal with the issue.

They have a responsibility to.

Council may push back. Tell them NO in uncertain terms and give a firm deadline.

This isn't your problem to resolve. Its your guest's and the councils.

So it is okay to overlook those that are racists, and have no problem voicing their distasteful views is it? How crass, to try to defend that.

Ukrainian universities have had significant number of African students since the 1970s, programs welcoming students. Many are around 25% African. Huge numbers of doctors train there in particular. Fees are affordable (£500 a year in some), there is specialist support and student unions. Links have been there long enough that many had parents who attended.
It’s very easy to see a few TikTok videos and click baits and condem a people. But if it was really as simple as consistent poor treatment then the universities would be emptier. Frankly, compared to UK visa rules and financial milking it’s rather friendly. They can stay and get citizenship, not just get
milked and leave. They are vital to many universities.
There are issues and scum in Ukraine, just like in the UK. There are racists, like in the UK. But to be fair they certainly haven’t picked up the level of systematic racism that holds people down. If you are black in Ukraine the undercurrent is jealousy if anything, you are perceived to be richer and getting a good education. The scum hate being bettered. It’s not like the UK’s assumptions around young black men for sure.
There was a black MP from Kyiv trying to be heard when a lot of these videos were shared, to try to get his voice out. But he was ignored. One video of a man ranting at a car in the pedestrian queue and asking them to get over to the car queue at the border was shared over and over though as an example of a racist preventing students getting out. People are drawn in to hate. Don’t get me wrong, there were awful incidents that need calling out and students both abandoned in Ukraine and their own embassies. However it was presented to stoke a wider level of division and hate, rather than support anyone of any colour in need.
Believe me there are enough racist idiots in Ukraine. But British people have no superiority to be making judgements and feeling content that they can pick and choose the worthy ones. It’s kind of overt racism and systematic racism.
I’d accept Ukraine is a racist country and it’s people shouldn’t be helped, from those who fully accept the UK is a racist country and people from the UK shouldn’t be helped. they can be judged by the same measures. If you are comfortable with an EDL March being used to justify why your children should remain in a war zone so be it. But I can’t imagine many people would be if the situation was reversed.
The reality is Ukraine is diverse, there’s not one way of thinking. There’s racist scum, there’s liberals. Someone in Donbas lives as far from Lviv as a Londoner lives from Lviv. And probably feels about as connected to Lviv culture as a Londoner does. They’ll speak different languages, their city, landscape, culture, ethnic heritage and beliefs will be different. Ukrainians aren’t a homogeneous blob. Imagine one family comes to stay with you from the Home Counties and a private school background, and they another from a bleak estate in Hull who haven’t worked for a few generations. Then amplify those differences.

Because they don’t have the right to claim asylum or long term support. They have short term sponsored visas, more like work or family visas, that are being kept deliberately separate from those seeking citizenship/ refugee status. The idea is they go soon, the idea is not long term support or accessing the system in any way. Family or host support short term, then leave. No putting down roots or taking steps towards being housing even in the poorest sense.
Every group, in every route is being squeezed to not stay but in a different way.
Locally to me all the long term refugees in hotels were moved on with days notice. The idea is to make it so uncomfortable and difficult people give up. For Ukrainians this means being caught they can’t rent in many areas, for others it’s unacceptable housing. The government aim in both cases in the same.

That’s nice for you. I thought you were all about saving judgement?

Hi,
Apologies if this has already been suggested… We also hosted, and had exactly the same situation. I had a chat, and in addition to contacting our H4U council contact, she also requested a second host on Facebook sites. She obviously ran the gauntlet of everybody asking why she was unable to rent etc; but there were also several very nice offers from people offering to host her. She accepted one, moved, and it actually turned out to be the best move for her - a bigger town, she made some Ukrainian friends, and started work. So although we felt awful, it was well worth her requesting another host, they are out there; and it was better for her in the long run. It’s tough though, she also didn’t want to leave and we felt dreadful, but we couldn’t do it any longer. Best of luck to you all.

You know exactly the point I am trying to make here.

I have name changed for this post.
We had 2 sisters stay with us.
Bent over backwards to help them.
Financially help them. Even our neighbours helped in any way they could.
My god what a piss take. They were staying in 2 bedrooms and had their own bathroom. The complaints started about how WE had the best bedroom.
WE had a lounge that they wanted for their sole use. Asked us to limit our time to watch the television. So they could watch what they wanted without us there.
Date they were supposed to leave came and went. No help to get them out.
No help was given to get them out even though they had a date.
Complained about GP wanting cosmetic treatment, DWP wouldn't give them even more money, couldn't understand why they needed to work as the UK government had welcomed them to this country.
Finally we got them out after a lot of stress and upset.
We would never never never help again.
I'm sure other people from the Ukraine were lovely and we just got the dregs of society.
Sad sad sad sad.

I think these stories are just awful

however for balance I feel I should pipe in that I both the families I know who took some in had a very positive experience, their guests tried hard to find work, succeeded and have now moved on to their own accommodation. Obviously my friends were very lucky though they know they were and have complained about woeful lack of support

We hosted a young Ukrainian student for 6 months. She spoke no English when she arrived. She immediately began English lessons at the local college, carried on with her university course on line, and as soon as she had a smattering of English, she got jobs working in a pub kitchen and also in a care home. As soon as she began work, she refused to let us feed her and was generally independent, hard working, polite and kind. At the end of 6 months, we decided that her English was still not good enough for her to function independently, so she stayed with us for another 6 months before moving on to other hosts. She was a credit to her home country. We treated her in the same way we would have wanted our daughters to be treated if we'd been invaded and they had fled to Ukraine to escape an anti democratic, violent government. When we felt our student was ready to leave, we were quite firm as she would like to have stayed longer, but we needed her room back for visiting children and grandchildren and although she was no bother at all, I wanted our privacy back. Thankfully, where we live, the council and HfU help find accommodation They also help with the first months' rent, deposit etc . OP - I suggest you have a good long chat with the HfU people and your local authority. You have done an amazing job but you aren't expected to deal with your uncomfortable situation by yourself.

Absolute farce of a scheme - government set up a ridiculous scheme to look good to their cronies and stitched up good people like the OP.

and all for what?

In any country there are lazy entitled arseholes,
people who want to play the system, criminals and piss takers. There are also honest decent and law abiding people who show gratitude and have some empathy for others. It’s the luck of the draw who got good tenants and who ended up with entitled arseholes. Ukraine has a very different culture to ours . They have a different health care system and a different social structure. Their outlook is quite different. It was always going to be a disaster just letting anyone live with a family regardless of whether they worked or contributed in any way.

Sorry just seen this and you make the point much better than me.

I don't trust him either. Never have.

@BouncebackBetty why?

I come from a line of Ashkenazi Jews from Ukraine and Russia.
Azov - Enough said.