Ukrainian house guest doesn't want to leave!

[reallyneedmoresleep]

We've had a Ukrainian house guest for the last six months via the Homes for Ukraine scheme. When she came to live with us, we said it would be for a six month period and at the last welfare check we confirmed that she would need to move out by mid-May.
She doesn't want to leave. She has asked several times if she can stay, we have said no. She says our house is much nicer than where she can afford to move to.

I have visited estate agents with her who advise that to rent privately, she either needs a guarantor (we are not prepared to do this) or to pay six month's rent plus the deposit up front. She cannot afford this.

What do we do?

I know the situation in Ukraine is appallling and I am writing from a position of immense priveledge but we have found it really difficult having someone else in our home. She is not an easy person to be around, does not work, has refused all offers to be taken to support groups and frequently just hangs around us when we are in the house when we are trying to work or just to chill. Our son is home from uni in a couple of weeks and we need the room back.

There has been radio silence from the council Homes for Ukraine scheme.
How can I help her to move on?

Thousands of British hosts have most definitely not had a good experience, I assure you! I’ve been hugely involved in this scheme and a lot of the stories are beyond shocking; assaults (of all kinds), abuse inc financial abuse, thefts, refusal to work, refusal to integrate into the community, a LOT of racism and homophobia, entitlement, lies, frequent holidays back to Ukraine for Botox and other cosmetic procedures. Honestly it’s been bad for a lot of hosts.

of course there are many many wonderful experiences. My experience was largely good my god a lot a lot of experiences have been traumatising

This isn't wildly different from what I've heard from multiple hosts.

Many people who came to the UK were affluent and from the west of the country. This was partly because those from the east and south either left without documentation or in a rush whereas later leavers really weren't in immediate danger and used it as an economic opportunity.

The UK scheme effectively made this much more likely and discriminated against people who were actively fleeing the immediate violence.

The family I know who hosted a family from Kharkiv and were under bombardment had an absolute nightmare getting them out. They took far longer to get visa and that was only after the local MP was involved. They are one of the families that have really got on with it here - they have no where to go back to and don't wish to return.

One family locally drove to the UK in a brand new range rover, refused to get jobs and had a son at private school abroad who later joined them. They still claimed benefits. They were going backwards and forwards for cosmetic surgery. I honestly don't know how their hosts tolerated it tbh.

But there was an interesting divide and resentment amongst the Ukrainians who came here themselves. There was a feeling of hostility from the eastern Ukrainians who had no choice and the more economic migrants from the west and the straight up chancers.

One Ukrainian who stayed with one of my best friends refused to associate with some of the other Ukrainians because they asked her why she was bothering to work and told her she should be just claiming benefits and making the most of it because they were living for free whilst earning substantially more than they could ever earn in the UK.

For me I think it's telling that the OP says her guest has been here a year and now had two hosts. Most refugees who were in dire need came in the first wave in 2022. They didn't come in 2023. Why?

I think it's a really complicated situation. There definitely are a lot of refugees in need of support, but there are also a lot of economic migrants using this as an opportunity - many of whom stuck it out for a while and then returned financially much better off.

It seems like there’s a lot of posters talking about refugees popping back for cosmetic procedures, I had no idea there were so many doing this, like it’s a common occurrence! It’s good to see they have their priorities straight

Those who got council houses, were they perm tenancy?

Have they given them up on return?

How are people able to live on benefits? Do they not have job seeking obligations, related activities, sanctions if they voluntarily leave a job etc?

Trust me, it shocked me.

It's not unusual for them to go back to Ukraine for extended holdiays, then complain because their benefits have stopped because they've been out of the UK for more than 28 days in a row.

So much of these mumsnetter comments are reminiscent of the way Polish people were perceived , harrassed and bullied in the 10 years after 2004 when EU enlargenment happened .... That I want to throw up and hang my head in despair of the ukippy , xenophobic tongue-wagging and bitching amongst my compatriots . (((😥

stereotyping , generalising and Nigel Farageising - DISGRACEFUL !

We are over 2 years into this situation and we have avoided any use of nuclear weapons. Neither side has an appetite for that, for several different reasons. Anyway, if it ever did go that far, people having a bitch about Ukrainians going for Botox would be the least of all our worries.

I know. I am shocked and embarrassed that some people are so blatant in their loathsome views. This does not bode well for a General Election.

Why the weird spacing? It's like a bot has written your post.

it's odd that's why.

I do. Cos it's odd.

I agree with PP that you need to give her a definite date to move out, in writing. Also get some legal advice to make sure that you can pack up her stuff and change the locks without any repercussions.

She is taking the mickey, she isn't prepared to take any job to make ends meet, and therefore will keep abusing your hospitality for as long as you let her.

'Shared values' because they're white. This experience has been nothing but chaos and stress for the people who took part. It's not the fault of those who wanted to offer up help/support/a room in their house but I wonder how everyone thought it would end.

A. The loud snoring didn't put her off living with you, apparently!
B. She may well not want a room in a shared house, but tbh many people snore loudly, and don't get their own sole occupancy property just because of that. Lodger or flatshare is the obvious move, and if she looks at rooms for lodgers she may well find one where the spare room is a distance from anyone else, eg a downstairs room.

Here we go again. Anyone with a slightly different point of view is a Russian sympathiser or a troll.

Thank God some people still know how to think for themselves because it's very quickly going out of fashion.

Let's spell it out simply for you.

Ukraine still has issues with corruption.
Ukraine is at war
Not all Ukrainians come here for the right reasons.
Not all Ukrainians are nice.
Ukraine has a history of racism.

Many Ukranians are good people.