Bleach and other been swallowed.

[Intheair24]

Dd on/of boyfriend. Has swallowed bleach. And clothes washing tablets and fabric conditioner. We don't know how much. We know he's gone to hospital. He done it because dd said he can't go on holiday with her because of how nasty he has been to her.

How dangerous could this be dd feels awful

How old are they? Seen they have a child together?

She just left 20 min or so ago. As she needs to get her other child to bed etc. I have young children as well and no childcare . We are talking via phone /message. She will reach out if its to hard for her to manage.

Mid 20s

Absolutely this. I have 2 young adult sons with autism and this is arseholery behaviour, not autistic. You can be an autistic person with decent boundaries and not be an abuser.

This is abuse, your poor daughter.

I thought you were talking about young teenagers.

Mid twenties and drinking bleach and fabric conditioner!

What an absolute tool.

I would just be there to support your DD for now until they know the outcome.

But then I would use this as an excuse to speak to her about how this relationship obviously isn’t good for him and how perhaps she should consider slowing things down or even ending them, to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This is such a scary situation (I hope he’s ok) but he has now got his mum and your DD wrapped around his little finger.
Its worse because your DD has a baby and so is technically tied to him, thank goodness she doesn’t live with him!

Perhaps once she’s found out his prognosis you could encourage her to make an anonymous thread on here for advice and support.

Well I guess if someone is aiming to Hury themselves for what ever reason they dont think about their age when doing it

Please get your dd to separate from him as much as possible. If he does this over not going on a holiday what else might he do? The physical and mental harm he could do doesn’t bear thinking about.
I think you need advice on his safety with your dd and dgc. Maybe Women’s Aid or a solicitor if that’s possible?

I had a lovely student whose life was ruined by her bf doing similar with fatal results.

Well if he has drank bleach it is very corrosive to the oesophagus, it will burn, and damage it long term. I’ve nursed patients who did stuff like this, years later they are still suffering and require treatment. It’s potentially fatal.

I hope he’s ok. But your dd needs to get out of this relationship.

People can commit or attempt to commit suicide at any age.

Odd reply

Apologies if I got it wrong before. It just seemed like strange priorities. Agree your dd needs to see this for what it is, a form of emotional abuse, whatever the physical outcome.

OP absolutely they need to separate and this man needs to be safe to be around before there is talk of contact. Your DD may need support to know that whatever happens it is not her fault and why separation would help both. Obviously where your priority is.

As someone with ASD and at times mental illness thank you for your compassion for this man who may not be deliberately manipulative (of course he might be but it is not definite as some posters seem to say.)

I hope your DD realises this is the end of the relationship. Threatening to hurt yourself/commit suicide because of someone else is abuse (even more so because it was over a holiday), actually following through in this way shows how unstable he is. Even his mum has pointed this out. I do hope he’s ok but I feel so sorry for you DD and GC

Hospital might section him!

You know what, if he’s this much of a guilt tripping low life it’s best if he it just taken out of the picture with a sectioning or worse. How are you sitting here asking how he’s going to be and how bad he’s going to have hurt himself? Who gives a flying shit? The guy is a manipulative fuck wit and it’s no wonder your daughter is in abusive relationships when you minimise this kind of behaviour.

This is domestic abuse. Behaviours like this are designed to reduce the chances of the victim not doing as they’re told (like going on holiday) in the future, because they’re scared of the consequences, like another attempt on his life. You must protect your daughter from this. Does she have any learning needs? Get her to the children’s centre and signed up for the freedom programme asap. Refer her to a local domestic abuse charity for one to one support. You also need to consider how you can protect the child from this toxicity.

@DrJoanAllenby I really hope you aren't a medical doctor with such an unsympathetic attitude.

You have absolutely no idea you really don't. This is a small snip that your seeing and taking it the wrong way and misunderstanding. You have no right to judge me what so ever .

Anyone who threatens to self harm in order to get their own way or coerc another person is abusive ! Encourage her to dump him!

Your daughter is in abusive relationship

Her ex boyfriend and what he does or doesn’t do is nothing to do with your daughter. He is manipulating her to get what he wants. No man is worth putting up with this kind of controlling behaviour. It will only escalate if she doesn’t break up with him now.
I do hope he’s ok but essentially he makes his own decisions in life.

@Intheair24 I am so sorry you, your daughter and grandchild are going through this. I also feel extremely sorry for the man in question and his mother. He must be very ill mentally to have carried out such a drastic act. You sound like a caring person and I'm glad your daughter and grandchild have you to help them, as it sounds like there are going to be some tough times ahead. Please let us know if the young man is OK, if at all possible?

I do understand that a fully grown man tried to manipulate your daughter to stay with him by pulling a stunt designed to destroy her forever. I do understand that you’re posting here to try and predict the future and hope that he’ll be ok because you’ve decided that it will break your daughter if he dies. What you should be doing is sticking with the line that no matter what happens SHE IS NOT TO BLAME AND HE IS 100% responsible. You shouldn’t even be worrying about him.

I can guarantee you that this hasn’t come out of nowhere. And if it has, it’s been brewing there and was going to come out eventually. You’re lucky he directed his actions at himself not her.

Whatever the reason he did it - maybe an autistic meltdown, maybe manipulation and abuse - its not healthy and your daughter urgently needs to take steps to separate her life from him as much as possible. And now, while he has the attention of the authorities - better he deal with the end of their relationship while he has support. Your daughter may benefit from The Freedom Program and support from DV agencies.