Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Bleach and other been swallowed.

167 replies

Intheair24 · 18/04/2024 17:47

Dd on/of boyfriend. Has swallowed bleach. And clothes washing tablets and fabric conditioner. We don't know how much. We know he's gone to hospital. He done it because dd said he can't go on holiday with her because of how nasty he has been to her.

How dangerous could this be dd feels awful

OP posts:
AnneShirleysNewDress · 18/04/2024 18:07

Is she certain he has actually done this? Either way she needs to cut contact with him immediately. This is emotional abuse and will only get worse. I hope your DD is ok. How old are they?

SpringOfContentment · 18/04/2024 18:08

IncompleteSenten · 18/04/2024 17:55

Hmm. He's swallowed this stuff or he's said he has in an attempt to control, manipulate and guilt trip her?

If he has then he is likely to be very ill. He is also not someone she should be in a relationship with because he needs professional help and she is not in any way equipped to support him.

If he lied then he is dangerously manipulative and a walking red flag in which case he is not someone she should be in a relationship with.

There's no possibility here which leads to any conclusion other than walk away from him

Edited

This is a very well written version of my thoughts.

Catlord · 18/04/2024 18:10

Depends how much he had.

Your DD needs reassurance that this is not her fault and that this is not a reasonable reaction but a manipulative one (even if he has underlying MH issues). Give her opportunity to talk through how he was treating her and whether that spells a good relationship. She doesn't owe him anything now just because he's pulled this. If they live together can she move back in with you?

Intheair24 · 18/04/2024 18:11

Will another as a whole. I did mention not in my op that he is autistic. I have always heard that autism should not be used as an excuse . So I was not sure if I should mention it or not .

They don't live together . She does have a baby with him.

His mum said what he has taken.

Hoping it's just something he has said to be honest

OP posts:
Pashazade · 18/04/2024 18:15

You can be autistic and be an arsehole, you can also be a decent human being. He is not, it is nasty and manipulative, baby or no she should stay away from him, he might threaten the baby next.......because he's an arsehole.

HappyEater · 18/04/2024 18:15

No, the autism isn’t relevant.

The baby is even more reason to cut contact with him.

Singleandproud · 18/04/2024 18:18

Autism has nothing to do with it. She shouldn't be with him because he is an abusive manipulator and he shouldn't be around the baby unsupervised if this is how he behaves when he doesn't get his own way.

Jeezitneverends · 18/04/2024 18:22

What a manipulative arsehole!

Whilst I’m sure your grandchild is amazing m it’s a shame she’s had a child with him as there’s always going to be that link.

I hope you can support her to make the relationships completely off

Intheair24 · 18/04/2024 18:28

Dd has been in a dv relationship before. Her ex is in prison. I know its common to go from one abusive relationship to another. She's been with him roughly 3.5 years. But the way he's been has been recent . I know this often happens to plays the good guy then the real person comes out. But how can he keep that up for 3 years .

Just found out he's not actually at the hospital yet. They are waiting for an ambulance.

OP posts:
BaconCozzers · 18/04/2024 18:29

Poor baby. This is so difficult you have my sympathy op. The autism is irrelevant to me, autism doesn't make you swallow bleach or make you an abusive arsehole. It's information, not explanation.

How old are they? The baby?

This is heaven and earth territory op. I'd be moving it if I could possibly get them away from him. x

BaconCozzers · 18/04/2024 18:30

Just seen your update. He'll live.

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 18/04/2024 18:32

My dd was in a similar type of relationship, he was charged with domestic abuse.

Threatening suicide can be considered coercive control.

I would be going back through everything with her and seeing if police involvement is appropriate here to protect your dd.

Gymmum82 · 18/04/2024 18:35

She needs to stay away from him and keep that baby as far away as possible. He’s an abuser. Soon he will start manipulating and abusing the child too

LIZS · 18/04/2024 18:37

Surely it would be quicker to drive him to a and e? Why has his mum called her but not reacted?

TraitorsGate · 18/04/2024 18:40

LIZS · 18/04/2024 18:37

Surely it would be quicker to drive him to a and e? Why has his mum called her but not reacted?

This or get a taxi. If he is in a life threatening condition his mum needs to call the ambulance again.

Lalalalalabambaa · 18/04/2024 18:42

BaconCozzers · 18/04/2024 18:29

Poor baby. This is so difficult you have my sympathy op. The autism is irrelevant to me, autism doesn't make you swallow bleach or make you an abusive arsehole. It's information, not explanation.

How old are they? The baby?

This is heaven and earth territory op. I'd be moving it if I could possibly get them away from him. x

Edited

THIS. He's an abusive, dangerous individual. Please do everything in your power to keep your daughter and grandchild away from him. I wish someone had done that for me when I was a similar age.

Motnight · 18/04/2024 18:42

Obviously not life threatening enough to actually need to get medical help quickly..

ASighMadeOfStone · 18/04/2024 18:44

Concentrate your energy on your daughter, not her abusive partner, and help her to understand she needs to be free of him.

HappyEater · 18/04/2024 18:44

LIZS · 18/04/2024 18:37

Surely it would be quicker to drive him to a and e? Why has his mum called her but not reacted?

Easy to see where the generational manipulative drama comes from

Intheair24 · 18/04/2024 18:52

LIZS · 18/04/2024 18:37

Surely it would be quicker to drive him to a and e? Why has his mum called her but not reacted?

She does not drive. 10 min walk from hospital. Maybe he's refuses to walk or something I have no idea. She's probably scared as well I should think.

What di you mean his mum called her but not reacted?

OP posts:
buswankerz · 18/04/2024 19:00

This is not your dds fault. This is a dv relationship and she needs out.

DrJoanAllenby · 18/04/2024 19:01

Hopefully he will be enduring some kind of stomach pump or other horrible procedure.

He's only done it because he's a nasty piece of work and it's now the ideal time for your daughter to cut all times.

How embarrassing to have a boyfriend who is so stupid he drinks fabric conditioner?!

Candleabra · 18/04/2024 19:05

What di you mean his mum called her but not reacted?

that Mum called DD first to make her feel bad rather than prioritise the seemingly urgent medical issues and get her son to a hospital.
Says a lot about the situation.

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 18/04/2024 19:08

Candleabra · 18/04/2024 19:05

What di you mean his mum called her but not reacted?

that Mum called DD first to make her feel bad rather than prioritise the seemingly urgent medical issues and get her son to a hospital.
Says a lot about the situation.

Exactly.

If one of my kids swallowed bleach I would be calling an ambulance and then taking whatever medical advice the operator gave me, packing a bag for the hospital etc, not calling or messaging their gf to make them feel bad before the ambulance even arrived.

Hermittrismegistus · 18/04/2024 19:09

If someone drinks bleach you get them medical treatment asap.

His mother probably knows he is lying.