Thread 13 - TalkLair: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 12).

Looks like spring has sprung! Tulips, apple blossom and early hay fever are upon us. In the TalkLair, we remain hunkered down keeping cosy and warm, because "something something 'til May is out". The hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

@SinnerBoy Poor little cat good for SinnerBaby. Maybe not the most appropriate response but a bloody effective one.

@duc748 Christ! I had no idea there were still people on board.

Oh those poor sailors! Without their phones even!

Wow! I didn't know there were still people on board either!

I am absolutely condoning SinnerGirl slapping that boy and if I knew who she was I would buy her an ice cream for standing up for herself, with a bonus scoop because the nasty little bully cried.

I can't believe the attitude to those sailors - they seem to be treating them like would-be illegal immigrants. Because hey, if you want to stay in America you just bribe the Baltimore pilot to take out a bridge.

Douze Points to SinnerDaughter! The fact that the nasty boy cried is just hilarious, and I'd have had trouble telling her off.

I know we have proper gardeners on here, so rather than brave the gardening threads, is it okay to ask for a recommendation? We inherited a Kerria Japonica (the sort that looks like bamboo with yellow flowers and gets everywhere) which has at last turned up its invasive toes. It thrived on neglect, so eventually I tried watering it to death and that did the trick. The last of it went in the bin today - yeeha!

So I now have a space roughly 1 x 2 metres, right next to a 5-foot wall to the south and a 6-foot gate to the east. (Note the helpful combo of metric and imperial there.) So it faces north and only really gets the evening sun. I'd like something bright and cheerful to replace it, but it needs to Know Its Place! Any ideas? We're on the N.E. Kent coast, so mild climate.

Not a proper gardener but there’s I pyracantha in an especially unpromising corner of my garden that seems indestructible. It’s not the most exciting plant but it’s lovely when it’s covered in berries and it’s evergreen.

There's a Kerria blight about. I'm rather sad that it looks as though I'm about to lose all three of mine - two doubles one single.

Pyracantha would be good if spiky, one of the shrubby cotoneasters could look good, Weigelia, in Ireland I'd suggest a fuchsia, not sure what your winters are like.

@DeanElderberry Our winters are positively tropical by UK standards - in 10 years we've often had overnight frost, but only once had enough snow to settle - think Lisburn-sur-mer! (I was at school there, and a friend - aged 18 - had never seen snow!)

@artant Pyracantha might well do the job. Thank you. As the location is somewhere I rarely look at, it really doesn't need to be "exciting" and evergreen is good.

We’re planning our garden and there is an area we want to plant to provide some slight screen for the new patio (when it’s built!) from the street , to which it is otherwise very exposed. It needs to be about twelve feet long but is fairly flexible for depth. I want a crab apple tree and one of those japonicas that has coral colour flowers in spring and quince-like fruit in the autumn. The site gets plenty of sun. Any suggestions for shrubs that would have colour and/or foliage interest in summer/autumn?

How about a Hypericum, Brit? https://www.rhs.org.uk/plants/332180/hypericum-hidcoteense-hidcote/details ours is covered in flowers for most of the summer and autumn.

That’s pretty - does it grow in Zone 4a?

I thought about a potentilla too.

Gonners & VictorianBigot

Douze Points to SinnerDaughter! The fact that the nasty boy cried is just hilarious, and I'd have had trouble telling her off.

I was trying to keep a straight face as I gave her the bland, "OK, he was horrible, but you mustn't hit people," speech.

I. Am. Fascinated. 🐌

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5075988-farming-garden-snails-weird-or-not

@Gonners you could try a Clematis. Clematis 'Nelly Moser' is very pretty and would do well in a spot like that.

Good on your daughter for standing up for herself, Sinner, but I wonder about a boy who bullies and then bursts into tears when challenged.

Or a Japanese quince, Chaenomoles. This one is pretty and the fruits are edible.

https://www.rhs.org.uk/plants/54394/chaenomeles-speciosa-moerloosei/details

I'm all for the snail farmer!

A start point for your shrub would be to think do you want to aim at a colour scheme and if so, what? And is it a place where you can add in an extra splash to contrast with or complement what you have planted - one big pot of bulbs or annuals can really lift an area.

Love the snail farming thread. What a good idea!

4a might be tricky. I think it's hardy to zone 5.

In my garden Hypericium grows like a weed, literally - I've never planted any and yet multiple young plants have popped up all over. Apart from one which conveniently appeared in a useful spot, I keep pulling them out.

I love the idea of snail farming. But even I* feel a little bit unkeen on eating snails. I'll bear it in mind though, for our brave new post-Brexit, post-pandemic, ongoing-CoL-crisis, Britain.

*Generally extremely adventurous eater.

We're kind of on the border of zones 4 and 5 here - we may be 4b. However we're on the coast, which stays milder generally, and the winters are nowhere near as harsh as they were 20 years ago so it might be worth the risk planting the hypericum. If the local nurseries sell it is usually a good way of finding out!

Our old house has a lot of those chaenomeles bushes and they are glorious in the spring. I used to make jelly from the fruit (high in pectin so also good for mixing with non or low pectin fruit for preserves.

There used to be what I now know to be a hypericum here. It was in the wrong place and blocked the view of the garden, was starting to take over and the colour was all wrong for where it was. Lots of flowers, which is something this garden does need, but it had to go.

I don't think I could do the snail thing* but those who've told her she's being unreasonable are hypocrites. No one is forcing them to do it too.

*I have eaten snails in a restaurant and they were bloody lovely. Loads of garlic helps. I just couldn't do the whole thing myself because I'm a woose.

As of today I've been in hospital for three weeks. I might have added a couple of days to my stay today because I forgot my blood pressure was pretty low, got up too quickly and instead of sitting down grabbed my walker and it was all too late which I realised as I started to fall. No big damage apart from a very bruised and sore right knee, bruised right hip, and bruised upper right back. They gave me a CT scan of my head which I hit and my skull is intact!

I am a great big f-ing idiot. I'm hoping Monday at the latest 🙏

Oh Mouse, that sounds really frustrating but also a sign that maybe hospital is the right place to be just now. Hope you’re packed off home to Francis on Monday though!