Thread 13 - TalkLair: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 12).

Looks like spring has sprung! Tulips, apple blossom and early hay fever are upon us. In the TalkLair, we remain hunkered down keeping cosy and warm, because "something something 'til May is out". The hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

Thank You and Happy New Thread!

Early hay fever has been around since January here, blasted global warming encouraging the Hazel bushes to bestrew the world with their encapsulated male gametes.

I eventually gave in a couple of weeks ago and started taking a piriton every night - it's amazing to discover that breathing doesn't have to be painful.

Hay fever bad here over the last few weeks but this week I’ve had an actual cold to make breathing a challenge.

Hooray for new thread! I remember when it was all just pixels around here....

ISTR we have some professional gardeners around here? I just had a call from my elder son today - the autistic one who has been sleeping in the back of his van for the last couple of months. He's been on UC but has been doing some cash in hand work gardening, as he worked for a gardener for a couple of years and had some training from him. Anyway that work seems to be building up, and I am willing to spring for some basic equipment for him, so he has an appointment with the job centre on Friday to talk to them about coming off UC and becoming self-employed. Now this is not our first rodeo here, and every other time it has been pretty disastrous in that he doesn't do basic things like put away money for tax or pay NI.

I'm happy that he has work he likes to do and has a skill set for, but concerned about trouble ahead and lack of organization and knowledge of things that most of us would know about. So far I've managed to persuade him that he has to keep receipts for all expenditure related to work and a note of every penny he gets paid. He gives me all the correct verbals about how yes he will do all the organizational stuff, but bitter experience has taught me to doubt this.

I don't know how he's going to find somewhere to live as self-employed people aren't exactly welcome as renters, but if he can show some income he might get a room in an HMO. It doesn't help being 3000 miles away, of course, and his habit of telling me what he thinks I want to hear.

Is there any advice anybody feels like offering?

I can't really think of much, but perhaps you could suggest Quick Books, or something similar?

DeanElderberry · Yesterday 18:28

¢I have - seen my first swallow, eaten my first strawberries (imported, Dutch I think) and seen my first butterfly (tiny little Holly blue) so I think Spring is very belatedly starting to do its thing.^

I've seen a few tortoiseshells her, but when we down South for Easter, there were loads. It was brimming with brimstones.

@Britinme @SinnerBoy I was going to suggest Quick Books too, but I guess the problem is you can't be sure he'll actually use it!

Meanwhile, this is appalling and from the stories on this thread, surprisingly common!
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/uk/5051479-man-let-into-my-premier-inn-hotel-room-late-at-night?

In fact, my dad did this recently!

My parents had gone back to our home town for the Qing Ming (tomb-sweeping) festival. After the journey dad said he was tired and wanted to lie down in the hotel room, so mum popped out to the prayer supplies shop alone and told him to stay put (rookie error). While she was gone, dad wandered out of the room looking for her, made his way down to reception, forgot what floor/room number they were in, then wandered back up to a different floor. There, he found a chambermaid and told her that he was in [presumably pointed at random door] and had forgotten his key. Unbelievably, she just opened the door for him! Turned out there was a very surprised couple already in the room. Mum found this out when the hotel phoned her in a panic.

Part of me wonders what would have happened if the random room hadn't been occupied. Would dad have just gone in and fallen asleep and been "lost" for hours?

He only has an iPad and a phone so I had a look at Quick Books Solopreneur, which charges £20 a month. I'll mention it to him but I have my doubts to be honest - looks complicated. Basically I think he needs to be employed by somebody else who will do that kind of admin. He was working for another gardening guy a year or two ago, and I was under the delusion that this was regular employment and working well, but then it turned out that this guy expected people to be self-employed. I'm sure all sorts of employment laws were being broken. I'm mainly worried about the homelessness situation at the moment. Unfortunately my son is just too high-functioning for social services to help him out, and not quite high-functioning enough for stability. Of course I had no idea about this 22 years ago when I went to America as his autism wasn't diagnosed until he was in his early 30s. He's 45 now.

Hello new thread!

Hi Brit. I'm an accountant and don't think he needs Quickbooks unless he will do his own accounts, which I don't recommend anyway. Ideally he'd be employed by someone decent who'd look after everything for him. All he really needs is an invoice book like this:

https://www.yorkshiretrading.com/products/invoice-duplicate-book-1-80?variant=41906285346966&currency=GBP&utmsource=google&utmmmedium=cpc&utmcampaign=google%2Bshopping&srsltid=AfmBOopJdgg_Y7fSoK0NZW-NrawNUByb-tqa5Pj9ZvmKysemAlfhZ8DLfZI

To record all his income and to keep receipts for expenses in a safe place and records of his customers and jobs, so he can claim for use of his car.

We manage payments for some non resident clients and their gardeners often use invoice books like that. I doubt a jobbing gardener has many expenses so he'll be taxed on almost everything. If his income in a year is say £24,000, he needs to put aside about 15% of everything he gets, for tax and NIC in a separate bank account and not touch it except to pay tax.

If he can't do all of that he shouldn't start working as self employed or he could get in a terrible tangle.

How bizarre I've just posted a reply to Brit but it's been hidden by MN while they take a look at it. It's all about accounting and tax. Watch this space...

Kucinghitam · Yesterday 08:03

SinnerBoy I was going to suggest Quick Books too, but I guess the problem is you can't be sure he'll actually use it!

Yes, I suppose you have a good point.

I went out cycling this morning, I went to a cycle shop, to get a pump attachment for my daughter's tyre, she has a puncture. They didn't have any, but they're on order. They also didn't have a bracket for the frame attachment which holds my pump, it's half broken.

Never mind, it was 50-50 exercise and mission anyway.

Near home on the way back, I moved into an advanced cycle box and the sour old bloke in the car behind started revving his engine, presumably to let me know he wasn't happy that I was utilising the road furniture (?) as intended.

The light turned amber and he beeped and shouted, "It's fucking green!" Well, it was by then, but call me picky, I didn't want to ride into several cars running the red on the right. I set off and heard him stall. The next light is less than 50m away and I looked behind to see him stuck.

I didn't laugh, honest!

I would definitely have laughed.

I seem to recall BezMills used a company to take care of taxes etc when he was contracting. Not sure if there is similar for self employment rather than contractors.

Here, for no particular reason beyond it being today's rabbit hole, is House of the Rising Sun in medieval French:

Using a company when you're a jobbing gardener would massively increase costs and complexity and give no benefit overall.

I certainly wouldn't recommend it routinely, but for someone who can't keep on top of it themselves paid help of some sort might be a better option than not being able to keep the business going.

Thanks folks and especially @MmePoppySeedDefage for very helpful thoughts. I've sent them to my son and I hope he sees them before he goes for his interview at the job centre to discuss any possible help setting up a business.

Asked my mum about what kind of UTI test they did on my dad - utter bewilderment, to nobody's surprise. But apparently he is slightly improved these last few days.

Meanwhile FiL is loving his new flat. Only problem is that he doesn't yet have a phone line and is therefore only contactable on his mobile. Those of us with, um, older (I mean this as a state of mind rather than a chronological absolute ) relatives can probably see where this is going. Had a series of panicked messages on the family WhatsApp this morning because "nobody can get hold of Dad and it's been 2 whole days, can somebody drive round and check?"

BTW, is anybody else finding this weather lately bloody miserable and unseasonably cold? DDs are doing practice DoE camping next weekend and we're seriously considering buying a whole new set of Antarctic-level sleeping bags for them.

It's sunny here, but with strong wind. It's only 9° and I've been out on the motorbike for a few errands and am cold.

It was hailing really hard here in West London this morning!

I hate this weather. There’s just too much rain, too much of the time. No hail here today though. I suppose that’s something. (There was hail a few days ago though.)

I got a WordPress site a few years ago and have only just got around to developing it - here it is for interested parties.

And here is a picture of the groundhog who lives under my garage. DH is threatening to forcibly evict him when we have our new patio and do up the garden (not sure if he's going to bury the body under said patio...)

The groundhog!

Do you have your own Punxsatawney Phil ceremony each year?

I don't think he'd let me get near enough to pick him up to see if he can see his shadow!

He looks very chonky!

Why does your DH want to evict him? He looks harmless.

Does anyone else find they keep on losing subscriptions to specific threads? In my case it's this (and its predecessor #12), and the general feminism chat thread. I always use the iPad app, and I've tried deleting and reloading but it still happens.