Do you sneak off to have sex with your partner in the middle of the day?

[SugarMitts]

This is a bit of an ongoing discussion between me & DH, he says lots of his friends say they will sneak off upstairs while the kids are engrossed in play or watching a film or whatever to have sex and has tried to persuade me to do it a few times

But I just can not possibly imagine how anyone can get horny hearing kids playing in the other room, the thought alone makes me feel really weird and honestly I think it’s a bit gross!

Do you do this?! How!?! Don’t you need time to switch from Mum to horny person? Isn’t it off putting knowing the kids are up and awake and right there?
Or am I right in thinking this is just one of those things that people joke about but no one actually does?

It's obviously situational. If your child is a toddler; unsupervised; able to walk in; overhear; you're taking 30 mins to finish; doing this daily.. then it's clearly not ok.

If your children are old enough to play in the from front garden alone, they're probably school age. So people who don't shag at lunchtime with kids around do it when they're napping, in bed at night, at school, at friends, at family's....

My kids don’t ever try to get out of their high chairs, I had just turned the tv on for them while they waited for dinner (they were glued), I was in earshot of them and my eldest can talk and would not hesitate to tell me if her brother was being naughty, I could have been in there within seconds.

Please don’t make out like I’m a bad mother or that I put my children in danger based on your circumstances, because I didn’t.

You don’t have to agree with what I did, but I will not be made to feel dirty/ ashamed/ neglectful or disgusting for being intimate with my husband out of the sight of my children.

I’m not judging you for not having sex in a month because of ‘kids’.

Sometimes judgement and self-reflection is ok. It's not really ideal to have two toddlers in high chairs and another child watching, to give a BJ/have intimate time (when you should be having family time). It wasn't the best time to be doing that.

I regret doing similar, when I felt pressured to do it. It wasn't the right time or place. I'm not going to dwell on it an flagellate myself. It's not the end of the world. Also, not really the hill I want to die on, or something I want to normalise or do again.

It was 2 toddlers both safely strapped into high chairs. I was out of the room, but in earshot, for 5 minutes.

We are both at home all day, everyday (self-employed) so no shortage of family time.

You might not agree, but I stand by the fact that I did nothing wrong.

We are allowed to have different opinions.

Ah yes I can see some people are priviliedged by

Work from home/can have sex while kids are at school of
Kids go to families overnight. Going to friend's makes no difference as 2 kids so 1 kid being away makes no difference.

So many people are actually out at work during the day and don't have family to shop kids off to!! (definitely a plus of both wfh)

Not saying it is dirty for having sex with your husband. Crack on. Healthy sex life is important for the relationship. Just saying how can you be sure your children are safe if you leave them alone in another room and don't check for a while? You can't be sure as you obviously can't check.

I am sure, for a multitude of reasons, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

We do! Plenty of opportunities. I feel sex is important in a relationship. Sometimes we get horny when it's daylight - it's not a bad thing and I wouldn't like to have a routine of sex only night time in bed with the lights off.

I just don’t understand how people can get horny around children … and how they don’t see a problem with that?! 😳

My children are always with me when I'm home... So yeah unless I'm leaving getting horny til they're 18 😂

Because feeling horny is something completely internal. It's not like anyone else knows whether I'm horny or not.

No-ones shocked that you're hungry or thirsty around other people, why is horny any different, it's just a biological process. Yeah it's not appropriate to display it around the kids, but no-ones claiming to be snogging their partner in front of the kids, they're disappearing off to the privacy of the bedroom.

I have to say I agree! My DC are a total turn off which is correct and natural!

Interesting, to me being horny isn’t involuntary in the way hunger or thirst is
I think I would feel dirty (for want of a better word) having fanny flutters with a child in my face, I just cannot compute those 2 things happening at the same time

So, in the same vein, if all the daytime shaggers’ partners weren’t around would you sneak off to another room to masturbate??

I have to say I agree! My DC are a total turn off which is correct and natural!

Well that's good to hear 😂

For most people, it's at least partially a biological drive they have no control over. Do you not remember being a teenager and just being constantly horny? I can remember there being times I desperately wanted it to just stop, so I could bloody concentrate on what I'm doing.

And for my DP at least how horny she is is directly linked to her hormones. There's a week in every month where she's practically climbing me, and then the rest of the time she's not interested.

I'm not suggesting that I'm walking around with a semi, or thinking about sex with DP while playing with my kid. But if they're sitting in the other room watching a film and I see an opportunity to bugger off upstairs with DP, why would I turn it down?

Not a quick shag, but giving the DH a quick de-stressing blowjob while the little ones are strapped in their high chairs in the next room.

You never know what happens behind closed doors in a marriage do you? 😝.

I have no judgment at all, just that it's the last thing that I'd have wanted to do with littlies but each to their own (and lucky DH!)

I’m pregnant, should I not have sex anymore because there’s a child… nearby? 😂

That's the issue, just because you don't understand it doesn't make it wrong! You've got people on here that won't have sex with their children IN THE HOUSE! Eh!

Most adults like sex and whilst ever their children are not witnessing it it's perfectly fine - whenever that is, whatever time of day! I can want to have sex with my husband whilst simultaneously knowing I'm gonna have to feed my kid in a bit! Amazing how a functioning multi-layered thought process works.

One of the most powerful orgasms I’ve ever had was 5 weeks post partum with baby asleep in cradle in same room. And shock horror, it was daylight! It must’ve been good cos that was 23 years ago! 😂

Keyword: asleep, newborn.

Who hadn't had sex with a newborn in the room? More than half their life, they're unconscious.

Same applies to pregnancy. Not quite the Sam as having children awake and walking around the house, where you can hear them, they're calling for you...

I find my dp really attractive and I still fancy him. So, say he's doing some diy, for example or some heavy lifting in the garden and he takes his top off, that would make me feel horny.

Or we're both making tea and have a kiss and a cuddle whilst doing so, kissing him can turn me on.

But no, I don't find doing things with the kids makes me horny

Same something not quite right there

No, I think it’s completely gross. My parents used to do this and we could overhear and I still feel traumatised (40+ years later) from the embarrassment it used to cause between myself and my siblings

We do this quite often. Usually sneak off to share a shower because the door locks when the kids are occupied with the TV or gaming. Honestly just too tried to be having sex when they are all asleep most of the time now they are a bit older and go to bed later. It's healthy to have an active sex life in a relationship.

There's been a few times where someone's come upstairs like " mum blah blah is doing blah blah" and I've had to say "ok I'm just having a shower will be out in a min" and that's an instant mood killer so it'll be over but 95% of the time they don't bother us.

We're quiet about it and the shower also makes noise. They can't come in the room. I don't see the problem.

once They hit tween/teen status and are prone to never leaving their room and staying up later than the adults, sneaking off in the middle of the day is the easiest.

the best is if the kids are in school and you both wfh and can schedule your lunch break at the same time.