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Original poster

Do you sneak off to have sex with your partner in the middle of the day?

212 replies

SugarMitts · 16/04/2024 16:36

This is a bit of an ongoing discussion between me & DH, he says lots of his friends say they will sneak off upstairs while the kids are engrossed in play or watching a film or whatever to have sex and has tried to persuade me to do it a few times

But I just can not possibly imagine how anyone can get horny hearing kids playing in the other room, the thought alone makes me feel really weird and honestly I think it’s a bit gross!

Do you do this?! How!?! Don’t you need time to switch from Mum to horny person? Isn’t it off putting knowing the kids are up and awake and right there?
Or am I right in thinking this is just one of those things that people joke about but no one actually does?

OP posts:
noonesayscheese · 17/04/2024 00:15

Disturbia81 · 16/04/2024 20:03

Pretty sure he's doing that thing where he makes stuff up to make you feel pressured. Like "so and sos wife always does xyz"

I think the same.

2under4 · 17/04/2024 00:27

I mean... families did used to just live in one big hall, so presumably were shagging in front of each other quite frequently? Not that I'm suggesting this, but in light of that, a private room when the kids are blissfully unaware doesn't seem that bad really.

I literally never have sex myself, so it's a moot point!

Edited to say, if you don't want to though, you shouldn't feel pressured. So whether other people do or not is also a moot point.

2under4 · 17/04/2024 00:35

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 16/04/2024 22:00

@Bobbotgegrinch

I don't thinking people are separating mums from horny people, more so getting that feeling whilst being around their children.

being with my children completely stamps out any chance of being 'gagging for a shag'.

Do poo-splosions and endless chatter about Paw Patrol not do it for you then??

CombatBarbie · 17/04/2024 00:46

Why wouldn't you? I mean dependant on kids ages, but if you can leave them playing to clean bathroom or do laundry, you can leave them to have adult time.

theduchessofspork · 17/04/2024 00:56

Yes pretty regularly

We have a lock on the door, and a music system

theduchessofspork · 17/04/2024 00:59

Greywitch2 · 16/04/2024 16:49

Never. We only have adult DC now, but I can guarantee you that at the time they were younger then ONE of the buggers would have burst through the door going, 'Mum?' at some point. Or they'd have been shouting all over the house for us.

Your DH is odd. And actually, yeah - I feel a bit gross thinking that he could sustain an erection knowing his children are about. Is it the 'naughtiness' of it? Or the chance of being caught? Because that is pretty creepy, to be honest.

Are you crazy? Do you have to have your kids out of the house before you have sex? Having sex with your partner isn’t creepy, and there is zero chance of being caught if you have a lock on your door. Plus music

Moro93 · 17/04/2024 01:05

We do on occasion if we’re both up for it. If the kids are downstairs and engrossed in a video game they’re completely oblivious to everything around them anyway. 2 of our stairs are creaky so we’d hear them coming and on the off chance we didn’t then we have a slip bolt on our door for this reason 😂 We lock the door if we ever have sex when they’re in bed at night, just in case.

I wouldn’t be able to do it if they were in their room awake, only if they’re downstairs. Even then, sometimes it can be a bit off putting so I only ever do it if I’m really horny and it’s always just a quickie, no long sessions. When they go for a sleepover with family then we can have a long, noisy session 😂

Delphinium20 · 17/04/2024 01:08

Yes. It was easier to when they were little as we'd make it a treat to let them watch a show with snacks...no way were they getting up from the TV when Elsa was singing. You got to find time when it works!

SemperIdem · 17/04/2024 01:16

Have done on a number of occasions. Never really given it much thought as to whether it is usual or not to be honest.

WitchyWay · 17/04/2024 01:17

Nope. I'm not doing it unless I orgasm and there's no way I'd orgasm knowing my kids are downstairs and potentially about to interrupt any minute.

Honestly, I think either your husband is bullshitting you to get you to do it, or his mates are.

Just do it when you go to bed? Surely teens aren't knocking on your bedroom door at 10pm?

Maddie212 · 17/04/2024 08:57

What is so disgusting about people doing something completely normal in the privacy of their own home?? Or are we no longer allowed to have sex because we’re parents?

Sorry, are you the one who left your toddlers strapped In high chairs to have sex? Leaving your toddlers alone to have sex is not an essential part of a good sex life. Pretty silly to think it is.

And I'm not saying I've never done it. I have when pressured am I should have said no because it's nasty. Are you ok with your DH going in the next room to wank and/or watch porn whilst t he children are in the next room?

RomeoRivers · 17/04/2024 10:36

Maddie212 · 17/04/2024 08:57

What is so disgusting about people doing something completely normal in the privacy of their own home?? Or are we no longer allowed to have sex because we’re parents?

Sorry, are you the one who left your toddlers strapped In high chairs to have sex? Leaving your toddlers alone to have sex is not an essential part of a good sex life. Pretty silly to think it is.

And I'm not saying I've never done it. I have when pressured am I should have said no because it's nasty. Are you ok with your DH going in the next room to wank and/or watch porn whilst t he children are in the next room?

We didn’t have sex. I had 5 mins spare while waiting for dinner to be ready. Both children were safely strapped into high chairs and watching tv.

How is what I did any different to if I had taken the washing upstairs/ gone to the toilet/ tidied the playroom? At no point did I say it was essential. The OP asked if other married couples stole moments in the day to be intimate. I said yes and gave an example.

There is nothing ‘nasty’ about having a quick moment of intimacy or showing affection to your partner. There seems to be a lot of sex shaming on this thread.

Watching porn and wanking is not comparable to what I did.

BodyKeepingScore · 17/04/2024 11:00

@Maddie212 why are you talking about sec and masturbation as though they're something shameful? Plenty of parents have sex in their homes with their children in the house? Ditto masturbating? So long as a child isn't in view or earshot of what's going on then why is that a problem?

Branleuse · 17/04/2024 11:34

I'm amazed how upright so many people are about people wanting to sneak in a quickie with their actual husbands and life partners.
I am surprised that others are surprised about the fact that some people are absolutely fine with fancying their husband, even if their children are awake!

Maddie212 · 17/04/2024 12:12

@RomeoRivers watchingborn not being the same is such a cop out. It's exactly the same. Are you happy for your husband to strap the kids up and disappear to masturbate in the loo?

You do you, but leaving your kids in the high chair so you can do sexual acts or 'intimate time' is not appropriate and is also a safety risk.

Maddie212 · 17/04/2024 12:17

BodyKeepingScore · 17/04/2024 11:00

@Maddie212 why are you talking about sec and masturbation as though they're something shameful? Plenty of parents have sex in their homes with their children in the house? Ditto masturbating? So long as a child isn't in view or earshot of what's going on then why is that a problem?

Oh look. The 'if you disagree with me sneaking away and leaving my children to have sex unattended, then you're just a prude who is ashamed and hates sex'.

I love sex and self pleasure. It's not for when children are awake an wondering around house, possibly distressed and wanting to follow with you because that's what small children do.

lul1 · 17/04/2024 12:18

Not a chance. How could you be in the mood. Disgusting!!

RomeoRivers · 17/04/2024 12:35

Maddie212 · 17/04/2024 12:12

@RomeoRivers watchingborn not being the same is such a cop out. It's exactly the same. Are you happy for your husband to strap the kids up and disappear to masturbate in the loo?

You do you, but leaving your kids in the high chair so you can do sexual acts or 'intimate time' is not appropriate and is also a safety risk.

It’s not a safety risk.

How is anyone supposed to go to the toilet, or indeed do anything with young children, if we must all be at their side every second of the day? I didn’t put them in the high chairs in order to facilitate that moment. They were already there in preparation for dinner and I had an expected free moment.

Please explain exactly what was ‘inappropriate’ about a married couple indulging in a quick and private moment of intimacy before dinner?

Do you object to the fact that it was 5pm? Is sex only ‘appropriate’ as a nighttime activity?

Do you object to the fact that I am a mother? Is sex only ‘appropriate’ for those that are child-free?

Do you object to the fact that I can swap emotions between tasks, without there being an overlap? Is sex only ‘appropriate’ if we carve out set times for the feeling of desire?

longtompot · 17/04/2024 12:52

Not with them at home as I could never relax enough not to worry one would come up at the wrong moment. But on Fridays when they were all at school we'd go out for a pub lunch and go to bed when we got home, making sure to set an alarm for school pick up time.

RomeoRivers · 17/04/2024 12:54

Maddie212 · 17/04/2024 12:17

Oh look. The 'if you disagree with me sneaking away and leaving my children to have sex unattended, then you're just a prude who is ashamed and hates sex'.

I love sex and self pleasure. It's not for when children are awake an wondering around house, possibly distressed and wanting to follow with you because that's what small children do.

Show quote history

‘Distressed’ children desperately trying to get their parents’ attention is a huge leap from what PPs have said.

Everyone has stated that their children were happy and otherwise engaged, and that precautions were taken to prevent them from being disturbed/ walked in on.

thinkofnewname · 17/04/2024 13:14

So when my kids were small we coslept so bedtime wasn't possible.

We were at work during the day.

When we're we supposed to have sex then?

The example of Friday lunches/during the day - we'll thats great if you both work part time!!

It seems like some people on here think parents should never have sex...

My kids are early teens now so actually 10pm they're all of 2meters away from me in their bedroom and actually more likely to hear.

When do people think we should have sex? Most parents are at work in the day and have kids home the rest of the time!

GameOfJones · 17/04/2024 14:52

Honestly, I think either your husband is bullshitting you to get you to do it, or his mates are.

So what, everyone on here saying yes they have done it is lying then? Perhaps you think OP's husband or his mates have snuck onto this thread to make bullshit posts up?

lul1 · 17/04/2024 15:01

thinkofnewname · 17/04/2024 13:14

So when my kids were small we coslept so bedtime wasn't possible.

We were at work during the day.

When we're we supposed to have sex then?

The example of Friday lunches/during the day - we'll thats great if you both work part time!!

It seems like some people on here think parents should never have sex...

My kids are early teens now so actually 10pm they're all of 2meters away from me in their bedroom and actually more likely to hear.

When do people think we should have sex? Most parents are at work in the day and have kids home the rest of the time!

Don't is the answer to your question.

If there is the chance a child or teen could see hear or figure out what you're doing.

Can't you control yourself.

You need sex so badly that you can be turned on when your kids are downstairs or next door?

Are you 15?? It's disgusting. 🤢

thinkofnewname · 17/04/2024 15:23

What not have sex for 18 years til they leave home??

Wanting sex with your husband is disgusting? Are you joking?

thinkofnewname · 17/04/2024 15:24

And isn't that part of being a parent. We go upstairs when they're watching a movie downstairs for example on a sat morning. You have to be inventive.

Or did you give up sex after becoming a parent?