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How would you react if you saw a 3 yo trying to deliberately step on a cat's tail?

181 replies

TotesDelulu · 15/04/2024 14:26

For context, child is 3.8 (4 this summer), the parent is my friend who was out of sight at the far end of the garden (it's a big garden) making a phone call. Cat is 15 with arthritis and was snoozing in the sun.

I was inside washing up and looking out if the closed kitchen window when I saw child looking down at floor and moving strangely. I stood on tiptoes and moved to the side to get a view of child's feet and realised they were trying to step on the cat's swishing tail. I yelled "[CHILD] STOP IT, YOU DO NOT STEP ON THE CAT'S TAIL" extremely loudly through the window just as the child's foot came down on the end of cat's tail. Child jumped backwards then looked round to see who had shouted. I went and opened back door, crouched down and said "[Child] I need to talk to you" at normal volume and in a normal tone of voice but child ran off toward friend who had heard me shout and come to see what the problem was.

Friend has now got the hump and gone home because a) they don't shout and b) child claims not to have been stepping on tail. I don't usually shout either especially not at other people's DC, but child was outside, no parent in sight, windows and doors shut, and I was worried for my poor old cat and wanted to intervene fast enough to prevent a tail injury!

I am absolutely 100% certain that's what child was doing, I would never have shouted had I not been certain.

So how would anyone else have reacted?

OP posts:
wplaf · 15/04/2024 15:34

I don't like cats, but I still feel sorry for your cat OP. The child needed telling and it sounds like the mother is far too indulgent. I can see the child might not understand that standing on the tail would hurt the cat, but the mother must understand that and she needed to explain that to the child at the very least. And apologiwe to you.

I wouldn't have her over. She has no respect for your pet.

Purplevioletsherbert · 15/04/2024 15:34

Shouting serves a purpose - to get you heard from a distance. Shouting isn’t inherently bad!

Crumpleton · 15/04/2024 15:35

TotesDelulu · 15/04/2024 14:33

Parent didn't see it happen so maintains child would never do that, thinks I'm mistaken and should believe child (who says they didn't do it).

Parent was at the bottom of the garden out of sight.

You on the other hand weren't and saw exactly what happened.

That's all you need to know in order to verify your actions.

Interested in this thread?

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RottiesRock11 · 15/04/2024 15:36

I would have done the same. You did absolutely the right thing.

caringcarer · 15/04/2024 15:36

You did the right thing to protect your cat. Some parents will never believe their DC could be cruel or bully but they do.

TotesDelulu · 15/04/2024 15:38

Purplevioletsherbert · 15/04/2024 15:34

Shouting serves a purpose - to get you heard from a distance. Shouting isn’t inherently bad!

Exactly. I wasn't shouting as a means of discipline - I'm well aware that it's not very effective to just deafen children into submission. I was shouting to ensure that I got the child's attention immediately. Rapping on the window would have been my first choice had I been able to reach the window but I couldn't and it was going to take me too long to get outside to where I could be heard at normal speaking volume.

OP posts:
blobby10 · 15/04/2024 15:40

When I was in my early 20s (many many years ago!) I was on holiday and watching a duck with her ducklings in a stream near a beach. Little brat next to me (probably about 6) started throwing stones/pebbles at them with his parents watching on! i told him to stop throwing things at the ducks as it wasn't nice - he stopped but parents had a go at me telling me I should mind my own business! Some parents are just shit.

Blackcats7 · 15/04/2024 15:41

Child and parent would have been lucky if I didn’t pick them up by the scruff and hurl them off my property.
Cruelty to animals would bar anyone from ever crossing my threshold ever again
I would also keep an eye out (from the distance as wouldn’t want any more to do with either) for psychopath in the making.

IncompleteSenten · 15/04/2024 15:41

I would have done the same.
Very young children can do some bloody awful shit not because they're bad but because they're little and they aren't fully cooked yet, they are curious about everything and they've got some weird ass intrusive thoughts, little to no impulse control and are still developing empathy.

That's why it's important that the adults around them guide them and sometimes that includes being sharp with them.

One of my sons stamped on a snail when he was very little and I was absolutely furious with him. I think they need to see our anger at times.

caringcarer · 15/04/2024 15:43

I just got on a train once and there were a large family sitting together with 2 women who were chatting with about 4 DC under 6, several older DC too. Two of the young boys opened the door between the carriages and were poking their toes through the gaps on purpose and laughing. I went over and told them to go back to their family and sit down. One of them started crying and I didn't even raise my voice. One of the women came over and told me not to be telling off her DS. Another passenger piped up with 'you should be watching him, then no one else would need to'. Apparently these boys had been climbing over luggage before I got on.

Easipeelerie · 15/04/2024 15:43

This my be of benefit to you as you've likely now lost an annoying friend.

Smokeysgirl · 15/04/2024 15:44

I would have done the same. My young child was once throwing stones over the fence onto my next door neighbours who were sat outside. They shouted at him to stop then knocked on my door and complained. I immediately apologised and made sure he knew it was wrong and not to do it again. I wouldn't have dreamed of getting upset with them that they shouted at him, he deserved it. People are too soft these days!

CatamaranViper · 15/04/2024 15:45

When DS was 2 there was a random cat appeared at the local park. Cat was very friendly and came over for a pat before mooching over to do whatever cats do. DS was beetling around then suddenly went over the cat a kicked it. Came out of absolutely nowhere. I thought he was going over to pat it again, I even said "be careful with the cat".
I raised my voice and shouted at him to stop right now, grabbed his hand and took him straight home (cat was fine, it wasn't a hard kick but still wouldn't have been nice). Yes I spoke to him about it. About a year later he stepped in a snail by accident and cried for about an hour because he was so sad for the snail.

OP I think you did the exact right thing. I would have done the same I think. I have had to tell friends kids off before but my friends trust my judgement and I theirs.

SisterMichael · 15/04/2024 15:48

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3BKOqZvCAH/?igsh=MTRyb3cwZDU2ZnV4ZA==

I wonder if this approach might have been better? <sarcasm alert>

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3BKOqZvCAH/?igsh=MTRyb3cwZDU2ZnV4ZA==

PenelopeTitsdrop1990 · 15/04/2024 15:49

I would have done exactly the same. I certainly wouldn't be inviting the brats back either 😡

fridgegrazer · 15/04/2024 15:51

You did the right thing. My son did the same to our cat when he was a similar age and I did the same as you - shouted out whilst physically getting myself over to him (we were indoors). Then explained carefully - but obviously annoyed - and told him that if he couldn't be trusted to be kind with animals, we couldn't have any pets. He cried - and now he is 36 and seems to have recovered from it.

Did the friend just think you were making up lies about her child, or does she think you couldn't see properly? I wouldn't be in a rush to have a second visit, and if it does happen I would make sure he doesn't come anywhere near your cat.

x2boys · 15/04/2024 15:52

BlackStrayCat · 15/04/2024 15:22

"we need to talk about Kevin"

Not normal to try and hurt a cat.

The child is three
At three my older son wanted to.throw his little brother in the bin ,her 17 now and not a psychopath

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 15/04/2024 15:53

If you shouted at my child as loudly as you've acknowledged you did, then I would speak to you (away from my child) about that as a separate issue. I would not be happy about someone significantly raising their voice at my child regardless of what had actually happened.

I wouldn't be happy about some badly behaved brat treading on my cat's tail and you would have both been asked to leave.

Years ago my friend brought her son round as he wanted to meet my cat. She then proceeded to tell me that the last time he'd met a cat he'd pulled it's ears and tail and seemed to find it funny. When the cat appeared I told her son that if he pulled his ear or tail the cat will bite him and scratch him and possibly make him bleed. He was extremely gentle with my cat after that.

TotesDelulu · 15/04/2024 15:57

SisterMichael · 15/04/2024 15:48

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3BKOqZvCAH/?igsh=MTRyb3cwZDU2ZnV4ZA==

I wonder if this approach might have been better? <sarcasm alert>

😂😂😂

OP posts:
TotesDelulu · 15/04/2024 15:58

x2boys · 15/04/2024 15:52

The child is three
At three my older son wanted to.throw his little brother in the bin ,her 17 now and not a psychopath

Yeah the kid will grow out of it, I'm sure. The 3 year old of someone else I know once asked why they couldn't just throw his new baby brother in the fire to stop him screaming. He's a perfectly lovely 19 yr old now.

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 15/04/2024 15:58

The parent behaves like a soft touch who blindly believes a toddler over a grown adult?

Cant imagine how she’s raised such a little delight of a child 🙄

YANBU.

misszebra · 15/04/2024 15:58

TotesDelulu · 15/04/2024 14:52

I mean, I don't think child is on the way to becoming a serial killer. Just a bit over-indulged and under-supervised!

You say this but there is countless instances of this. Its not normal for a child, over indulged or not, to desire to inflict pain on anyone or anything. All notorious violent criminals showed these behaviours from childhood - including the age of 3.

misszebra · 15/04/2024 16:03

BillieTheFish · 15/04/2024 15:07

Ian Huntley started by pulling legs off spiders and graduated to strangling a puppy.

SO many of these criminals had signs like this early on. Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy to name a few, along with Ian Huntley, ALL inflicted suffering on animals as young children. It is absolutely not a far stretch to link the two.

Tickettothemoon · 15/04/2024 16:07

I have a 3 year old and would 100% want someone to tell them that isn’t how you treat animals if I wasn’t able to speak to them myself.

Jasmin1971 · 15/04/2024 16:07

That child would never be allowed back on my property, no excuses, and crap parenting. Well done for protecting the cat.

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