What is the MOST irritating thing on Mumsnet?

[5YearsLeft]

I saw someone mention that something was “high on the list of most irritating Mumsnet things,” but I couldn’t find a post discussing that list. And now we have polls, I thought it might be interesting, especially “other” stuff.

If my spelling or grammar was incorrect I would prefer if it was pointed out to me.

I get round this by blocking topics. No AIBU for me, along with a whole raft of other topics mentioned on this thread. Still get many of these gripes but I think a lots less.

This is one thing that I have never understood, why the need to put 'I didn't want to read and run' - it makes no difference or sense, either respond or don't.

No one's time is more important than another's.

The gender warriors banging on about 'sunlight' and about organisations being 'captured'.

Oh, and the barf-inducing fawning over 'glinner'.

I never see these kind of threads as I've got topics blocked. It's the way to go.

There is 100% a strong anti men sentiment thriving on this site. Believe me, if you were male you’d notice it a lot more.

I understand why comments minimising abuse are unwelcome and that women might prefer a “safe space” to discuss this, and I usually don’t even consider engaging.

But in general there is a widespread disdain for men on this site, and it’s often quite irritating to read. We are parents too, and we try our best, need some help at times, and we aren’t all useless abusers. Yet threads proclaiming that MN is a network for “women only” are a frequent occurrence with a lot of support. It’s really not nice and the equivalent of getting suspicious looks when I wait around for my daughter, and all people see is a single man standing near a playground.

I don't understand why this is so bad

Agree with so many things already mentioned, particularly the posts describing AIBU threads where - given the info by the OP - nobody in their right minds could say they were being unreasonable, eg "I explained calmly, they screamed; I asked politely, they had a meltdown etc".
Particularly the overuse of "screamed" which covers anything from shouting to a raised voice to a perfectly normal voice which the "screamer" is using to disagree with the OP.

Or OPs asking AIBU when they're obviously just seeking positive strokes and "all of MN stood and cheered" reactions: "AIBU to have called out a CF who was screaming at the shop assistant for saying "Good morning" today? I just couldn't stop myself from standing up for them, but perhaps I was wrong?".

Also, starting a thread with the word "To" in any thread which isn't started in AIBU.
Do people notice that posters use "to" in AIBU (continuing the question) and think it's a convention on MN that all OPs start with that word?
A minor quibble but all my major ones have been mentioned.

Because you get loads of replies telling the OP what pushchair they should buy when the baby is now 9 years old.

Plus a lot of them are bumped by spammers linking to their dodgy website.

There is not a "widespread disdain for men" on here.
I think, @Coshei , if you were a woman you would perhaps understand the issue of safety and caution. Something that your daughter will, unfortunately, have to learn.

When I first joined, it seemed to be a mixture of genuinely useful and helpful threads alongside really funny and witty ones.

For the past five years or so, it’s increasingly a giant bun fight and humour free zone. So I miss the old MN.

I also hate Cancel the Cheque type responses. Just read the OP’s posts at least.

Your conditional needs a comma.
"were incorrect"

Not nice, is it?

I know that's a trope but was there ever an actual thread that said that?

Thanks 😊

My favourite post ever was when someone said she'd been thinking DH stands for Dick Head

This accusation of double standards gets me though. Generally you will get both opposing sides on a thread like that. MN isn't a homogenous mass that all thinks the same way. Unless you're telling me you've clocked the exact same posters saying both things? 🤔

I always read it as the poster is acknowledging the usually sad situation but doesn't have anything they feel is useful to say and doesn't want the OP to feel like no one cares

Faux ignorance/confusion; usually as an attempt to rile people up over a controversial topic whilst looking oh-so-innocent. “But I don’t understaaaaand, what does non-binary even meeeeeean; I just want to learn…” Do you buggery!

Posters saying “We’ve only got the OP’s word for it” or “I suspect this is only one side of the story”. This is true of literally every thread on this and every forum ever!

The annoying trend lately for putting “this is relevant” in brackets after a particular point. I should bloody well hope so - why would you be sharing irrelevant details?!

”You don’t seem to like her very much”. Usually said in a very po-faced way when someone is describing a disagreement with a friend. Surely everyone occasionally gets pissed off with a friend without it being outright dislike/end of friendship territory. I’m certainly not arrogant enough to think I've never done anything to annoy a friend, so why can’t the opposite be true?

”I wouldn’t dreeeeeeaaam of doing XYZ”. It’s so embarrassingly uptight and old-fashioned; I just can’t imagine anyone saying it in real life. And what does it even mean? Is anyone going to actually say “Well yes, I do dream of expecting an inheritance, but I’m not going to say so”?

The oddly twee language some posters insist on using. I never realised adult women used words like “Goodness!”, “Gosh!” and “Oh my!” until I came here. And ridiculously overly flowery language, often in threads about food, and usually used in the misguided belief that it makes them sound more intelligent or interesting. “I also drink lattes, but I cannot listen to this heathen talk of adding brown sugar (sugar! *faints). I will not even allow chocolate sprinkles. The faintest whisper of cinnamon is the only acceptable garnish”. You can shove THAT up your crack.

I’m sorry, but “safety and caution” in an internet forum with publicly visible threads? That should be a consideration no matter the gender of the posters.

Other: idiots posting in AIBU "for traffic", especially when their questions could easily be answered by Google.

You know what I'm talking about.
Women have to be aware of safety, and will give advice which they consider will help other women to keep safe.

I know it isn’t a homogenous mass, I don’t clock posters names, no idea who says what but in my experience, I see a lot of double standards on here…man working FT doesn’t do housework, he’s lazy, you’re not his mum, he should be pulling his weight etc, woman is a poor housekeeper while working FT, she’s told get him to pay a cleaner, you’re not a maid etc etc.

Of course I understand that. But I don’t see how this relates to people demanding MN to be a man-free space or the double standard that other PP referred to. Anyway, this is detailing an interesting thread.

HotChocolateNotCocoa

"But I don’t understaaaaand, what does non-binary evenmeeeeeean; I just want tolearn…”

That's reminded me of another of my minor quibbles. People who want to emphasis/draw out a word and using the wrong letter (usually the last). So the (imo correct) drawn out words above would be typed "understandddddd" and "meannnnnnn".
Yes, I know I can still see what they're getting at and I don't correct it but there is that pin prick of irritation.

Nah, you’re wrong there. The plaintive sound comes from the vowels.