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What is the MOST irritating thing on Mumsnet?

411 replies

5YearsLeft · 13/04/2024 04:43

I saw someone mention that something was “high on the list of most irritating Mumsnet things,” but I couldn’t find a post discussing that list. And now we have polls, I thought it might be interesting, especially “other” stuff.

OP posts:
AE9766 · 13/04/2024 10:16

Sux2buthen · 13/04/2024 08:53

The man hate.

Yeah, this. Funny how most of those man haters and the "OMG A PENIS, LET ME CLUTCH MY PEARLS!!!" brigade are quite happy to lower their standards and entertain both man and penis to get something they want, ie, a child. Awful people.

Givemethesworrrrd · 13/04/2024 10:19

Some of these have been mentioned above but the most irritating things for me would be

The nastiness directed at MILs and step mothers. If you fall into this category you seem to automatically become one of the most unpleasant people on earth.

People who can't comprehend that other people use the chat forums that aren't parents. The site is designed for parents, however, the chat forums are for everyone.... unless you can only have an interest in gardening, reading, owning a pet, being interested in clothes etc. If you are a parent.

Ageism, in both directions. People who constantly use boomer in an insulting way, while older people constantly bash younger people for how easy they seem to have it.

Spelling, if you get the gist of the post (especially if its a sensitive subject) just let it go.

People who post really unhelpful comments, especially if the situation cant be changed.... the what did you expect to happen comments or the you knew he had children before, why did you choose to have a baby with someone who X, Y Z, why can you just get a better job

And the one that really ticks me off but I'm not sure why, why is everything described as vile???

SuziQuinto · 13/04/2024 10:21

Coshei · 13/04/2024 10:10

Of course I understand that. But I don’t see how this relates to people demanding MN to be a man-free space or the double standard that other PP referred to. Anyway, this is detailing an interesting thread.

Who's done that?
It's not derailing to respond to claims made.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

valensiwalensi · 13/04/2024 10:23

SuziQuinto · 13/04/2024 10:21

Who's done that?
It's not derailing to respond to claims made.

This is how a whole similar thread got deleted a few weeks ago.

just let people have their opinion

SuziQuinto · 13/04/2024 10:23

valensiwalensi · 13/04/2024 10:23

This is how a whole similar thread got deleted a few weeks ago.

just let people have their opinion

I haven't stopped a person having an opinion.
I'm engaging with said opinion.

StarvingMarvin222 · 13/04/2024 10:24

The "Dear Reader I married him" threads.
It's so twee,you're not Emily Brontë

mlc0 · 13/04/2024 10:27

How nasty people can be

Howbizarre22 · 13/04/2024 10:30

Coshei · 13/04/2024 09:45

There is 100% a strong anti men sentiment thriving on this site. Believe me, if you were male you’d notice it a lot more.

I understand why comments minimising abuse are unwelcome and that women might prefer a “safe space” to discuss this, and I usually don’t even consider engaging.

But in general there is a widespread disdain for men on this site, and it’s often quite irritating to read. We are parents too, and we try our best, need some help at times, and we aren’t all useless abusers. Yet threads proclaiming that MN is a network for “women only” are a frequent occurrence with a lot of support. It’s really not nice and the equivalent of getting suspicious looks when I wait around for my daughter, and all people see is a single man standing near a playground.

There is a strong anti women sentiment in society, believe me if you were a woman you'd notice it a lot more.

Look I appreciate there are good, genuine men out there and of course lots of good dads. But our collective experience as women is im afraid truly reflected on this site. Do not minimise this. If you don’t like that mainly because you clearly will cannot appreciate it as a man, perhaps stay off a site aimed at women- for women. “MUMSnet.”

Us women don’t have a voice like men do and across many many areas of our life we are massively undervalued and oppressed- inequality and mistreatment towards women has ALWAYS been rife and still is. Do not come on here- a space for us women to support each other- complaining that we are complaining. Open your eyes instead and support us.

LaMarschallin · 13/04/2024 10:34

HotChocolateNotCocoa · 13/04/2024 10:14

Nah, you’re wrong there. The plaintive sound comes from the vowels.

I know.
That's why I said your examples were correct - imo - and the repetition of the final consonants was wrong.
Even if the final letter is a vowel eg "game" "gaaaaame" would make it long and drawn out; "gameeeee" wouldn't.

I think you'll find I'm agreeing with you, not saying you were wrong.

HotChocolateNotCocoa · 13/04/2024 10:38

In that case I’ve misread; sorry 🙂

Twiglets1 · 13/04/2024 10:40

I’m loving this thread btw thanks @5YearsLeft
( hope that doesn’t irritate anyone 😉)

Dustyblue · 13/04/2024 10:43

Snugglemonkey · 13/04/2024 08:47

It us sometimes too hard to do that on the mobile app. If there are hundreds of replies.

I hadn't thought of that. I only view MN on a laptop, probably much easier to see everything.

Good point 👏

valensiwalensi · 13/04/2024 10:44

SuziQuinto · 13/04/2024 10:23

I haven't stopped a person having an opinion.
I'm engaging with said opinion.

And engaging in trans opinions ALWAYS derails threads.

CelesteCunningham · 13/04/2024 10:44

EarringsandLipstick · 13/04/2024 08:01

@5YearsLeft

Oh thanks. Saw that thread but didn't read it (in Ireland not UK, so obviously not voting!)

While they may have been referencing that thread, they are also making a diminishing, inaccurate comment on the legitimate concerns well-informed posters have about the pervasive influence of gender ideology, directly affecting the rights & lives of women & girls.

No honestly @EarringsandLipstick I've seen it loads and I avoid the gender threads as much as I can. That thread was the longest but I've seen it elsewhere too , both as isolated posts and threads that didn't take off like that one. It's definitely A Thing in the run up to the election.

drspouse · 13/04/2024 10:46

5YearsLeft · 13/04/2024 06:10

@CupversusMug Oh no, it’s all in good fun! I actually wouldn’t blame you. I wasn’t irritated but definitely aghast at that thread a few weeks ago where a MNer who lived in Maine said she was regularly taking her FIVE YEAR OLD hunting and shooting because it was a valuable skill. You should have seen my face, lol. Looked like: 😱

Edited

I am on an outdoor parenting group on FB and an American mum on there was asking the best gun holster to use when carrying a baby in a sling.

But I digress.
My pet peeves are not reading the room (poster asks how to get her child used to school uniform, reply says to home school; poster asks how to get her daughter away from toxic friend who has told daughter to self harm and that she is a boy, reply says "affirm your son").
And as a sub set, not RTFT.

drspouse · 13/04/2024 10:48

Willmafrockfit · 13/04/2024 06:59

oh the dementia suggestion about everyone in their 60s and above

And the idea that it's ok for anyone over 50 to be racist "because they are old". I'm 57 and I manage not to be. So does my mum who's 82.

Wedontdeservedogs · 13/04/2024 10:48

BentFork · 13/04/2024 04:54

The vitriol & nastiness

Exactly this

Irisginger · 13/04/2024 10:55

Men coming into the only predominately female place that exists online, then getting arsey when women don't defer to them or fawn on them in the way they have got used to in the rest of society.

5YearsLeft · 13/04/2024 11:00

drspouse · 13/04/2024 10:46

I am on an outdoor parenting group on FB and an American mum on there was asking the best gun holster to use when carrying a baby in a sling.

But I digress.
My pet peeves are not reading the room (poster asks how to get her child used to school uniform, reply says to home school; poster asks how to get her daughter away from toxic friend who has told daughter to self harm and that she is a boy, reply says "affirm your son").
And as a sub set, not RTFT.

Because nothing says attachment parenting like a hip holster… Fucking hell. Let me make the face again: 😱

OP posts:
ArlaJay · 13/04/2024 11:07

Posters who start a thread and don't return, leaving just an opening post.
(Especially countless baby name threads)

Posters who don't read any of the thread or consider the start date. They continue to add advice, four days and 300 posts later, based only on the opening post and not on the OP’s latest update. They don't even read above them to see that another poster has congratulated the OP on solving their issue, continuing to advise on the first post. Infuriating. Pity there isn't a ‘turn comments off’ button, like with FB.

Posters who as for advice or an opinion, then argue with anyone who doesn't give them the advice or opinion that fits with what they already think.

Mil bashing. Mothers can often do no wrong. I find that bizarre as many, many of us are the same person…MIL and DM.

An ‘anti-men’ view, especially around child contact. There is very little understanding that mothers can and do deny access to their children and frustrate contact. In these cases, it always has to be the dads fault. Yep, in many cases it is, but not all. There are some devious women out there too, who do not want to share their children.

Posters who spout rubbish, advising on things they really know nothing about. Often when they haven't read the topic. So someone asks in education or in legal and is given sound advice by an obvious professional ( some well known and respected posters) and then a poster comes along with a ‘good idea’ or ‘hearsay’ and contradicts entirely.

Sorry for the rant. I think I need to remove myself from MN if it makes me so grumpy. 😂🤯

ManchesterBeatrice · 13/04/2024 11:08

The powerful knack of lots of posters to make any thread about the 'trans debate'

Coshei · 13/04/2024 11:10

SuziQuinto · 13/04/2024 10:21

Who's done that?
It's not derailing to respond to claims made.

Take your pick when searching for the topic. But you can be sure that another one will be posted in due time with the same tiresome arguments.

mondaytosunday · 13/04/2024 11:10

When the poster never comes back, never answers questions.
Nub theory.
Name lists (thankfully haven't seen many recently).
And the never ending 'my partner is abusive, controls all the money, doesn't let me go out, but he's a good dad.....'
Questions that could easily be answered with a quick google.

ManchesterBeatrice · 13/04/2024 11:10

Also 'taking in Ironing' as the solution to all financial woes

ManchesterBeatrice · 13/04/2024 11:11

The use of the word 'help' to describe a male doing anything to be a father or shoulder his fair share of the household tasks.