What is the MOST irritating thing on Mumsnet?

[5YearsLeft]

I saw someone mention that something was “high on the list of most irritating Mumsnet things,” but I couldn’t find a post discussing that list. And now we have polls, I thought it might be interesting, especially “other” stuff.

This in spades.

They always live in London, work in financial services, have two children and have a husband whose hobby is cycling.

I mean, how much more generic can you get?

The idiots who turn up on Black MN and turn every discussion into:

! A political rant (starmer vs Sunak)

! A trans debate

! A rant about white working class boys being left behind

I no it's trrible!

People who can't comprehend that other people use the chat forums that aren't parents.

I find this strange. I understand those who are coming onto the site to ask questions where a group of mums' opinions would be helpful. For example, a man coming on here to seek advice about his wife etc.

But the people who are seeking out Mumsnet to chat about random things like reading or gardening are a bit weird. Why would you choose a parenting forum to discuss your hobbies? Especially men. It's a bit invasive of a space designed for women. And yes I know anyone can read the posts.

Calling quite ordinary social interactions "favours" and expecting loads of gratitude/recompense for them.

@Vacantstare I guess I'm a bit weird then…

But in all seriousness, I think it's because Mumsnet is a fairly thriving forum, and there's an awful lot on here posted, which isn't in relation to having children.

I think it's evolved in that way.

@HorribleHisTories15 Hey, a lot of these are just meant to be people blowing off steam about pet peeves but what you mention is more serious - it’s not respecting a safe and dedicated space for Black MN. Maybe there should be more specific rules on the cultural boards to keep them centred on the MNers they’re created for, and then violating those rules should mean a warning from MNHQ for established users and an insta-ban for new users. Maybe that’s too much and it’s just an annoyance and not a huge problem. I don’t know; I guess it depends on how much of a problem this is, and I’m sure Black MN would be better at coming up with their own solution - I’m just brainstorming.

On the issue of children, people whose children have left for university, coming on the Mumsnetters without children board, and claiming they're childfree.

This. What exactly do they think people are going to do with their 'outing' information anyway.

"Oh, Melanie said she was going to KFC yesterday. It must be her posting"

It doesn't even make any sense

Another pet hate (so not the worst but still tiresome) is the washing out overnight/darked on thing. People now start actual threads for the purpose of using those lines and for some reason it really really grates.

Just on the 'hotbed of transphobia' comment I've just seen. I imagine that if you disliked those specific threads you could hide a the relevant board and see barely any. Amongst the endless parking, baby names, my husband spends too much time on the hobby I daren't mention in case you recognise me , I'm going to Aldi/Lidl what should I buy, and I earn shit loads of money AMA threads I suspect trans related convos make up about 5%.

How is women using a chat form about shared interests invasive?

Those who post a really long OP when it could be condensed. Most of what they add is not even necessary it's just waffle.

@Vacantstare horrible suggestion there that the use of the word woman, encompasses, mothers only.

I think it's cultural and tied to social class.

I've known colleagues, acquaintances and some extended family say things like this, particularly older people. Gosh is just a more polite word, when compared to, say, God. This wouldnt be out of the ordinary in my social circle.

@ManchesterBeatrice the site is called Mumsnet so intended for mothers or those TTC. How is horrible to state a fact?

There are a great many good men out there, I'm married to one.

But it can't have escaped your notice that many of the issues that arise on MN have their roots in an uneven domestic load, and that across the population women do far more housework and childcare regardless of employment status. And that when you add the mental and emotional load it gets even worse.

If that's not the case in your house that's brilliant but that makes your house very much the exception.

You also must be aware that women DO face a real threat of violence and abuse from men, even if that threat doesn't come from you as an individual. If you have a female partner, you must be aware that she feels less safe walking alone at night than you, for example.

@Givemethesworrrrd I said it's invasive of men...

@Vacantstare I thought it was generally accepted at this point that there are a large amount of MNers without children. Hence there being a Childfree topic. Mumsnet is a very large, thriving forum for numerous interests, that has a lot of female users; it’s difficult to think of an equivalent. Yes, you could find a forum dedicated to reading or gardening or feminism, but what if you want to discuss all three on the same site? And what if you want to ask women-centric questions, like, say, books that would be comforting after you’ve had a miscarriage? Mumsnet has a lot of hiccups, true, but I find it a really unique community for women.

And as for how childfree people end up here, I was Googling for information on how to make my dishwasher smell better…

I have to say this, and the blatant double standards that what sometimes feels like all
posters have (but in reality I know it’s just a sizeable minority)

I’ve been here 12 years and the build up of this has just led me to decide to cut right back on the time I’m on here. It can often feel toxic on some (a lot of) threads and I’m better off dipping in occasionally rather than engaging.

I was referencing this:

But the people who are seeking out Mumsnet to chat about random things like reading or gardening are a bit weird. Why would you choose a parenting forum to discuss your hobbies? Especially men. It's a bit invasive of a space designed for women. And yes I know anyone can read the posts.

Are you aware that there is a mumsnetter without children section?

I refer to my previous point, Mumsnet has evolved, like many businesses, which have a name, which then doesn't go onto encompass everything they are.

Thank you @5YearsLeft 😎

Right.

But I still rest my previous point.

In what way? I see two types of advice here re teens, diametrically opposed.

I do this. I annoy myself 😆. I can't figure out how to just reference the name.

Criticism of others' spelling/grammar/vocabulary. Usually with a sneering tone and nine times out of ten by someone who quickly reveals they don't know what they're talking about.

Not reading at least the OP's posts before replying on a long thread.

Assuming that everyone lives in England - using school year rather than age, calling troll because it's not school holidays etc. Endemic.