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Original poster

Adoption shower ideas

313 replies

CraftyC · 07/04/2024 07:50

I have offered to host an adoption shower for my best friend. They have been going through the UK adoption system for nearly 2 years and will be taking a 1 year old girl home mid May. The mum to be knows about the shower and is incredibly excited.

However all the ideas for games I have seen are pregnancy related. Does anyone have any ideas what games/activities I can do with the 15 guests in my house that doesn't mention pregnancy? Any other tips for hosting this shower to make it special for her?

Thanks

OP posts:
Alaina7 · 07/04/2024 08:37

TroysMammy · 07/04/2024 08:32

I thought the title was a typo for adaption shower ideas like a fold down seat and grab handles.

Bahahaha!!!

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:37

There’s a speedy nappy changing game where you do a relay.
One where you taste baby food with a blindfold on and have to guess.
Make a baby out of plasticine (that’s just a bit of fun seeing all your creations).
Pin the nappy on the baby.

I honestly can’t understand why people are so miserable about this!

ButterflyKu · 07/04/2024 08:37

SaltySeaCat · 07/04/2024 08:12

The baby photo thing would be incredibly insensitive. As an adoptee myself I desperately wanted to know who I looked like. This child won’t look like her adoptive parents.

What are you talking about

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Simonjt · 07/04/2024 08:38

Bakersdozens · 07/04/2024 08:36

what maths?

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You believe 3-9%, so really 6% is a majority.

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:38

MariaVT65 · 07/04/2024 08:14

Some of my were birth related tbh, so maybe not appropriate, but i also asked questions like ‘name any of the top 5 most popular names in the uk’ or ‘what were the names of the twins born in star wars’ - like you could ask what were chandler and monica’s adopted twins called. As the child is also 1, you could maybe include some questions about cartoons eg what is bluey’s sister called, what job does Mr Bull do in Peppa’. You could also include some physical questions like ‘a member from each quiz team race out to the garden to see who can find the hey duggee colouring book first’. You could also include some disney questions or something, as our generation grew up on those films anyway.

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This would be really fun!

MariaVT65 · 07/04/2024 08:38

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:37

There’s a speedy nappy changing game where you do a relay.
One where you taste baby food with a blindfold on and have to guess.
Make a baby out of plasticine (that’s just a bit of fun seeing all your creations).
Pin the nappy on the baby.

I honestly can’t understand why people are so miserable about this!

Because all those games are cringey lol.

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:40

SaltySeaCat · 07/04/2024 08:12

The baby photo thing would be incredibly insensitive. As an adoptee myself I desperately wanted to know who I looked like. This child won’t look like her adoptive parents.

This is for the mum and her friends. Seeing what they looked like as babies and guessing. The adopted child will also have photos of herself as a small child as the op is adopting her and will take photos… She isn’t going to be at the baby shower. It’s for the mum and her friends.

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:41

MariaVT65 · 07/04/2024 08:38

Because all those games are cringey lol.

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It’s about having fun with your friends. I personally have no issue being silly! Love it. Do you never play charades or anything?

These are non pregnancy related games we played at friend’s baby showers and they were really silly and fun.

Savoyafternoon · 07/04/2024 08:42

The games may be cringy but this person has not just fallen pregnant and is having a happy birth 9 months later. This is someone who has been through the mill to get to this point and is likely to go through it again when the child is here.
I am one that generally hates baby showers but please could we just accept that she wants a little bit of fun, happiness and sharing with friends in the midst of it all?

Supersoakers · 07/04/2024 08:42

I did one for my friend.
We did guess the celebrity baby and a game where you have to put a nappy on a doll/teddy but you do it blindfolded with gloves on when you roll a 6 and have to do it before the next person rolls a 6 and takes over.
Also had stuff for the post it game.
i think a keepsake would be nice like messages on a patchwork or bunting triangles that can be sewn, depending on artistic skills! Could get fabric pens and some pattern ideas and write a message on them.
My friend was keen for advice so there was plenty of that! Also we brought presents.

MariaVT65 · 07/04/2024 08:42

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:41

It’s about having fun with your friends. I personally have no issue being silly! Love it. Do you never play charades or anything?

These are non pregnancy related games we played at friend’s baby showers and they were really silly and fun.

Edited
Show quote history

There is a massive difference between silly and cringey.

Do I want to play charades? Yes i do! (op that’s a great idea actually!)

Do i want to sniff chocolate out of a nappy or taste baby food blindfolded? Absolutely not and i have declined to take part in these games before.

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:42

Savoyafternoon · 07/04/2024 08:42

The games may be cringy but this person has not just fallen pregnant and is having a happy birth 9 months later. This is someone who has been through the mill to get to this point and is likely to go through it again when the child is here.
I am one that generally hates baby showers but please could we just accept that she wants a little bit of fun, happiness and sharing with friends in the midst of it all?

Thank you! She just wants a nice day with here friends celebrating something bloody exciting .

Simonjt · 07/04/2024 08:43

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:40

This is for the mum and her friends. Seeing what they looked like as babies and guessing. The adopted child will also have photos of herself as a small child as the op is adopting her and will take photos… She isn’t going to be at the baby shower. It’s for the mum and her friends.

Show quote history

And the mum gets to sit there knowing she may never get to see what her child looked like as a baby. Fun.

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:44

MariaVT65 · 07/04/2024 08:42

There is a massive difference between silly and cringey.

Do I want to play charades? Yes i do! (op that’s a great idea actually!)

Do i want to sniff chocolate out of a nappy or taste baby food blindfolded? Absolutely not and i have declined to take part in these games before.

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I think cringey is silly? 🤷‍♀️ I didn’t suggest the nappy sniff game. It’s up to the op to choose which ideas will suit her friend.

Starfish1021 · 07/04/2024 08:44

No suggestions I’m afraid. But I wanted to say how wonderful you and your friend sound. I hope she has a fantastic day.

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:44

Simonjt · 07/04/2024 08:43

And the mum gets to sit there knowing she may never get to see what her child looked like as a baby. Fun.

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And again that’s up to the op to decide if that’s appropriate. I agree it could be insensitive.

TeaKitten · 07/04/2024 08:45

Simonjt · 07/04/2024 08:43

And the mum gets to sit there knowing she may never get to see what her child looked like as a baby. Fun.

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The child is 1, so she will no.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 07/04/2024 08:45

Savoyafternoon · 07/04/2024 08:42

The games may be cringy but this person has not just fallen pregnant and is having a happy birth 9 months later. This is someone who has been through the mill to get to this point and is likely to go through it again when the child is here.
I am one that generally hates baby showers but please could we just accept that she wants a little bit of fun, happiness and sharing with friends in the midst of it all?

This.
The OP is trying to do something lovely for her friend.

Rainydayze · 07/04/2024 08:45

Adopter here. You sound like a lovely friend wanting to celebrate your friend’s massive life change.

Echo what others say about avoiding the baby photo game and a baby quiz. Many adopted kids in UK don’t have baby photos and live with big gaps in their early years. I’d avoid mirroring what happens with baby showers from birth.

There are Children’s games you could play, hide and seek, tag, pass the parcel, a playlist of songs a child of the age they are adopting might like - stop the song and winner is person who can sing last line etc.

As an adopter I needed people to acknowledge it’s different - for us and child being adopted. I like it’s a real positive that you are looking for ideas to tailor something special for your friend.

MariaVT65 · 07/04/2024 08:45

Simonjt · 07/04/2024 08:43

And the mum gets to sit there knowing she may never get to see what her child looked like as a baby. Fun.

Show quote history

This is also why i mentioned in my first post that it can also be of people as ‘a little kid’ and the op can specify this to guests.

Quite often people don’t have baby photos of themselves so you do get them as slightly older kids anyway.

Bakersdozens · 07/04/2024 08:45

Simonjt · 07/04/2024 08:38

You believe 3-9%, so really 6% is a majority.

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That is just rubbish. 20-25% end with the child being taken back into care or placed in alternative accommodation or boarding within 10 years.

MOST adoptions that fail do so "unofficially" - so that 25% is less than half the total.

Child moves out at 16 and goes non contact, or similar, or failure after 10 years, which isn't in the statistics, or family struggles on totally broken, or child just quietly moves out and sofa surfs, or similar.

Adoptions have a lower success rate then marriages, which fail at a rate of 1 in 3

Taking on a damaged child is a heroic thing to do, and I am sure that even children of failed adoptions are far better off than they would have been in care all their childhood.

But it is something that is taken on seriously, and quietly, and smoothly, and with expectation of trouble, and likely heart break - that is why the idea of a party seems so out of place to me. But I guess if that is what she wants, go ahead. As long as the child doesn't know anything about it, I suppose why not. My gut reaction was NO!!!!!!!! but maybe I'm wrong and its nice for her

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:48

mt9m · 07/04/2024 08:23

Adoption comes from trauma and loss, it's about the child, not an adult that didn't get a baby shower. It's probably best to address it with your friend.

a baby shower is celebrating the woman becoming a mother and a fun get together with friends. I’d personally think it quite sad she can’t celebrate because the child is adopted! Poor kid !

HerkyBaby · 07/04/2024 08:50

Can you get hold of a pushchair and do a timed race as to who can put it up the quickest? This can then be made harder as the person is required to hold a doll while trying to put it up and then actually strap the doll in. The same timed game could be done with a travel cot, collapsible high chair etc. Also who can step on a piece of Lego for the longest. With the arrival of a 1 year old little girl I think trying to get hold of a child sized mannequin and getting a pair of tights on it will be good practice and amusing. Finally how about hair brushing without pulling and getting it platted etc.
i really hope that you have a wonderful time x

Newsenmum · 07/04/2024 08:50

Bakersdozens · 07/04/2024 08:45

That is just rubbish. 20-25% end with the child being taken back into care or placed in alternative accommodation or boarding within 10 years.

MOST adoptions that fail do so "unofficially" - so that 25% is less than half the total.

Child moves out at 16 and goes non contact, or similar, or failure after 10 years, which isn't in the statistics, or family struggles on totally broken, or child just quietly moves out and sofa surfs, or similar.

Adoptions have a lower success rate then marriages, which fail at a rate of 1 in 3

Taking on a damaged child is a heroic thing to do, and I am sure that even children of failed adoptions are far better off than they would have been in care all their childhood.

But it is something that is taken on seriously, and quietly, and smoothly, and with expectation of trouble, and likely heart break - that is why the idea of a party seems so out of place to me. But I guess if that is what she wants, go ahead. As long as the child doesn't know anything about it, I suppose why not. My gut reaction was NO!!!!!!!! but maybe I'm wrong and its nice for her

Show quote history

This is a pretty miserable post. Why no roll out statistics about new mums who get pnd and all the issues kids have generally?

The most likely scenario is that this child will love her adopted mum and not be upset that she celebrated getting to be her mum! And yes I have adopted family members AND know people adopted! They are real people. Not some depressing statistic.

It’s pretty clear that this has been a very long thought out journey for this woman.

Simonjt · 07/04/2024 08:51

TeaKitten · 07/04/2024 08:45

The child is 1, so she will no.

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Oh, so her toddler with magically sometimes look like a new born baby, or a four month old etc just because they’re 1? Oddly enough our son didn’t come with this magical skill.