Adoption shower ideas

[CraftyC]

I have offered to host an adoption shower for my best friend. They have been going through the UK adoption system for nearly 2 years and will be taking a 1 year old girl home mid May. The mum to be knows about the shower and is incredibly excited.

However all the ideas for games I have seen are pregnancy related. Does anyone have any ideas what games/activities I can do with the 15 guests in my house that doesn't mention pregnancy? Any other tips for hosting this shower to make it special for her?

Thanks

Sorry, just re-read and saw the child is 1. I stuck with my previous suggestions. A gift, cakes and fizz.

What about a quiz where you have to identify the children's tv programme from the theme tune?

Wow, what a lot of horrible and dim people have found this thread! Sorry you’ve had to put up with that OP. Sigh.

I’ve never actually been to a baby shower but I’d suggest a kids party vibe with lots of balloons, pass the parcel, a modified pin the tail on the donkey (eg blue tack the picture of a nappy onto the picture of a toddler, or maybe something Peppa Pig related), musical chairs etc.

Just ignore the posters trying to upset you, they don’t matter and the rest of us get it, so no need to give the trolls the attention they’re seeking.

I've never been to a baby shower so am not sure what all these games are. If they are just fun and silly, I have no idea, but if they are actually a bit helpful
you could teach her the kind of stuff most mums know by the time their babies are 1 year old.

E.g. Play musical statues or musical chairs and whoever loses has to teach her one of the songs everyone sings at playgroups so she knows them when she starts.

Or you could do a memory game on a tray of all the things you need to pack in the nappy bag for a day out: (nappies, spare clothes, muslin cloths, teething gel, arnica, baby wipes, antibac, snacks, milk etc

Horrible and dim or realistic and pragmatic ?

You have to remember too that adoption is more mainstream in the USA far more common that is. It's a genuine choice women make to give their baby a better life, quite different to the U.K. (though it does happen occasionally) this adoptive mum to be is American and she just wants a bit of normality, don't be critical

Good one!

Not sure what’s up with all these killjoys this morning! I think this sounds like a lovely thing to do for your friend, you seem really thoughtful x

How utterly self absorbed.

Your DH had one experience and therefore speaks for everyone?

He stopped speaking to his parents once he met his birth mom.

Unless they were horrifically abusive which you fail to mention your DH sounds like a twat.

I was abused by my adopted parents.

And would have likely died remaining with my birth parents.

We celebrate pregnancy even though some end horrifically.

Some mums die in labour. Some babies die before they are even born. Some birth parents kill their babies. Some sexually abuse their babies.

We celebrate the hope and love when welcoming a new family member, because whatever your dh may believe they become family. Even the really really shitty ones.

Its a lovely idea. Wow there is some rude people on here. People that adopt are still having a child and have the same rights as in leave from work as people that have birth children. I assume all the nasty comment people have not struggled to have kids and have no idea. You are a great friend. Yes I think some party games be good.

Presumably the child is with Foster carers, some Foster carers will hand over lots of toys and clothes as they see them as the childs belongings, Others will see the toys and clothes the child has been using as theirs to keep for the next child that comes into their care.

Either way the new parents still need to have some age appropriate things in the house. Sort out the bedroom and make it welcoming to the child.

Crikey people, if a woman can have a baby shower why should she be excluded from something similar for an adopted 1 year old? I wonder how many of you have participated in tacky gender reveals?
Bravo OP for supporting your friend, who is doing something fantastic. . My best uni friend adopted two children and would have loved this concept.

My suggestion:
Match school photos to party attendees? Gives you a chance to giggle about your questionable teenage style choices.

If you are suffering some kind of distress because of your DH childhood experiences, then get some help for that, don’t take it out on other people.

The comparison with dogs is irrational as well as offensive - a dog is a different species that’s why you can’t be it’s ‘mum’.

Adoptive parents are called parents by law because they are parents. Your mum and dad are the people that love and raise you.

I am sorry your DH had this experience but it is not universal. It is inaccurate and offensive to most adopted children to suggest the people that raised them aren’t their parents.

Oh and we did throw a party for friends who adopted, we didn't call it a shower though. We had party food and people brought toys and clothes, hand me downs actually and we had a pot of money we all put into to buy the children a brand new bed each as we were aware a bit about their background and lack of beds was an issue. The older one was absolutely amazed by the bed apparently, they had deliberately left the packaging on at the suggestion of the social worker so she could see that everything (mattress, duvet, pillows and sheets) were new. She's an amazing teen now, not plain sailing but considering the start in life.

What a kind friend you are. You have had some great ideas and advice on here. Ignore the unkind things. Given that adoption is different, as the organiser you will have a slightly different role to play than for a baby shower and I think making sure that all the guests are reminded beforehand that questions about the child's past are off limits and being ready to deflect if they do happen is going to be key.

As for activities the ones suggested for far that I think would work well are

• timed playdoh creations a bottle or baby etc. (Bonus is that she gets to take tubs of playdoh home)
• blank building blocks to decorate (ideally not with anything that can't safely go in a child's mouth)
• guess the line from children's books or songs
• pass the parcel

Baby showers, to me, are superfluous, however ...

You could have a quiz with a list of the word for toddler in many languages and guests need to match the correct word with country.
Guessing games around the child's height and weight, and name if the mother to be is happy not to share the name until the child arrives.
A colouring in T-shirt (size two) activity. Supply plain T-shirts and fabric paints.
If gift ideas are asked for by guests - suggest a book, size 3 and up clothing, toy for toddler, parenting aides or cash fund to help purchase a car seat.

For my adoption shower we didn’t really do games, but my friend arranged for everyone to write some advice and decorated a lovely box for the bits of paper to go in which I still have many years later! They also all left messages on a big cardboard initial that he now has up in his room. It was quite boozy too. It was just a lovely, really relaxed food and drinks with my best friends and family.

Is this adoption in America?

If so I wouldnt know the process so much of what Ive said about the procedures/court proceedings perhaps it is different there in terms of legalities

However, my other points about the effect on the child still stands.

no, if you are informed about this issue, you will realise that the name of an adopted child is something to be resolved very sensitively, and very privately, not in public and not at a party

In the UK the child travels with their belongings, its important for continuity, the adopters will be advised to keep everything the same, even down to using the same washing powder where possible for example.

What does any of this have to do with a baby shower though???

Who cares about the process????

The mum wants a baby shower and Op is giving her one!

This pass the parcel idea is a lovely one.

What are you on about? No one suggested anything is ‘resolved’ at this shower. It’s a bloody quiz question about facts. That’s it.

Stop masking your unpleasantness as genuine concern, it’s very obvious it isn’t.

The OP has asked for games suggestions, she is capable of filtering what is and isn’t appropriate for a one year old being adopted.

If the OP’s friend is in the UK, she will have had education on how to take on an adopted child before and after being taken on as an adopter, plus a gradual handover from the foster carers in which she’ll get information about food so far and will be given clothes and toys the child has. .

That leaves plenty of clothes and toys still to buy and child rearing decisions to be made for the years ahead.

Whatever your problem is - get help for it if you want to be less unhappy, or alternatively, just keep it to yourself.

Given that the OP’s friend is adopting a 1 year old, chances are they have been in care since a very young baby and the carers will provide photos.