The worst thing that's ever happened to me

[IHateLegDay]

I was out for lunch with DH and bit into a ham sandwich, not realising it had mustard on it. I blurted out "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" 😂
Obviously it's not. I've had plenty of trauma in my life but whenever the conversation arises of 'the worst thing that's ever happened', that's what comes into my head!
So what's the (not actually) worst thing that's ever happened to you?

(Lighthearted 😊)

Having a cup of wee thrown in my face and having to speak with wee dripping off of my eyelashes.

When I was making a dressing which had a tablespoon of Thai fish sauce in it and I accidentally tipped the fish sauce into my wine instead of the dressing. And I didn’t want to waste the wine so I tried to drink it.

It appears we have a similar taste in horrific happenings!

It's bizarre, isn't it? In our last house they used to come in at night, presumably squeezing under the bristly bits that lined the door cracks. There would easily be half a dozen of them having a party in the kitchen and then, poof, the next morning they'd be gone without a trace.

*Without a trace of said slug. They'd leave some lovely silvery slimy lines behind.

I'm just plain nosy, so I have to ask, what the hell happened that you were in the position of having a cup of wee thrown at you.

I was in Barbados and put my trainers on to go to the supermarket. As I walked across the carpark something inside my trainer was scratching my toe. When I looked inside my shoe there was a big cockroach, I ended up hurling my trainer across the carpark and ging bare foot.

I can’t! I can barely let my own hands touch my food before I eat it. My OCD 😣

I had a real problem with that, and I got this slug tape stuff for about £8, stuck it around the outside of the doors and never had an issue since. It gives them a wee electric shock apparently so they just fuck off.

I saw a piece of cardboard on the pavement not far from a recycling bin, so I tried to do my 'good deed for the day' by picking it up. When I got to the bin, I realised there was a HUGE, smushed dog turd on the underside of it.

At least, I hope it was a dog turd - never thought I'd say that sentence.

I was very very pregnant and ordered a huge amount of food from an Indian takeaway. Think 4 main courses for 3 people plus sides and rice. It turned up, I opened the first container, burst into tears and said " I can't eat any of this, I'm not actually hungry". I went to bed, woke up the next morning and burst into tears again as my partner and our friend had dared to eat some of the food, and taken all chicken tikka masala.

This is very outing as I kept going on about it 🤣

A few weeks ago I was at a farmers market one of the stalls do amazing cakes I bought 4 huge strawberry tarts, I carefully carried them all around the market making sure not to squash them, get the cream etc messed up, went home got all the family into the kitchen to get a strawberry tart and opened my box & it contained 3 shitty empire biscuits 🤣🤣 I could have cried 🤣🤣

What is worse than finding a grub in your apple?

Finding half a grub.

That is utterly horrendous

My then boyfriend made me chicken soup when I was poorly. This was when I learned his family are obsessed with Tabasco sauce and he thought it was normal to ruin a perfectly good chicken soup by adding liquid fire to it.

I grew up in a house where salt and white pepper were the only things added to food. Even black pepper was too exotic for us.

We are still together though and I still don’t like Tabasco.

DH accidentally turned off my bread maker with 40 minutes to go before the prospect of lovely fresh bread. I’d just begun to smell the gorgeous baked bread smell, but didn’t realise the bread maker had been turned off until it was too late. No words!

Walking around town, eating a nice donut but feeling narked that there was the barest minimum of jam in it. Only to finish the donunt & realise ALL the jam had been squeezed out of the injection point & down the front of my coat!

We were in a cafe for breakfast as an extended family as a treat.

I was on a diet, so ordered a fruit salad. It came with fucking coriander on top and mixed through.

A literal abomination. DH and his family are of the 'don't make a fuss' type. So I had to eat it, gently teasing bits of chopped coriander off my melon and grapes 😫

I inhaled an earwig. You know how they like hiding in dark crevices? Turns out the mouthpiece of an asthma inhaler fits the bill perfectly (of course I'd lost the cap). So I took a mighty puff and it went a long way down. It came back up in the mother and father of all coughing fits, and blow me if the little bugger didn't get up and scuttle off.

Moving day.. Everything I own packed in boxes and on the A21. I post my keys through the letterbox as requested by agent, walk to my car ready to join my belongings 2 hours away with nothing but the clothes on my back and... A fucking seagull did the biggest shit in the history of seagulls all over my hair!!

I absentmindedly ate a small bit of squished popcorn at the bottom of my popcorn bowl when I was reading…. It was actually a tiny bit of firelighter DH had thrown in there fsr

omg the disgusting taste of it 😭😭😭

he always puts stuff in weird food places - it’s so annoying; I should know at this stage 😭😭

It was the first camping trip of the season. I was excited to get into my snug sleeping bag. As I got in I dislodged and broke a spider nest and 1 million baby spiders ran all over and inside my sleeping bag.

Also, when I was on nights last week, there was a slug on my hand. And I don't know how long it had been there.

I was looking forward to my salad box from the local sandwich shop at work a few years ago. I sat down, had a couple of mouthfuls then stopped when one of the olives started walking across the lettuce. It was one of those really black beetles that are the same size and when covered with a bit of salad do an amazing black olive impression.
I have a real phobia about beetles, spiders I can cope with but beetles give me the real creeps. It was a long time before I could eat from the shop again and never had black olives on a salad.

I too have stood on a slug barefoot in my kitchen. I stood on it very squarely with my heel and very nearly went arse over tit 🐌

Dh and I were staying in a luxury hotel in Dubrovnik on a holiday of a lifetime. Everything about it was perfect.

We were in THE restaurant, with THE view, THE wine, and had ordered THE starters.

I covered my scallops in so much rock salt (it was a bed of it on the plate, you weren't supposed to extra dip, but it was dark and I thought it was a garnish) and I completely ruined the taste.

I got over it. As you can see.

All these spider, slug, earwig, cockroach and beetle things really are the worst thing ever. Going to have to stop reading!