Page 12 | The worst thing that's ever happened to me

IHateLegDay · 2024-04-04T17:24:42+00:00

I was out for lunch with DH and bit into a ham sandwich, not realising it had mustard on it. I blurted out "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" 😂 Obviously it's not. I've had plenty of trauma in my life but whenever the conversation arises of 'the worst thing that's ever happened', that's what comes into my head! So what's the (not actually) worst thing that's ever happened to you? (Lighthearted 😊)

NCFTS · 05/04/2024 19:48

I’ve just remembered a horrible thing that happened to my Nan. It makes me feel sick every time I think of it! I was about 5 or 6 years old and we were eating banana sandwiches. I had a huge green snotty bogey up my nose and I suppose because I was only 5 I pulled it out and put it on the side of my plate (which is vomit-inducing to think about now!). My Nan didn’t see me do it and said ‘oh, I like the bruise on a banana’ and before I could say anything she scooped it up and ate it! 🤮

Fernticket · 05/04/2024 22:07

Pluviophile1 · 05/04/2024 07:46

I've got another one.

I was walking in town on my lunch break and a passing stranger spat at me - it went on my face and in my hair. I went straight back to the office and washed my face but having to wait until I got home to wash it out of my hair was awful.

@Pluviophile1 What a horrible thing to have happen to you. There are some scummery, awful excuses for human beings out there.

Fernticket · 05/04/2024 22:10

OrangeAndFizz · 05/04/2024 15:13

Obligatory slug story -

I diligently cut the grass and raked it all together, admired the neat pile of clippings, gave it one last tweak and flicked a huge slug up INTO MY MOUTH.

Like WELL into my mouth, nearly down my throat. Had to retch to spit it out.
Ran around the garden scrabbling at my tongue and going Urrggh! Urrggh! for about ten minutes.

This one wins the thread for me🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Craftycorvid · 08/04/2024 19:30

@Fernticket Love the username! You must be from my part of the world, the wonderful Forest of Dean!

Fernticket · 08/04/2024 21:57

@Craftycorvid I sure am. Hello Old Butty😊

Craftycorvid · 08/04/2024 22:06

@Fernticket Ow bist!

BroccoliHighkicks · 08/04/2024 22:09

Mistymountain · 04/04/2024 19:08

I was in Barbados and put my trainers on to go to the supermarket. As I walked across the carpark something inside my trainer was scratching my toe. When I looked inside my shoe there was a big cockroach, I ended up hurling my trainer across the carpark and ging bare foot.

I have to check my wellies for mice - the cat posts them in there as a nice surprise for me!

thomasinacat · 09/04/2024 01:01

WhatTheFuckIsThat · 04/04/2024 22:21

I once trod in cat vomit, when I had bare feet

that is scientifically the only way to find cat vomit or contact lenses.

Deathraystare · 10/04/2024 09:33

I was in Vietnam having lunch and really, really fancied a Bloody Mary to go with it. I don't need to describe the taste of what it should have tasted like to all you foodie or should that be drinkie MNs but what I got was an absolute horror show with loads of sugar in it!!!* I asked her to put some soy sauce in it to give it at least a bit of a tang (she looked horrified!!).

I would like Alf Garnett to play me please!!

*they seem obsessed with sugar in Vietnam.

BuxtonBunny · 10/04/2024 10:36

I took my niece swimming and we called for a McDonald’s on the way. Went in the pool
and I lifted her out of the water and she promptly vomited part-digested chicken nuggets and chips into my mouth and the surrounding water. I’m a life long vegetarian as well to make it worse. They had to close the pool.

a few years later i had my nephew on my knee cooing at him, he was almost 1 at this point and had just been breast fed. Out of nowhere he projectile vomited breast milk straight into my face and as my mouth had been open it FILLED my mouth.

ive also stood on a slug barefooted. And got the poo of a patient on my thumb. Not even sure how that happened and I had 2 pairs of gloves on.

enoughrainnow · 10/04/2024 18:19

rightoguvnor · 04/04/2024 19:23

It was the first camping trip of the season. I was excited to get into my snug sleeping bag. As I got in I dislodged and broke a spider nest and 1 million baby spiders ran all over and inside my sleeping bag.

Also, when I was on nights last week, there was a slug on my hand. And I don't know how long it had been there.

OMG, this is quite literally the stuff of nightmares. The spiders and the slug.
😱

DramaLlamaBangBang · 10/04/2024 21:16

Deathraystare · 10/04/2024 09:33

I was in Vietnam having lunch and really, really fancied a Bloody Mary to go with it. I don't need to describe the taste of what it should have tasted like to all you foodie or should that be drinkie MNs but what I got was an absolute horror show with loads of sugar in it!!!* I asked her to put some soy sauce in it to give it at least a bit of a tang (she looked horrified!!).

I would like Alf Garnett to play me please!!

*they seem obsessed with sugar in Vietnam.

God I remember the creamy sweet deliciousness of condensed milk at the bottom of my coffee to this day, and I went to Vietnam 20 years ago!

PriscillaPresssley · 10/04/2024 21:37

Years ago I boiled an egg and when I cut the top off there was a chicken in it. Bleuuugh

HurryupHenry · 10/04/2024 21:55

@PriscillaPresssley what the fuck???? That’s put me off of eggs for life.

PriscillaPresssley · 10/04/2024 21:57

HurryupHenry · 10/04/2024 21:55

@PriscillaPresssley what the fuck???? That’s put me off of eggs for life.

Yes me too, took me days to feel right about the world again.

HurryupHenry · 10/04/2024 21:59

@NCFTS I can’t read past the first sentence of yours 🤮 I’ve got a strong stomach but absolutely do not do bogeys.

TheFireflies · 10/04/2024 22:25

NCFTS · 05/04/2024 19:48

I’ve just remembered a horrible thing that happened to my Nan. It makes me feel sick every time I think of it! I was about 5 or 6 years old and we were eating banana sandwiches. I had a huge green snotty bogey up my nose and I suppose because I was only 5 I pulled it out and put it on the side of my plate (which is vomit-inducing to think about now!). My Nan didn’t see me do it and said ‘oh, I like the bruise on a banana’ and before I could say anything she scooped it up and ate it! 🤮

I can’t bear this, it’s really made me retch. It’s also reminded me of the time I was getting down to things with my ex, he was on top of me, when I saw a large bogey fall out of his nostril and felt it go into my mouth. That was 30 years ago and I still retch when I think of it.

iloveautumn3 · 10/04/2024 22:56

crackofdoom · 04/04/2024 19:20

I inhaled an earwig. You know how they like hiding in dark crevices? Turns out the mouthpiece of an asthma inhaler fits the bill perfectly (of course I'd lost the cap). So I took a mighty puff and it went a long way down. It came back up in the mother and father of all coughing fits, and blow me if the little bugger didn't get up and scuttle off.

I had a wooden recorder as a kid. No idea why I sucked all the air out of it this included an earwig hiding in it. Your post just reminded me.

Fernticket · 11/04/2024 09:43

TheFireflies · 10/04/2024 22:25

I can’t bear this, it’s really made me retch. It’s also reminded me of the time I was getting down to things with my ex, he was on top of me, when I saw a large bogey fall out of his nostril and felt it go into my mouth. That was 30 years ago and I still retch when I think of it.

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🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤮🤢

cantcatchmenow · 11/04/2024 15:39

This thread has been good at stopping me reach for the afternoon snacks today 😱

I have quite a few that spring to mind but one of the worse has to be be pulling something out of my pups mouth thinking it was a stone or stick etc to realise it was a huge piece of dog poo and having to finish the rest of a 5k walk with my hands covered in it.

Also had both of these happen in one day in rural Cambodia - there was a huge blue bottle fly in my curry after eating half. I then got some sticky rice dessert thing from another place (to make up for the crap dinner) only to find loads of dead ants in it after eating several bites.

PerplexedPickle · 11/04/2024 21:05

cantcatchmenow · 11/04/2024 15:39

This thread has been good at stopping me reach for the afternoon snacks today 😱

I have quite a few that spring to mind but one of the worse has to be be pulling something out of my pups mouth thinking it was a stone or stick etc to realise it was a huge piece of dog poo and having to finish the rest of a 5k walk with my hands covered in it.

Also had both of these happen in one day in rural Cambodia - there was a huge blue bottle fly in my curry after eating half. I then got some sticky rice dessert thing from another place (to make up for the crap dinner) only to find loads of dead ants in it after eating several bites.

Thankfully none of these horror stories appear to relate to chocolate or biscuits 🤣

Fernticket · 11/04/2024 22:21

PerplexedPickle · 11/04/2024 21:05

Thankfully none of these horror stories appear to relate to chocolate or biscuits 🤣

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I can soon change that. I used to work in a hospital many years ago. One of the nurses that I knew told me about a patient she had who liked to roll bits of her own poo 💩 into little balls, put them into a Malteasers bag and then ask people if they would like a Malteaser💩🤢
.

PerplexedPickle · 12/04/2024 06:40

Fernticket · 11/04/2024 22:21

I can soon change that. I used to work in a hospital many years ago. One of the nurses that I knew told me about a patient she had who liked to roll bits of her own poo 💩 into little balls, put them into a Malteasers bag and then ask people if they would like a Malteaser💩🤢
.

Show quote history

Oh lord! Did anyone ever take her up on it?

Original poster

IHateLegDay · 12/04/2024 11:25

@Fernticket I retched so hard at that and threw my phone away from myself. My DH picked up my phone, read your comment and laughed hysterically for about 5 minutes straight 😂

OP posts:

SamBeckett · 12/04/2024 12:41

@IHateLegDay go and buy you dh a bag of malteses, open them , make a show of picking the right one for you then handing the bag to him.
Bonus points if you come from the direction of the bathroom 😂