How to deal with neighbours who bang and shout when my toddler cries?

[17O222]

We live in a flat and my 2 year old (obviously) cries when he wants something, hungry, wakes up etc. like any other normal 2 year old. I don’t feel he cries any more than a normal toddler of his age and we don’t leave him to just cry and cry.
I completely understand that this would be annoying to neighbours, I don’t enjoy it either!
My neighbours upstairs have started banging, stomping, turning their music up so loud we can’t hear the TV and sometimes screaming. These people are in their mid 50’s so just odd behaviour.
How would you deal with this or would you just ignore it? I feel like it’s really stressing me out everytime my toddler cries now because I’m worried at how they’ll react. We can’t afford to move right now so that isn’t an option but hopefully in a year so we’ll be able to move.

You must be on a wind up? What kind of unicorn 2 year old do you have?

@AllThePotatoesAreSinging

Do you not think the police are busy enough without false reporting?? What a stupid & dangerous suggestion.

@17O222

Your 2 year old should need to be crying all the time. Are they otherwise non verbal? Can they not signal without the crying??

your neighbours aren't helping, but you're not being reasonable either, especially in flats.

ignore the neighbours & concentrate on stopping your child crying unnecessarily.

Why does my bloody iPhone change things like shouldn't to should?? Bloody thing drives me nuts!!

Just ignore them and turn your tv up people like that need remonding that A they were that age once and do out need to revisit it age is not an excuse and B their children and grandchildren have all cried plenty in their time yours is no exception and entitled to like theirs express himself …. People like them make me sick good luck

But the OP has said he doesn’t cry a lot. No more than any normal toddler.

Wow. Are you for real or on a wind up?
A 2 year old will cry. I know grown ass adults who can’t use their words to express their emotions, how on earth do you expect that from a 2 yo?
OP didn’t say all the time and I’d go a step further and say no tears are unnecessary. You seem to be pretty cold. I kinda hope you don’t have kids if you believe they shouldn’t be crying by 2!

I think it probably depends on what side of two we are talking about. A 2, nearly 3 year old won’t cry when they are hungry, they will ask for food. They won’t cry when they wake up, they will get out of bed and come get you, or shout your name.
Whereas a recently turned two year old may still be working on the correct vocabulary or not be in a bed yet.
I did think the same as you originally but I’m probably remembering the later stages of 2.
Obviously all 2 year olds cry occasionally when not getting their own way too!

Two year olds can cry, fine.
Should two year olds be crying so loudly and continuously that it disrupts your neighbours?

What are you doing about this situation? What responsibility are you taking as the home owner and parent to minimise disruption for your neighbours? Direct conversation or improvements to your flat? Or is it easier to post on MN where people will tell you "there there, your neighbours are horrible people".

My brother had this because of my nephew running around apparently was too loud
so he took the 2 year old up to the neighbours, and was super energetic and happy and in their face talking and saying ‘sorry if he’s a bit loud sometimes’
the woman upstairs was mortified she never did it again.

So your brother essentially intimidated a woman into silence then. You must be very proud

Id get a broom and knock back at them

If you want to live without the normal every day life sounds of children there are a couple of options:

1. Live in a detached house
2. Live in a retirement community
3. Pay for top quality insulation

What is not an option is living in flats and expecting toddlers in the same building to be silent for you.

Hahahahahaahahah are you okay?!!!
it was okay to bang on the ceiling because he was running around in the middle of the day? Like that wasn’t intimidating?!
I guess you must be the OPs neighbour!
it is not ok to bang on floors/ceilings cos children are loud. Or turn music up to prove a point. THAT is intimidating. Children are loud. Thats children.
yes. He took him up there to meet her thinking if he faced the problem head on, where she sees the toddler it might work. Which it did.

What times are we talking about? If it's 6 AM on a Saturday I'd be pissed off, too.

I also think that a 2 year old shouldn’t be crying that much. Sorry but why are they getting to a point that they are crying when their hungry? they even tell you with newborns to pick up on hunger cues so that your not getting to the crying stage. Don’t they communicate that they’re hungry? Why waking up crying too? 2 year olds are usually happy and full of life when they wake up so I’d be worried about that. Are they getting 3 meals plus snacks? 2 year olds cry when they are frustrated and yes have tantrums but they really shouldn’t be crying because they are hungry.

Children are loud. Thats children

That's where you are wrong.

I come from a country where British people say we love children and are kinder towards children. But that's because parents in those countries have no problems teaching their kids that actually being loud isn't normal.

Oh FFS it’s not intimidating, is it?

He took him up there to meet her thinking if he faced the problem head on, where she sees the toddler it might work

He took him up there thinking that rather than educate his child, he could guilt the woman into silence, and it worked.

I disagree. It’s not false reporting is it, because there’s an issue. I think if 2 adults are screaming for no apparent reason then it’s a cause for concern and probably something that needs calling through to the non emergency line. For all I know there’s DV going on. I can’t make assumptions that it’s because of a toddler - that’s not exactly normal behaviour - and I can’t see through walls. It would be stupid and dangerous to ignore it.

If it is about the toddler then it still needs a call to the non emergency line because it’s a pretty fucking psychotic reaction. It needs to be on file - these neighbours will probably escalate if unchecked and there has been plenty of stuff in the press lately about neighbour issues ending in tragedy.

Haha yes. Do it every single time. Tell them you think it's a domestic and the woman is screaming.

My daughter would wake up crying throughout the night at two because she needed me. She couldn’t understand her own hunger queues so would cry. She didn’t say she was hungry until she was four. She’s autistic, though we had no idea at the time but to say that a kid shouldn’t be crying at two is such a sweeping generalisation.

I am afraid I can see their point although I don't agree with the way they are carrying the message (they should be talking to you directly).

Having sat this week on trains with several children screaming at the top of their lungs simply because they are bored and who can't stay still for 2 minutes and throw a tantrum if they can't have a tablet (which they then use at full volume) while mummy and daddy do nothing whatsoever, I do think something has gone wrong with many British parents...

You also need to teach your kids that that level of noise is not appropriate.

Parents in other countries seem to manage it while Brits just let their kids run riot on public places and it seems at home too and are raising kids without boundaries.

Your kid is not a baby anymore and it sounds like the people above have reached the end of their patience.

Maybe self-reflect a bit and understand that your neighbours are allowed to a quiet enjoyment of their own home too.

''@Loulou599

That's where you are wrong.

I come from a country where British people say we love children and are kinder towards children. But that's because parents in those countries have no problems teaching their kids that actually being loud isn't normal.''

Agreed. I was raised in another EU country and there is a massive difference in young children's behaviour. People also won't hesitate to comment on parents who have unruly kids so there is also a social pressure to behave better especially in public places.

Are you really this clueless?

2 year olds can be a lot worse t ha tiny newborns. You can't stop them by offering them milk, thy eyes front a get angry at the smallest inconvenience.

Not even the point of the thread PLUS you're wrong anyway 🙄🙄