Dressing gown of doom is on

[reallyworriedjobhunter]

He has been made unwell by a takeaway that he ate late last night and is concerned that I am not checking on him often enough. He has limped all the way downstairs to tell me this.

I think there are two choices, it's clearly not contagious so he can supervise reading time while you clean up the kitchen (with a large glass of wine)

Or
You teach the kids how to broadcast on Alexa. She can rap, count backwards from 1000 and all kinds of irritating things......

Oh God OP this is exasperating but you're so hilarious! Kids and DCat are lucky to have you!

DGoD posts are the best thing about MN - no one will change my mind.

sending grit OP!

Has he got the Expression of Endurance and quavering Voice of Valour?

Op, I agree with this.

Good luck.

I'm sure you've all been on tenterhooks waiting for an update.

I've assembled the small IKEA trolley which works v well in the kids bathroom, cleaned up after tea etc. DCat and NDNCat have gone out for a walk.

Meanwhile, DGODDH has gone to bed, now saying that due to now having suspected norovirus he is going to sleep in the spare room for reasons of infection control.

So we've gone from dodgy takeaway tummy to norovirus (while being able to eat spag bol).

He is due in the office on Thursday and I'm planning on asking him to wear the DGOD over his suit so that everyone in the office can understand how serious this has all been.

Absolutely. And the Hunch of Quiet Humility.

How much does it cost to get the BBC to film a video update for the nation?

This isn't funny actually. He's pretending to be ill, and quite frequently, so you do more of the work on top of a job. I'd put him straight asap.

OP this is hilarious.

@marmaladeandpeanutbutter There is indeed a real point to all this sarcasm. He is a lazy twat and I am so deeply fed up with it.

Two questions

1. what are t.rex arms (I mean I know on dino they are silly small things but how does that translate to a human)? And
2. is likilix pronounced likeeee licks or licky licks? This I have to know!

I think the T Rex arms are the physical manifestation of the whiny, reedy voice that people put on when they believe they are ill. Think of the OP’s husband shuffling about and holding his arms in front of him to emphasise how extremely unwell he is - he couldn’t possibly do something useful like carry anything as he is much too ill.

Ha remember dressing gown of doom from last year. Has the poor dear managed to close the dressing gown of doom or did he ask you to help.

You must have the patience of a saint but think it is your humour which keeps you sane. Loving this thread.

What? Tell the stupid twat to do some yoga and grow a pair 😂😂😂

There's only one option.
Switzerland.

How much does it cost?
Asking for a friend....

I think you can trade in dressing gowns for a discount. Like recycling phones.

Maybe DCs can compose + record some sort of ‘poor dad is sick’ lament, or a get well rap. And get Alexa to broadcast that too.

please can they do that…

@Tadpole2 i do so love that tshirt. Poor little Peter rabbit. If only I had known about MN and the DGOD when I gave unmedicated birth to my daughter only to come home and have DH(now ex) wearing DGOD and a freaking hospital mask…pre pandemic and no one wore them or owned them..and I thought huh you sick? DGOD was the first acronym I really had to research. Now please tell me MN what’s “the filthiest kabob” consist of ..Spicy???

Or Shredded Wheat. Horribly scratchy on the way out.

This thread is very funny and I am enjoying it while flashbacking to DH's last bout of covid (to be fair, first bout was genuinely awful and his fever and cough were insane but now any covid-like symptoms bring on an immediate virtual DGOD even when he's just got a mild sore throat. Also, lots of discussion about "danger").

But it's also sad as this isn't just a funny little quirk of an usually lovely man. Stiff ankles so he can't do a school run?! WTAF?

You sound like you’re coping very well wiht an absolute twat monkey. I’d be considering leaving for just the ‘stiff’ ankle that means he can’t do drop offs, this latest episode would definitely be terminal and it wouldn’t be due to the ‘norovirus’. I’m sorry you landed one of these, I am quite sure you didn’t realise it at the time!

Because someone with gut rot due to. dodgy takeaway doesn't need constant check-ins. It's not as if they need food, after all, and a glass or two of water is all the fluid they should be taking in. They just need to be left on their own with free access to the bathroom.