Dressing gown of doom is on

[reallyworriedjobhunter]

He has been made unwell by a takeaway that he ate late last night and is concerned that I am not checking on him often enough. He has limped all the way downstairs to tell me this.

Aw it's been ages since I've seen a dressing gown of doom mentioned. <Gazes into the distance in a haze of nostalgia>

A stiff ankle and a dodgy tummy, oh dear...😒

Also, one of his ears is still slightly blocked from a cold last week. So he has been ignoring DCat's requests. Hence the staring.

He sounds pathetic but only you will know if normally he is a good and decent husband and father and therefore something else might be going on.

He needs this.

Lighten up a bit

😂this could be a great thread. Op, I'd get the addresses of those who think you're mistreating him and SEND HIM TO THEM!

He has broadcast a message via Alexa asking what is for tea. In a quivery quavery voice.

Oh ffs.

He's being very annoying.

A dirty kebab. Obviously.

That would do my head in, ill or not. I'd also be nipping in the bud, not able to do the school drop-off because of a stiff ankle. What?

I'm not answering. I'll broadcast back when tea is ready. It's spaghetti Bol btw.

Tell him no food for 24 hrs!
Anyway he can't be that ill if he's thinking about food🥴

Yep - one of our kids is in a special school and the other two are in primary. So it's two drops in two different directions. I manage to get us all up, fed, clothed, packed lunches done with both drops offs done and me arriving at the office while he shuffles about. End of my tether with it all.

If he’s got food poisoning then all he gets is a piece of dry toast and water.
Wouldn’t want to prolong the illness……

I'm thinking of following the school's protocol and not allowing him back into mainstream society (downstairs) for 48hrs.

🤣🤣🤣

Poor guy. Such attention seeking behaviour leads me to question what he is like in other aspects of his life? Is he very needy all the time?

What was his childhood like? Did his mum ignore him when he was ill? I can't work out why anyone would be like this. But the quavery voice has me howling.
I would broadcast back "come downstairs and see" and then present him with dry toast and a glass of water. For his "dodgy tummy"

Indeed. Very sensible I think.

Has he done the little T-Rex arms yet?

I say.....
You take off and Nuke him from orbit
It's the only way to be sure

The works. The voice, the sighing, the little arms and tilted head.

He'll get no sympathy from DCat either if it's anything like ours.

I'm currently in a similar predicament (not from a dirty kebab though!) hour 20 ish on plain water and energy vitamin tablets. Spag bol would be an absolute bomb to eat if he's truly ill!

Can you strap a piece of plain bread on DCat and send the offering up?

He said he is tired and smallest DC who took great pleasure in reading every single road sign on the M4 between Bristol and London yesterday sighed and said 'Tiredness can kill'. They are going to be like him at this rate.

Have you checked the life insurance policy; know where it is? Know who to notify; all bank accounts, employer etc.

DCat wouldn't tolerate it. He might take him a Likilix.