Dressing gown of doom is on

[reallyworriedjobhunter]

He has been made unwell by a takeaway that he ate late last night and is concerned that I am not checking on him often enough. He has limped all the way downstairs to tell me this.

Brilliant.

So funny

"Shush, darling, don't try to speak, you need to save your energy"

take a deep breath, steel yourself, force a sympathetic expression on your face

"here's a pint of water for your bedside table so you stay hydrated, why don't you snuggle up and listen to a podcast, poor you, it is awful"

Then you remove yourself and pour a large glass of wine/eat your favourite snacks. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

How can he expect sympathy for a bad stomach when he's able to eat??

This is an excellent thread to skim through just reading the OPs posts.

It should really be a bit like ICU when someone has their eyes on you at all times I guess.

I thought DCat was doing that?

When I had food poisoning I couldn't eat anything for about 2 days, and then just nibbled on digestive biscuits for a couple more.

No way could I have eaten spag bol!

Let the cat do the nursing..... they are very good at it 🤣🤣

Say briskly, 'Don't be utterly ridiculous! If you believe you are well enough for spag bol there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If you actually have a gippy tummy then you won't be able to eat anything before 6pm tomorrow evening. Is that clear? Now which is it? Actually ill - and needing some sympathy? Or perfectly well and trying it on?' Turn a stern eye on him.

Needs to be said in a Mary Poppins voice for full effect.

Poor mite hasn't got any strength, needs his nutrients 🙄

Oh my pregnancy morning sickness flashbacks; spaghetti and popcorn are the absolute worse things to vomit! Spaghetti noodles out the nose like worms…..
definitely not spaghetti for doomed dh tonight.

😱😱😱😱 that could never be allowed to happen 😱😱😱😱

Best cover him with a bath towel before carefully handfeeding him. The poor poor soul must be protected.

I told my dp last time he was poorly, if he spoke in ‘that pathetic voice’ again I would leave him

major ick 🤣

Thank you all for your support at this difficult time.

Despite all your advice, he has eaten the spag bol and at the table with the rest of us. Still wearing GDOD.

We have all scattered in anticipation of a relapse. Middle child has taken my extra powerful noise cancelling headphones to watch Eras on Disney.

Glad to hear the DGOD made it through dinner.

Oh the poor thing.
You need to keep us informed as to his progress or otherwise.
Would he like a little warm milk in a cup

DCat's best friend has come round, NDNCat.

NDNCat has gone upstairs in the hope of finding an attic window open so he can go out for a walk on the rooftops. We live in a long terrace.

However, DGODDH is lying on the bed in the attic with his eyes half closed and NDNCat is looking at him and wondering what is going on.

NDNCat is looking to DCat for an explanation.

NDNCat does not like this one bit. DGODDH tried to stroke him with the little TRex arms.

DH fell ill 11 days ago. He didn't put on the DGOD, he didn't shuffle or clutch the door frame, he didn't say "oh deary me" when climbing out of his chair. He simply walked upstairs, got into bed and stated in his normal voice "I think something's really wrong". I called for a paramedic. 8 days in hospital.

He's home now and nearly better. I've laid out the DGOD and Ratty Slippers for this last little bit.

I hope the poor love survives the night!

I have my dressing gown of doom on. I ate a beef curry from a new Chinese takeaway on Saturday and now have food poisoning.

Called my GP surgery this morning when my poo turned bright red. Dr came out for a home visit at 9am (that seriously worried me). He took some bloods and a poo sample (lovely). Phoned at 5 to tell me that I have e-coli 0157 so I am actually quite poorly. I've to have repeat bloods tomorrow to check my kidneys as apparently it can damage them. Also will be contacted by public health at some point.

Anyway OP my husband has been working from home and checking on me every 30 minutes and honestly I wish he would piss off and leave me wallowing.

There's no way I could eat spaghetti bolognese right now but maybe your DH has a super bug that makes you feel dreadful but means you can eat perfectly fine. I'd call the newspapers to report this miracle 😝

I'm sorry. That sounds terrifying. Sending best wishes for his recovery. Hope the DGOD and slippers help.

I think that the kindest thing might be to have him put down as he's suffering so much.

He's a dying swan.

The next time he comes down that he needs to sleep

OR

Take his temperature and do nursey things explaining that he needs to go to A&E. Offer to ring a cab to take him as you can't possibly leave the DC. Watch him turn pale and feel a bit better OR enjoy several hours of peace and quiet.

Totally - stay in that DGOD for as long as you need. That is just awful. I really hope that no lasting damage is done.

When you are feeling able to, do report them to your council.

🤣🤣🤣 Good lord I think my vagina would have turned to dust and disintegrated at this!