Post something about yourself which you have been judged for?

[BrickPoet]

I will start
I like wrestling and Hawaiian pizza

Pineapple on pizza. Most recently a doner kebab and pineapple pizza.

I'm sure I'm judged for many things, but I don't know which ones, as no one is brave or stupid enough to tell me to my face!

Having a quite dangerous hobby even though I have a small child

Only having one child

Letting my child watch a screen probably far too much by Mumsnet standards

Looking at my phone too much when my child is sat next to me.

Going back to work full time after having a baby (funnily nobody said the same to my husband and he was praised for taking shared parental)

Wearing too short skirts

Taking jobs away from men (I work in a heavily male dominated industry)

Mixed feeding our baby, and saying I found the formula half a lot less hassle and a lot easier

Going to a leaving do when our baby was 3m old (in the evening, when the baby was asleep and being cared for by their father)

Having a glass of wine when breastfeeding

Just enjoying wine and food in general

Not ironing anything

Having a cleaner and splitting all chores equally with my husband

Enjoying holidays with a baby

Marrying a man three decades older.
(20 years ago).

Being genuinely terrified of dogs, no matter their size or breed. The judgement still amazes me. There's a lot of misunderstanding about fear and dislike not being the same thing at all.

Also, being 'well spoken' and having fairly wealthy parents.

Formula feeding by choice.

Dressing differently to those of a similar age as me. Nothing alternative, I just prefer to dress quite modest and "boring" I guess you could say!

Reality is I struggle with body image so there's few things I actually feel comfortable to go out in.

Kids to different men. Raising a child from birth that's not mine ( kinship carer) for reasons I won't go into here.

Being an introvert.
Only having one child.

Not being very domesticated.
Not cooking everything from scratch. (Hi MIL! 😬)
Not being maternal or wanting children.
Being bisexual.

(The last two are unconnected btw. And MIL definitely doesn't know about #4. 😄)

Divorcing my now ex husband (for very good reasons). Apparently as a mum I should keep the family together and not create a fuss.

Being a woman
Not wanting children
Becoming disabled
Becoming fat
Having I what I now finally know is high functioning autism but I was frequently accused of having too high standards back when I could still work
Preferring animals to people
Believing that biological sex cannot be changed

Being an older mum.

As a teen - being goth / dressing alternative

• not being a 'proper goth' according to other alternative types

As an adult - being a young mum ( people often estimate younger)

• Living on the rough estate
• dc1 has a different father to dc2&3

I'm a woman so I've been judged for:
Being thin and then being fat
Wearing revealing clothes and then being dowdy. Wearing no/too much make up
Shouting too much at football matches, not shouting at football matches.
Having children and working full time/part time and not at all.
Having a tidy house and a messy house
Having lots of sex/refusing to have sex.
For smiling and not smiling at men.
Being too opinionated in meetings/not being opinionated enough.
Walking alone at night/refusing to walk home alone

Being blonde

It's astounding how many of these are related to children - not having children, having one child, working with children, being a stay at home mum etc. I'd be interested to know who was doing the judging! Is it men or other women?

Women in my case. I don’t think men could give a shiny shit (or probably even notice)

Having children with special needs

It was men in my case.

Being a step mother. Everyone assumes I was the OW. I wasn't.

The worst one EVER was a man at a place where I was temping. He would not leave it alone and took my childfree status as a personal insult until told none too subtly to zip it and that even if I died alone and was eaten by my cats* that would be my business, not his. He had a small daughter and I couldn't help thinking that she was going to be given no choice whatsoever about being a mother once she grew up, given the weight of expection he was placing on a near stranger.

*cats were imaginary but he didn't know that.

Being too indian/ not being Indian enough
My weight
How unkempt I was as a child.
My social skills
How good a daughter/ sister / mother I am
That my marriage is crap [ see social skills]
My inability to drive a proper car.
That I haven't reached Mt potential
That I haven't forgiven a late parent as once the die we should forgive and forget...

Being American

Not breastfeeding (I couldn't but not telling random cow in work that!)
Being a working mum
Wearing a lot of make up
Liking having my hair done
Putting on weight
Having 1 child (not by choice but very happy)
Not being able to drive