My Wife The Abuser: The Secret Footage

[Lumpalicious]

Anyone watching? Channel 5 now.

Is Erin Pizzey no longer with us ? I remember when she started Chiswick Women's Aid . Why did she fall out with some feminists?

She's still here but doesn't get the credit she deserves. Fell out with feminists, iirc, for suggesting women sometimes contributed to stoking the fires of dv. She had some quite odd, in my opinion, ideas but there would be no refuges without her so, also in my opinion, that overcomes everything else. People need to be safe. Thanks to her many women and children have been.

That isn't true though there have been documentaries about females being victims of domestic abuse. I remember watching one where a young woman had been killed by her partner. Actors played the victim and her abusive partner and that was very difficult to watch.

There is no browny points for which sex you are, nobody should be treated in such a manner, the experts that were on the BBC stated that 1 in 5 men are abused whether that be from another male, female or child.

Forget gender, nationality, religion, race, sexuality, it is simply wrong to treat other human-beings in such a manner, nothing can justify it?

Thanks @newnamethanks ashamed to say I'd forgotten about her till that post jogged my memory. Strong woman.

True

A vile woman. She clearly is an alcoholic I’ve been around enough to recognise that bitterness in the slurred voice during the drunken abuse.

Still can’t stop thinking about this today. I hope Richard and the girls have moved away as shes in an open prison in York and us allowed out, really worries me for there safety. Will she be allowed contact with the dcs?

I should have thought keeping away from him and the kids would be a condition of her cushy sentence and early release. But who knows?

I hope so and that she does.

Too cocky is the right answer, she thought she was being clever paving the way for it to look like he was the abuser, he was so under her control she didn’t think he’d dare say anything let alone record it.

The police didn’t need to interview the children, they were there in the footage watching it all, even the dog seemed relaxed and unaffected by it all as it was just normal behaviour. At one point the toddler gets out of her way so she could beat him up and comes back when the coast is clear to get a hug from Dad. Another point the kids stand back while Dads being kicked and punched to the floor, when she’s walked away the oldest bends over to see if Dads ok and jumps back as the mother walks back in the frame.

Sadly, the officer was a human being before she became a cop and whilst she probably tried her best, sometimes, as a human being, your emotions get the better of you.

I have an adult son and this made my blood run cold.

Not at all, what an odd thing to say. The poor man was traumatised.

Ditto. I have a daughter too and she is very independent and assertive, I always think she wouldn't stand for any nonsense. But ....how can you tell anymore? Bullies are so manipulative. They seem to have a radar that zeroes in on their victims. And anyone can be a victim. Anyone at all.

Just watching this and wow. That a hideous excuse for a human that woman is. Glad her name has been made very public with this- hope the rest of her life is absolute hell and her children are kept away from her and given support for the traumatic childhood they have had. Money can’t buy happiness clearly

Agree hes traumatised poor bloke

@2dogsandabudgie true.

I've watched it all in full now and it was a hard watch. Her sentence is too short

But I'm very bothered that this happened in front of their children and I wish he'd been able to leave sooner/ she'd have been exposed sooner, so the impact on their children would have been lessened.

I also can't be 100% sure that the wouldn't take her back! Just got that vibe from him, like some sort of codependency thing

Is that called 'learned helplessness ' @TabithaTwitchel ? Might have a different meaning , psychology is a bit of a blind spot for me alas.

When I was doing a post grad one of my fellow students was being horribly abused by his wife, including her taking a knife to him not just threatening it. As it was all witnessed by their children I reported it to SS, who couldn't have cared less.

A woman may not be believed, but a man is even less likely. Bigger, stronger, not as connected to the DCs so more able to leave etc.

trauma bond

I just watched this tonight. I wonder what she was like sober?
I also thought about how shocking it is to see, and the fact that something very similar is happening up and down the land to women right now.
Thinking about it now though I think the interest here comes more from the fact it was all caught on camera.
The disadvantage he had over a woman in his position was if he'd left he probably would have never seen his kids again, she definitely would have used them against him.
Without hard evidence she probably could have convinced people he was the abuser.
I'm a woman who has had some similar experiences as he did, not the physical violence but the coercive control elements, verbal abuse and so on, and I recognised the stuff around telling the kids, just say what you think mum (or dad in my case) wants you to say. Don't worry about sticking up for me, I know you love me.
And about how it starts when you think you can make them happy, because ultimately they are unhappy people. But you never can of course.
Anyway, very good programme I thought.

That was such a harrowing watch ☹️

This program would trigger me. I grew up watching my step dad beat up my mum, the horror of it 24/7.

I called the police when I was little. It was the first phone call I ever made. Rotary phone.

"Please come, my dad is hitting my mummy".

Police came and they said "it's just a domestic, no further action".

I endured it for a decade. Learned no one would come.