My Wife The Abuser: The Secret Footage

[Lumpalicious]

Anyone watching? Channel 5 now.

Just watching it. I’m so glad he has met someone lovely and the dcs doing well. I’m finding it hard going, the way she treated him and in front of those little girls. 😭

I just really wish people understood better how often women can also abuse - especially their children, whom they have so much power over.

That. I'm not going into detail, but this documentary absolutely DID need making and there's no double standard. There is plenty of publicity about DV. There are lots of organisations that women, if they can face it, can contact for help. Pretty much everyone here will be able to name one. We recommend the organisation often enough.

Can anyone name somewhere where an abused man can go to for help? If you think women aren't believed often enough, how often do you think a man would be?

How likely do you think it is that a man would report DV from his female partner? Who would believe him? How could he explain it?

This documentary needed making so that the men (and it doesn't matter that they're a smaller number) who are being treated this way can recognise themselves and think that maybe, now, they might be believed.

I find it weird that some posters seem to resent a man getting the attention here.

this is happening to countless women every single day.

No one bats an eyelid it’s so common and it certainly wouldn’t warrant a tv documentary

Rubbish. Of course people bat an eyelid. And there've been multiple documentaries and dramas about DV on women.

Sadly, it happens quiet often at times to a lesser extent other times to more of an extent

Men find it harder to report as they fear they would be mocked and or not believed.

Someone I knew many years ago abused her husband but she made it as though he was no good until on a hot summers day her sibling walked in through the front door as it was open and she was kicking her husband as he sat crying. They divorced soon after and he is happily married

The lack of any maternal instinct was what made it more of a horrific case to me.. Her dc witnessed the kind of stuff an abused woman would try and shield her dc from.. Yet she never acknowledged their presence except when she drew them into it making them agree things about their poor df... We all hear to often how men walk away from dc without any remorse... She was more concerned about her hair straighteners than the whereabouts of her own bairns... I recognised where they are living now and may peace fill their days.

For those claiming that TV ignores domestic violence on women, here's just one of the many results I got when I googled 'documentaries about domestic violence'.

https://blogs.kcl.ac.uk/advance/2019/03/11/uk-channel-5-documentaries-highlight-the-effects-of-domestic-violence/

I too know a man who was abused. He's a big man, she's tiny. Didn't stop her smashing a bottle into his face among other things. He refused to seek help. It's emasculating I think, especially when you're a tall well built man. I don't know what things are like now but they stayed married.

Vile evil bitch, this was my husband's ex wife to a t. He took it because he knew no one would believe him. She was a pillar of the community a nurse, a tiny blond woman. Thank God she fucked off and got herself pregnant to someone else, I pity the poor bastard that got lumbered with her,and the kid she subsequently had. It was nearly forty years ago so she's long been forgotten, but that brought it to the forefront for us, she should rot in hell.

I watched the program, and cried for Richard and the little girls experiencing such horrendous abuse. I’m so pleased that the friend reported it, and that Richard was able to get some sort of justice for his suffering, and that he has gone on to find a loving relationship with a new partner.

I was physically and emotionally abused by my first husband, and the children often heard. Unfortunately, at that time (1970’s), police would not intervene at all. It was ‘a domestic’.

I wish I had been able to access some counselling, as even now I find some things triggering. It’s a life sentence.

How depressing and awful.
What a vile, evil woman.

Thank goodness the bloke's mate went and got help.

The poor dog probably got abused as well.

I just had a google and at least 6 organisations came up. So thankfully it is acknowledged and there is support out there for male victims of DV.

It was a thread about a man being abused was what prompted me to join as my brother was going through the same thing. And that was 17 years ago and nothing seems to have changed.

But once again you have women on here not believing or victim blaming when a man is being abused.

Both men and women can and are abusive, just as both men and women can be abused. We need to support the victim in getting help and help them out of the situation so they are safe.

I recorded this so I can watch when I'm less tired.

I would have liked some more context to the programme, did she ever show remorse to him afterwards and love bomb him, as is the pattern with DV perpetrators.
Did her coworkers etc have any suspicions of her behaviour because I can't believe someone who such vile behaviour seemed to come so easy to didn't let it spill out outside of the home.
Did she have alcohol issues and was she always drunk when it happened.
Just out of interest really.

I thought it was an incredibly powerful documentary and provided incredible insight onto DV regardless of the fact the victim was a man you could just have easily imagined it the other way around.
His account of how he tried to hide it all was heartbreaking and I'd imagine relatable to all DV victims.

The emotion his neighbours and friends must have felt when he disclosed must have broken them.

I’m sure knowing that they are part of a very small group is of great comfort to those victims

I'm very glad there is. But my point was that none of them are well known. A man would have to have reached desperation point before he googled to see if anyone's out there for him. Whereas Women's Aid is very well known and publicised, and most women would be aware that there is help available should they need it, before they actively look for it. I'm sure that means they feel they can access it earlier than men can.

Yes, thank god it is so much “easier” for women to access help for DV (although why you assume this I’m not really sure? Most women don’t report DV)

After all, they are 99.99% more likely to be battered by their male partners.

I don't want to derail this thread any further. But if you think that I'm considering that it's 'easy' for women, I'm clearly not. I'm taking about awareness and access to support.

I just think that it's a shame that a thread about a man being abused so terribly, can't exist without people jumping in to say "but women....!"

Let’s take the sex out of this for a moment. It was a worthwhile programme and it answered a lot of questions about why the abused stay with the abusers. How the abuser very often paint themselves as the victim ( she joined victim support ) . I wondered why friends and family or work colleagues did not know what is going on . It showed how the victim was isolated and how he covered up for the abuse . I imagine filling / recording might be very scary but thank goodness he did , together with the photos .

I think it could possibly help other DV victims to realise what they are going through is not normal or acceptable.

taking sex into account , how could any mother carry out that abuse in front of her children . She just did not hide anything and actually bought them in on it . Complete narcissist.

Vile woman, and a shame that men find it hard to disclose. Good that he’s found a happy life, and the kids are recovering.

She should have got a longer jail sentence.

For the year ending March 2022, the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that 1.7 million women and 699,000 men aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the last year. This is a prevalence rate of approximately 7 in 100 women and 3 in 100 men

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/domesticabusevictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2022#sex

I'm shocked at that. So this is completely wrong

After all, they (women) are 99.99% more likely to be battered by their male partners.

(sorry, really won't detail any more)

Has anyone else looked up the news stories relating to her? There's one from the friend who took her in, after she'd lied and said her marriage allegedly 'fell apart' when actually there was a court order on her not to go near her husband and home. She continued drinking excessively and ran off with her friend's husband who fell for her, and left his wife and child. She clearly has no empathy for anyone, no morals.

If that statistic is correct (which I seriously doubt) I’d be interested to know how much of it is women acting out the abuse and how much is male on male violence? I’d suspect largely the latter.

Also, as violent acts carried out by TW these days are recorded as being carried out by women, I’m not sure how skewed even those figures will be.

Hopefully someone more knowledgeable than I will be along to clarify.

All very well said @saraclara

Yes I was just reading that . Total scum.

Oh my goodness. The poor man. Read the article, didn't catch the documentary - can someone explain this if it was covered?

"The truth about her abuse emerged when Sheree contacted one of Richard’s friends claiming he was drunk and she feared he might do something.

Richard came clean when the friend came round and they were alone, telling him how he got a bruise on his face. He showed the friend one of the videos, who went to police on his behalf."

Why did she contact his friend to come over and be alone with him – power game? Too cocky? Why did she let him have access to the nanny cam footage? Again, too cocky?

Their children must have seen and heard it daily. I wonder if they were interviewed by police or not