My Wife The Abuser: The Secret Footage

[Lumpalicious]

Anyone watching? Channel 5 now.

Good move with the male officer forgetting to unmute his laptop though. Well played that man. She even tried to turn that round.

@SpeedwellBlue Haven't heard of that case, is that in the UK? Can I ask, what was it called and was it on TV?

I just thought that too.

Well done Humberside Police 👍🏻 Great job by the initial cops that attended, and good investigation and interview by that chap, the detective constable 🕵🏻‍♂️

Having watched the programme, it makes me happy to read he is in a loving relationship.

Indeed, may she rot in hell.

I was trying hard not to cry watching that poor man.. that woman is pure evil. And it's not just women who are abused by partner's just promoted awareness of that fact tonight I feel though man or woman nobody has the right to abuse anyone

I'm a little bit torn on this, tbh. Whilst the rational part of me is of course relieved that such nasty, blatant victim-blaming is removed, a small part of me wishes that posts like that could be left to stand as a reminder how some - probably many - people do genuinely believe.

It would be an open-and-shut case if such posts were left unchallenged; but when they soundly and steadfastly are, I do think that they may serve a purpose to be allowed to remain.

I see it was actually a friend of his who went to the police. Thank goodness they did because otherwise he might still be in that situation? He could have ended up dead. That poor man

I watched another program a few years back, very similar to this. The guy was interviewed on This Morning - it was harrowing. The trauma that these poor guys will hold will stay with them forever.

I watched it and it was completely horrific. However, and this wasn't looking for double standards, I just couldn't ignore them. There seemed to be much more sympathy and kindness from the police that, as a woman in similar situations, I have ever encountered.

Felt a bit like the reverence for single dads doing a job that single mums do and are ignored.

It was absolutely awful what this abusive wife did to her husband. She was truly vile. A harrowing documentary.

I read the article, I don't think I'd be able to watch it. What a vile piece of scum. The poor husband, the poor children.

I know it shouldn't matter but 7 bed house, holidays, both attractive it probably all seemed so perfect to outsiders. God love him.

I don't imagine prison will reform her.

It's shows that everything is about her.

It happens pretty much every time there is a thread on male dv victims. There’s a (sizeable) minority of posts blaming the man and excusing the violence. They (usually) get challenged and the thread goes south and gets deleted

then the next time, when anyone says that’s what happens on mumsnet, there’s no evidence

I don’t think I can watch it as I was a victim of domestic violence for years.

As for your mother exactly the same as my ex I had my glasses broken as I was hit in the face, as per the norm a day before an important event. So then have to ‘pretend’ I’ve broken them even though I can’t see without them 😰. As well as everything else going on made me feel like a liar as I couldn’t tell people the truth.

I hope your dad is OK now.

I don’t think I will manage to watch it as I have CPTSD from my past and it will probably start up my nightmares again. But victims can be anyone and any sex, as can the abusers. I hope this gentleman got the help he needs, there was zero help for me though (hence the CPTSD decades later) and all victims should be treated the same and offered help to recover.

She's in jail, as she should be. Let's hope that men who behave like her will receive the same treatment. It's been a long time coming if they do.

Mr Spencer said: 'In trying to block the footage being shown, she continued trying to exert control even from jail, but fortunately justice prevailed.
'It’s astonishing to me that she’s living a relatively easy life in prison, having been moved to an open jail after six months of her sentence.
'The judge in her case described it as the worst case of coercive control she had ever seen, so why she was considered for open prison so early is beyond me.
'She is due for release next February but she is able to go out for family and friend meetings and has been working in a cafe

Open jail

I can’t watch it as I know I’ll get too upset and angry but I’m so glad to hear this.

I haven’t watched the special yet, I am afraid to, but I saw the interview on BBC.

I felt so much kinship to him, blaming myself for not leaving sooner, looking to parent teacher interviews to hear that my children are doing well emotionally (really thinking that the academics are secondary as they heal from the trauma), so I take a lot of heart hearing he is doing so well now. I am glad he and his children are getting their chance at a happy life.

More men will hopefully come forward about abuse and so they should.
Some women are just vile and think they are never wrong.

Agreed @knittingball

Double standards is right. It’s no coincidence that when a woman is a domestic abuser, we get TV documentaries (there was one on the BBC quite recently) and widespread horror and condemnation, whereas male domestic abusers are simply too prolific to raise even the slightest glimmer of interest. Their victims either get murdered or blamed for not leaving.

Not wishing to denigrate this man’s suffering. It’s just very telling that his story has such a high profile.

What a ridiculous statement. You do realise police officers are human beings and have feelings to?.

Heartbreaking! What a brave man and what an evil human she is! Shocking!

Horrible bitch. 4 years wasn’t enough.