Is this odd for me to ask? - DSs girlfriend?

[Isthisweirdthough]

Ds has been with this absolutely lovely girl for around a year now. I adore her.

I managed to get 2 very good tickets for a band I love, and I know that she loves them too. The tickets were expensive so I want to take a fan.

Is it odd to ask her? I've bought tickets for ds, her and me to go to a couple of things before and its been fine, but this would be me and her alone.

It would involve travelling and an overnight stay.

This is my sons first serious relationship and I really want to include her in stuff, but don't want to be too overbearing either.

Would you feel weird if your boyfriends mum took you to a gig alone?

I think this is a lovely idea OP and not weird at all! I wish I had a MIL like you!

Hi, I’m not too far off her age and I wouldn’t find this weird or feel pressured! My boyfriend’s mum when I was her age was a massive part of my life and supported me in many ways and I still think fondly of her now. She also took me to a concert with her actually thinking of it and it wasn’t a pressured thing or weird at all! Go for it, she will probably love to be included by you

OP I think this is a lovely idea and the way you are planning to handle it (giving her an out via work schedule) is perfect.

I met my now DH when we were 21 (now mid 40s) and I would have been up for doing something like this with my MIL a year into our relationship. Hope you have a lovely time!

don’t think it’s a good idea, it’s too much time and money wise and not sensible IMO

Who is to say they will split up? They may end up getting married, having kids etc, or they may split up next month. No one knows!

I’m surprised lots didn’t pull you up on the fact you called her a girl when she is 22 🤣
Some people on MN seem to get very upset when the word ‘girl’ is used for an adult.

This. I've always been treated very well by my MiL. When I travel to the city where DS girlfriend lives I always let her know I'm coming and see if she's free for me to treat her to lunch or dinner that day. She usually says yes but once or twice said no as too busy at work to get away for lunch. I'd have no qualms offering her to go to a concert with me if I had a spare ticket.

Aww you sound like such a nice MIL. I would run it past your son and let him bring it up with her, that way she won't feel obliged to say yes if she doesn't want to.

Such a nice idea.

Good lord, what agonies over nothing! It’s absolutely fine! She’s an adult. You both inexplicably love Take That. It would be weirder if you didn’t ask her.
But if you’re a bit anxious, run it past your son first.

Just don't tell his gf how much tickets cost or you'll embarrass her.

Hi GF! I have just came across some amazing seats to see X band on X and bought them. 2nd row seats!! As you are a super fan like me I thought I'd offer you first refusal - no problem if you can't make it. Let me know.

I think you should give your DS the heads up first. Not to ask his permission but so he feels included. One year is still quite new and it would have annoyed me if my parent(s) had asked my partner to go to an important event (that had such significance re childhood etc) without mentioning it to me first. Different once you’re in an established MIL relationship and they’re actually family etc. If they break up will this ruin your memory of the event? @Isthisweirdthough

I think you are definitely over thinking this. I would mention to ds ask if he thinks his gf would like it . Then text and say she's welcome to come but no worries if she is busy.

I'd be surprised if she doesn't want to though.

I often have dilemmas like this about my adult children's partners. It's a relationship much more difficult to negotiate than people who haven't tried it realise! For what it's worth, I wouldn't dream of asking the other partner- I can't see how it can not look like asking their permission. I think I'd say simply say "I just impulse bought 2 tickets for Take That on July 21st-just wondered if you'd like to come along? No problem if you don't fancy it- Sarah'll take my hand off if you don't!"

Whenever I've asked about things like this, opinion has been incredibly divided.

Definitely ask her! You like her, you get on well with her and you know she's a big Take That fan!
My DS and his girlfriend (nearly 2 years) bought me two tickets to see a show that they know I like because I listen to the podcast. DS's girlfriend listens to it and loves it too.
They said I could obviously take whoever I wanted to but it was obvious to me to invite his girlfriend! Nobody else listens to the podcast but we both do and I know she'd enjoy it. She was thrilled that I asked her if she wanted to come with me!
Go for it!!!

You sound so lovely, it’s not weird at all.

You know she’s a huge fan, you have a spare ticket. She is welcome to decline with no hard feelings but I bet she bites your hand off! By the time you get back to the apartment you’ll be shattered anyway. You said there are separate rooms so you both have privacy. Go to the concert, go back and get some sleep and then go home the next morning. No big deal.

THIS! THIS sounds the perfect way to say it! Because it's actually true, so there can't possibly be any bad blood.

Yes, this. (those names though, is OP a hundred 😁). Now I’m going to have to find out if my similar aged son’s equally lovely gf would want to see BTS. I’d love to see them but need to look like I’m accompanying my daughter 😁

Oh god I never even thought of the cost embarrassing her. Something new to stress about.

Her birthday is the month after the gig so would it be more or less weird to give it as a gift, but then it's not really a gift if I'm inflicting myself on her as well 🤣 I don't really see it as spending 250 on her anyway, more like paying 500 to see someone I really want to see (also ridiculous).

I know I called her a girl, I know she's not, she's a lovely young woman, I still see my son as my baby boy though and he's 6ft 5 and built like the side of a house with a professional job and a house of his own 🤣

I could have Bojo on one side of me and Sunak on the other and it still wouldn't be ruined.

Please do keep an eye out for future threads such as "will this totally inoffensive outfit embarrass her and make her block my son on everything" or "I got the words to relight my fire wrong and now I'm stressing that she thinks I'm a fake fan and secretly hates me" 🤣

Thanks for all the advice, I'm just going to casually ask next week and give her the chance to say "no I have work".

just say I've bought these tickets do you fancy coming with me no need to mention money if she asks say its fine I bought thr tickets for me and a +1.

I think you sound lovely 😊

Please update the threat with her reply!

I will definitely update and tell you what she says next week.

I'll probably spend the weekend practising being nonchalant about asking in the mirror now 🤣

Nah it's fine! I regularly go out with DPs mum, to shows etc!

Please do keep an eye out for future threads such as "will this totally inoffensive outfit embarrass her and make her block my son on everything" or "I got the words to relight my fire wrong and now I'm stressing that she thinks I'm a fake fan and secretly hates me" 🤣
🤣🤣

I would just mention you have a spare ticket if she would like to come along. Tell her it would mean an overnight stay near the venue, and there is zero pressure for her to say yes. I'm sure you could resell the spare if needs must