Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

[ick26]

Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

OMG 😳

It's bad enough when teens want you to "sponsor" their holiday to walk the Great Wall of china or something, but a grown man??? 🤮

Why doesn't he just be done with the activities that he's never actually going to do and ask people to buy him a midlife crisis Porsche instead?

Only advice I can give you is this: if he even gets as far as the event itself, don't agree to go on holiday with him straight afterwards. My DH did this with his cousin who had just done Marathon des Sables and the daft knob spent 4 of the 7 days asleep, leaving DH pretty much on a solo trip. 😂

Oh god I'm cringing on your behalf OP.

The only GoFundMes I donate to are for things like funerals, unexpected costs like houses burning down or medical treatments etc. Some of the ones I've seen have been so, so embarrassing. Lots of 'help me have the holiday/wedding/designer outfit of my dreams!'. Yeah mate I'm afraid my priority is paying my bills and anything left over after that is going on my own dream holiday haha.

I think the worst was 'give me £10k to replace my e-scooter after I crashed it into a cordoned off police crime zone while riding it illegally on the pavement and had it confiscated by police The e-scooter costs approx £500 but the remaining £9.5k is to cover my stress and hurt feelings and a holiday to recover from the police brutality!!!'. Unsurprisingly sitting at £0 raised several months on 😅

So it could be worse I suppose... 🤣

I think he's misunderstood - isn't the idea that the person doing it pays for the event entirely themselves, and then additionally ask people to donate, and all the money from donations go straight to charity? Otherwise he is literally asking them to pay for his holiday.

I hate these types of charity events, there's always people fundraising for them for one of our charity partners at work but at least they make the effort to hold bake.sales and raffles.
I bet out of how much he would have to raise about 50p actually ends up going to the charity after they've covered his costs

..........but it really is not okay to do this at work

We used to get this at work too. The last one was someone wanting their Great Wall of China mid life crisis funded with anything raised above the cost going to a children's charity.

We were bombarded with guilt trips about the poor little children and how they suffered with the syndrome on an almost daily basis. It is a disgusting way to get a free adventure holiday.

Management stepped in and a policy was put out saying that while they supported fundraising efforts, and would match any actual charity donations made, it was not appropriate to repeatedly request support in the workplace as it could make people who do not wish to donate feel awkward and no one wants that. If anyone is fund raising, one email only was allowed to make people aware and it would be up to people to decide if they wanted to support. After the email no further emails or direct requests for funding were permitted.

Haha, serves the twat right. Is he embarassed by his poor takings?

This is gross on all levels.

I'd quite fancy doing the Sydney-Hobart yacht race, having been sailing a couple of times in a small dinghy in the Med in the 1970s. Would anyone like to contribute towards my yacht?

OP, check his life assurance covers acts of lunacy.

He's not going to do it, is he. What will happen to the money people have already donated?

This is so embarrassing. I feel for you OP.

The lack of funds should hopefully deflate him but could you try and give him a healthy dose of reality and send him on a mini version of what he wants to do so that he hopefully realised how daft this all is. For example, if he wants to climb Everest then tell him to do Ben Nevis or the Three Peak challenge.

Nobody needs this medical procedure.

This is already sort of a thing (for buses anyway).

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-30115137.amp

Have you had a conversation with him about how you feel, OP?

I would have sat my DP down and said in the bluntest terms 'I cannot believe you have set up a 'Go Fund Me' for this without even discussing it with me first. It is both embarrassing and ridiculous that you feel people should pay for you to go to the other side of the world to do a major event you have no experience of! What on earth were you thinking? Most people are struggling to pay their rent and bills and you believe begging for thousands of pounds to go do something as ridiculously extreme as (climbing Mount Everest) is acceptable. I feel utterly humiliated that you can't imagine what people think of you. On top of which you've no real idea of what is involved because you haven't done any training. It's so stupid that people will be laughing at you'.

I'm too old to have patience with this kind of stupidity.

It’s not that ultra marathon up in the highlands is it? At kings or something?

I think the OP loves him, she would probably love him even more if he cleared out the shed and got rid of his expensive hobby accessories, ( especially if he then re decorated the shed and turned it into a reading/ gin snug for her.)

Usually costs about £35,000 to do the event.

I’m cringing almost as hard as I did when the family who tried to ‘go fund me’ a home because they wanted to free range their kids and not send them to school so they could both work to buy the home.

Basically they wanted idiots generous people to fund one of them being a sahp and the other not really working to their full potential.

Absolutely mortified on your behalf op! I would die of embarrassment!

me too!!

Distasteful

And just in case, don’t forget to set up a go fund me for his funeral to give him the send off he deserves, maybe the shed stuff could be incorporated into the cortège, could be very moving.

How can he demean himself so much? I too would be embarrassed for him. Show him these replies.

I sympathise with you, op. But I think you will just have to wait it out as it is likely that he will lose interest.

I would never donate to a GFM for what is basically an adventure holiday. Why can't he save up for it, instead of begging strangers to fund his fun? Cheeky bastard.