Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

[ick26]

Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

Horrific. I’d be telling my husband to get this down quick sharp.

Hope he is well insured OP as these stupid middle aged men die all the time in these challenges.

is this fraudulent ?

I suggest he finds out quickly.

How on earth is it fraudulent? The amount of utter shit people suggest on this forum is staggering. You can fund raise for anything. He isn’t pretending it’s for anyone other than him and the activity he wants to do.

i hate those things. The first time someone I knew did this, I was baffled. It was just basically "pay for me to have an amazing holiday and give some money to charity too." Erm, no? Why not just give money to charity? And if it's just for the jolly itself that's even worse. Save up!

I'd be horribly embarrassed to OP. But you're not responsible for it. Just hope it blows over quickly.

I feel absolutely like this. Instant ick for all the reasons mentioned.

Oh God, op, I'd be reeling with the shame by association. What an entitled tit.

^ this. "Any money above minimum will go to charity" ive never heard of this sort of fund-raising???? Usually it's all money will go to charity ?

If it is Marathon des Sables, it is is impossible without acclimatisation too as it hits 50ºc+. Your husband is buggered if it's that. Actually, if he has no experience in any extreme sports / marathons, he's buggered. You don't just wake up and do these things.

Tell him to rein it in and do a Challenge Triathlon or something.

Bloody hell. Is this out of character for him? Clutching at straws but presumably he's not usually so self-absorbed, crass and socially unaware, otherwise you surely wouldn't have married him.

Not really sure what to suggest other than to loudly express your opinion and distance yourself from his antics EVERY time it comes up in conversation with family and friends. And continue to tell him he's embarrassing you and making himself look a complete twerp.

Ugh, this would give me an insane amount of ick probably lasting forever.

Go fund me is rarely used for honourable causes nowadays. I have a particular gripe with numpties going overseas without holiday insurance, getting into strife, and then needing serious funds to get them back to the UK - or/and pay for their medical attention abroad.

i would never donate to something like this unless my donation was going to charity…… ask him why he thinks people should donate/ what are they getting out of it ??…….he expects people to fund an extreme experience so he can walk around boasting afterwards that he did it.

He needs to fund something like this himself,

Has he done stuff like this before?

Most gofundme pleas are absolutely cringe-worthy. It’s full of people asking for non-necessities that they could slowly save up for themselves if they truly value the goal.

there are occasional gems. It’s an easy way to donate money if a local family has a house fire or an accident. The sort of thing they used to have jars at the tills for.

op, it would be perfectly reasonable for you to raise a fuss and get him to take it down. He has seen it isn’t bringing in any money. It is just going to alienate your friends and family.

This made me chuckle!

Surely he should be funding the trip himself, and then raising money for charity on his donation page?

Oh God, I'd be mortified too.

Does he have ADHD OP? The flitting around hobbies and being obsessed seems a common symptom - I see it in myself too, but thankfully I'm too lazy to decide to do an extreme challenge, and nowhere near delusional enough to think other people should support and fund my whims!

I think you're going to have to be blunt OP and tell him exactly how it looks!

You doing a marathon is a little different than what OPs DH is planning though?

You pay for your own travel to get there no?
Any money you raise goes to charity yes?

I once received a brochure which had all sorts of adventures in it..paragliding, cycling in exotic locations etc. I thought it was from a holiday company but it was from a charity..get yourself sponsored to have this amazing experience. I then went into work to be asked by a woman who didn't know me at all if I would sponsor her husband to cycle somewhere abroad for a charity.

Am I the only one who has been Googling GoFundMe Mount Everest climbs? I’ve found one dude who’s raised 3% of his target and another who has raised less than 1%. 👀🍿

Apparently Everest is now full of rubbish and even some bodies from all the previous climbers.

Does he realise that people can’t afford food and heating? There is a war in Ukraine and Gaza, who both need aid. Plus all the normal
aid required in the UK and internationally. And he is fund raising to doing something for fun that HE wants to do.

The entitlement is disgusting.

What do you mean “apparently?” This is well known. The bodies aren’t recent. There have been bodies left up there since people started climbing it. Also rubbish. It’s obviously much much worse with how busy Everest is now, but this isn’t news.

I think men, and yes, it is almost always men, who do these things are so selfish! Rowing across the Atlantic in a rubber boat, flying over the channel on a hang-glider, Walking up Everest backwards (yes, that one was real)! I think they think that everyone is going to think the are SO amazing, but I just think, "what a twat"! While their partner, who is the real here, is at home with the kids! Even if they are raising money, the money it costs them to do these things must be huge! SMH

Clearly not, or they would have responded to the bombardment of his begging page.
Sharing 5 times a day, how bloody embarrassing.

Groan! How awful! How absolutely crawl-under-a-chair embarrassing!

The only thing I would say is that if you have a shed full of equipment from previous failed crazes of his, then maybe this too will die the death especially if the funding is not forthcoming.

TBH I hate these self-centred Go Fund Me campaigns, especially from late teens with rich parents wanting to fund a gap year - go and work and save up! I have no problem with those where someone is doing something with a charitable aim. A young friend from a struggling family had his bike stolen and his friends set up a page to buy a new one - that got a donation from me.