Embarrassed by partners go fund me...

[ick26]

Dp has decided to do an extreme "event" on the other side of the world next year. It's one of those things that rich men with too much money are known to do and usually fail having to end up getting rescued 🙄

Dp has decided that he wants to do this, he's become obsessed and this is all he goes on about (for the last three weeks anyway) before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)

Only thing with this one is he has set up a go fund me (I knew nothing about it till I seen it on SM) for thousands of pounds to pay for the trip. Of course he's sitting at around 1% of the total he needs.

I honestly can't explain the physical reaction I've had to this I could put my head under my pillow and not come out again I'm so embarrassed that he's sharing this about 5 times a day to try and get people to donate!

I've tried telling him raising this amount of money would usually involve hosting events and getting sponsors from big companies but it falls on deaf ears. He's saying to people any money over what he needs will go to charity but realistically he's asking people to fund his midlife crisis and by the small number of donations everyone knows this.

To make matters worse this is an extreme event and he's fundraising before after starting training for a sport he's never actually tried before. I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to rant somewhere.

Not unreasonable at all. I would be extremely embarrassed by all of this too.

I'm kind of surprised no-one like Netflix has done a big exposé of "charity" fundraising events, especially sport or extreme event related. I suppose it feels a bit grinchlike to criticise them but the margins on these things are tiny unless the person who does it either raises an absolute tonne of money because they have rich and generous friends (like 5k for the London marathon or something) or covers their costs themselves (I know people who have done London marathon but given the charity the 800 the charity has to pay for the place).

But yeah, a lot of these things are people wanting to do X and get other people to pay for it, with a tiny amount going to charity.

I mean, even if he won't admit that it's a midlife crisis, STILL why the fuck should other people fund it?

People who start these go fund me pages for things like going on holiday really get on my nerves. He should fund it himself.

Don't worry OP, he's not the only one doing that. He'll give it up eventually.

What an entitled arsehole.

So many deserving causes in the world in this dick feels like he is owed a fancy trip for an event he most likely never do.

I'm sorry but when I read threads where a DH has been so selfish, arrogant and entitled I assume that this is how he leads his life; he can't possibly be a kind, generous person apart from this one huge, grabby , idiotic event.

Embarrassing. Is he even fit enough to do it?

I would be more worried about your partners mental health. Sometimes booking exciting things to look forward to are the only thing that can people going. Has he mentioned depression or suicide, anything like that?

Let's hope he does not take out a big loan or try to remortgage the house.

I think I’d have to put a statement on my social media about how embarrassed and disgusted I was to be married to such a grifter and try to distance myself from it all as much as possible.

Not surprised you are embarrassed, I would be mortified too and would tell dh exactly why.

Can you create your own a go fund me for 🍷supplies to help numb your embarrassment until he gives up on the idea. I'd support that cause 😂

I bet if he actually ends up doing it, he'll get lost and need to be rescued. I'm sure he'll create another go fund me along with a daily mail sad face to pay for his rescue and any hospital treatment if his insurance refuses to pay out.

In fairness to this man, we have not been told that it definitely is Everest. I hope it isn’t.

My first thought was whether this man has shared this go fund me at his workplace and then kept nagging his colleagues to donate. This used to annoy me so much. It’s one thing to keep harping on at your friends about it (they may choose to block you on FB if they wish) but it really is not okay to do this at work. During marathon training season, I’d get about five requests (and then follow up requests).

In the same way that people hate chuggers knocking on their front doors, they also hate workplace begging. People have to live somewhere and they have to work somewhere (and be pleasant to their colleagues). If he is being really aggressive about it, this is going to cause problems at work.

I think given he's got 1% of what he needs, he stands fuck all chance of actually raising the full amount. So I don't think I'd be that worried overall. Just embarrassed.

"before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)"

I'd be wandering round the house muttering "all the gear and no idea" loud enough to be heard, whilst visibly rolling my eyes. I feel for you, OP.

As to your shedful of nearly-new equipment, I'd be selling the lot of it and spending it on myself / the family / charity donations - anything except his deluded crowdfunder.

As people continue to not donate, surely the penny will drop?

Tell him to sell all his discarded sporting equipment to help fund his project. Even if this if unlikely to touch the sides, he will be channeling his energy into having a clear out. And it might force him to reflect on his short lived choices of hobby.

Sorry @ick26, this has made me laugh out loud.

Some people are shameless 😂

Haven’t read all the replies, but just in case it hasn’t been mentioned, you could suggest he rents Die Hard again, instead.

"before that it was smaller cheaper sports he would do once or twice buy all the kit then never mention it again. (our shed has bikes, sports rackets, golf clubs, air rifle, model cars etc you get the drift)"

Seriously, Sunflower? This behaviour is so, so common, it's got its own catchphrase - "all the gear and no idea". Do you always think people being knobs are secretly suicidal?

If it's Everest people train for years for that, building it up over time. I worked with a guy who had been climbing since his teens and climbed a lot travelling in his 20s building up to it. He then spent years saving and training to go and it was part of a group he was in, you need to be going with not only the guides but other experienced people to have a chance of getting to any height (and they didn't make it to the summit)

I'm just making assumptions of course, but if it is that and he isn't well trained and experienced enough it's a terrible idea and waste of money.

Urgh. Glorified begging.

Tell him to sell all the unused crap he's wasted family money on with his previous passing fads. Any idea how much he has poured down the drain with collecting the clutter?

It sounds like he has a grasshopper approach and something more interesting will be along soon.

Meanwhile, what is he putting in place to support you and share the load while he is off shirking his duties as husband and father?

Or will you be doing all of it?

Won’t he quickly realise once the money doesn’t come flooding in and drop the idea?

Due to all the already abandoned “hobbies”, I’d presume he has ADHD and this is just another dopamine chase.
The hit will wear off way before he gets anywhere near to the actual event taking place, and he’s going to look like an even worse twat than he does now. People will want their donations back.

Does he have any family or close friends that he would listen to more than you?

A close male friend telling him he's embarrassing himself may hit home more.