@cardibach Ouch…sympathies! I had this awful moment on an Education conference once.
It was the third/final day, the previous two nights I’d been kept awake by a couple having sex for HOURS in the room above, til after 3. She was moaning and screaming like a banshee and they seemed to be intent on breaking every surface. They were bonking loudly all over the bed, on the desk, up against the wall, the windowsill, the shower. I actually didn’t realise it was possible for sex to go on like that…they’d only stop for what seemed like minutes at a time only to start up again. I wondered if there was more than one couple but he was distinctive vocally. To make it worse she sounded horribly young and was saying things like “hurt me” “hurt me harder” and he was jackhammering away and then slamming her down on the desk etc.
Anyway, I’d made friends with a very loud, very camp, no filter sort of guy. When I walked in after the second night of being kept up til after 3, he said “oh no not again, you look EXHAUSTED DOLL, were the pornstars at it again?! Dirty buggers! Has she not got cystitis yet?!”
Then in all seriousness we spoke about mentioning it to the hotel, I started saying I was concerned about her age etc and felt uneasy. He said Premier Inn offer a good night’s sleep guaranteed and joked I might get my money back.
Then he goes, “Wait a minute, Sarah…aren’t you in the Premier Inn as well? Have you not heard the pornstars? You might get your money back too!” Then relayed the whole story but louder, camper, more animated and sweary to most of our small group…including the cystitis comment. Sarah was very quiet and mousy, about 22 had just started teaching and she was attending with her Dad, Graham, who was a retired headmaster in his 60s that she was very codependent with, “just here to support Sarah as it’s my old school she’s starting at - keeping it in the family!” She looked really embarrassed and shy and went quiet and sort of shut down like she didn’t want to be involved. She seemed a bit innocent and it was a vulgar conversation so I felt sorry for her.
I said, “of course, Tommy, she doesn’t want to have this sort of chat around her Dad for goodness sake shut up!” Then she pipes up, “Dad? He’s not my Dad, he’s my HUSBAND”. Same last name…we’d just assumed.
To avoid the awkwardness, Tommy goes, “oops, erm..well anyway let’s try and get you your money back! What room are you in Outing? Sarah if you’re nearby you can say you hear it too and back each other up.”
I say 226.
Sarah “can’t remember, but we slept fine anyway.”
Graham has been engrossed in a chat with another older man on his other side and is oblivious.
Tommy: “Oi, Graham, we might be able to get you a refund at Premier Inn. What’s your room number?!
Graham: “Erm 326 isn’t it Sarah, why?”
She was genuinely upset, I was genuinely horrified/mortified/dying inside, Tommy was about 5 minutes behind the rest of the group in figuring it out and most of the rest of the group were a mix of disgusted, nauseated and catatonic. We all stared at the floor for ages until the seminar began with the famous words, “You’re all quiet this morning? Didn’t get much sleep?”
I had to get in the bloody lift with them that night…in silence. I pressed 2. She pressed 3 and gave me a venemous look. Horribly awkward moment.
No sex noises that night though!