How do I tell my neighbour I can hear her?

[BoomBoomBoomLemmeHearYouSayWayOh]

We moved in semi-recently and I can hear my neighbour having sex.

First time I thought it was a one off (maybe his birthday, 😂) as I didn't hear anything the first few months.

But now 2 or 3 times a week I can hear her (only her not him) as if she's in my hallway!
It's not a creaky bed or anything that can't be helped, it's loud, dramatic moans and 'yes, yes' type stuff

I have preteen/young teen kids who can clearly hear her too and it's really starting to piss me off when she starts.

DH and I manage to have sex without the whole house knowing. Never mind the neighbours.

I don't know her that well so I don't know whether to

A) bang on the wall (which I did last time but it was only my fist and I don't think she could hear it over her own squeals, so next time I'll use a shoe)

B) Wait till I see her and say something, which I have planned to do but just not seen her and I feel knocking on her door is way too intrusive. And WTF would I say.

C) put a note through the door. But again WTF do I write?

I feel almost rude asking her to keep it down in her own home but it's embarrassing sat in bed reading, listening to her howling.

A few nights ago DS was sat in bed with me and she started and he was so embarrassed.

I think I would say that to her when you catch her for a little chat. “Isn’t it so strange that downstairs the noise doesn’t seem to carry but upstairs if a pin drops in your house I can hear it in mine!”

I couldn’t cope being direct about sex stuff though!

@MaMisled
I feel your pain! I regularly hear " Oh God,oh God, please, please, YES YES YES!!!" from the young woman next door and I think come on, no ones THAT good! I got up last night to investigate my old cat yowling loudly in distress. Nope. It was the porn star wannabe next door.

😁😁😁

thats too funny... poor thing

I'd send DD round to let them know

Anonymous and say "We can hear you several houses away..." 😁

When they finish shout through the wall Bravo! Encore ! Encore! 🤣🤣🤣 hopefully they'll get the message

“Hi neighbour, no easy way to say this and to avoid embarrassment in person for either of us, I thought I’d best send a note. Since moving in we’ve realised the walls are quite thin, we don’t hear most day to day noise but several times, for the past few weeks the kids and I have very clearly been able to hear you having sex and it’s quite awkward for us all, especially my preteen son. Sorry to ask, but could you keep the noise down? And no hard feelings, I’ll never mention it again! Best wishes, Jane x”

I put a note through my neighbours door when they started waking dd up.
Didn't hear( or see her) for months.

I like this, thanks.

Are you good at acting?

Knock on the door and ask if anyone can join her prayer meetings or is it just invited people as your Aunt Mavis has recently moved to the area and is looking for fellowship…

When she looks confused say…

”Oh erm…I can hear people crying out to God and sort of pleading and then rejoicing several times a week and I just thought it must be some sort ladies prayer group…sorry, you must think I’m crazy! I thought I heard it last night actually…No? Oh dear…maybe the noise is coming from the other side, I’ll try them…it’s SO LOUD though, it’s amazing that you can’t hear it too! It’s like some sort of miracles are happening!”

Shout across the house (but next to their wall so that they can hear) ‘Dave, she’s started again. Try and distract the kids so they don’t hear again’.

I feel your pain. As a live in Assistant House Mistress at a (very) minor boarding school, it was brought to my attention that girls in certain rooms could hear the House Mistress and her husband having sex. I had to tell her…

When my neighbour cums,
She’s really rather loud.
I’m sure it makes her partner
exceptionally proud.
But we’re not very sure
if she’s aware next door
the teens are unimpressed
and have a small request:
”KEEP IT DOWN A BIT LUV!”

🤣

Sent ndn's older teen ds link via Spotify to Lionel Ritchie's All Night Long... And asked him face to face if he thought he was a rabbit....
He got his own place that week end!.

If not Barry White what about Serge Gainsbourg and that "Je t'aime" song?

Really?

I’d be fucking mortified if I thought that children could hear me having sex! Much more so than if it were just adults. I think the main point is, that while it’s annoying to the OP it’s making her children feel uncomfortable so it absolutely is important to note that part.

I hear my neighbours at times. And l expect sometimes they hear me.

If you are not in a detached house in the middle of an orchard, l think you have to expect to hear neighbours doing things. And that possibly includes having sex. Having sex is what (a lot of) people regularly do. So unless you have a headboard banging on the wall at 3:00am each night, l think it’s a case of live and let live.

l don’t know how old your pre-teen kids are, but don’t imagine teen kids are that naive.

😂

Oh dear God. That must have been mortifying - for you both!

It’s not though, it can come off as very entitled to use the kids as a reason they should stop doing something in their own home.

If you heard it you wouldn't think that.

It's very 'only fans' type stuff. Very performative.

It was for me. She seemed to totally ignore the whole situation as though I hadn’t said what I just said…

She wants to ask them to keep the noise down, not try to enforce a sex ban.

If your neighbours children could hear you having sex and you were aware it made them feel uncomfortable, you’d be ok with that because “it’s your house and you can do what you want”?

I think it's easier to bang on the wall than write a note.

Me too.