When your house is just too too tasteful

[Ginmonkeyagain]

What the hell is going on here? This is an absolute horror show of beige and bland tastefulness.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143960609#/?channel=RES_LET

I’m about to sound total urbanite here. Wood lice? Don’t even really know what that is or how it’s problematic. Is house wood not treated or sprayed or something. …oh get me

It reminds me of a cave. Think the family that live there are called Flintstone.

All those concrete coloured/textured walls look unfinished.

You don't know what a woodlouse is?

I'm not sure the woodpile is treated wood. I'd think it unlikely.

never heard of woodlice.Just assumed domestic firewood or logs were treated , sprayed in someway so no beasties.

We have woodlice in London! Go lift up a log in the park or something.

I know that I’m next to a heath! I just thought house wood was treated etc I get there are beasties in park etc under wood I didn’t know it was a domestic issue for log stove or indoor log piles

All those photos look as if they’ve got a sepia tint. I imagine it looks a lot better in its true colours.

I quite like it.

Also mouldy

It looks like it belongs to an artist or old hippy, I like it generally but would add a bit more colour

A hippy would give it more character and colour, surely?

Overall I love it but it does need some color to make it more homey.

What's picture 11 about?

Woodlice are not dangerous, they are just part of nature's recycling team. They don't infest houses or bite people. They gently nibble dead wood. A woodpile is their normal environment. They are a very ancient little creature.

They do fit in well with the colour scheme and aesthetic.

I quite like the calm of this house, but essentially it is very unreal. An insta house.

It’s the walls! I think it would be ok if the walls were painted with some colour, any colour just add colour quick!

Reminds me of that line from You’ve Got Mail - depressing like a Baby Gap.

the walls behind the logs will be mouldy! Even dried out logs have moisture in them.

Bland as fuck, but that's not the worst thing about it.

There's a serious risk of bumping into Piers Morgan if you live there. I've seen him twice in the village pub, and I believe he has a house there.

(In the interests of transparency, there are two other pubs in the village, but neither are anywhere near as nice, although one of them does an excellent Sunday roast.)

With a bit of colour it would
Be lovely

Nicer than where I live now

Oddly, the last slide, with the photo of the extension/conservatory all lit up, seems to suggest a positively multi-coloured, 90s kitchen complete with black leather sofa. Is that from before, maybe??

I like it but it could do with some colour in the accessorising. Suppose it would appeal to the rental market due to its neutral tones and the new tenants can add the colour with their own belongings.

This isn't staged... it's photoshopped! And not even particularly well!

I actually really like the walls, I have just looked up some paint to do something similar (Rustoleum chalky wash paint) but the washed-out colours of the shoes/fabrics etc. looks really odd, it doesn't look like a real house. I think it would be a lovely place with some colour and personality which it would have when someone moved their stuff in (unless they only own brown things like this family)

To the PP above, I've also heard of woodlice being called roly polies and chiggy pigs in case they ring a bell (in the US I think). Not sure how you've never seen any before unless you've only ever lived in high rises, I get them every week and I don't even have any firewood under the stairs

All I would be able to think about is the number of spiders that are definitely living in that pile of wood under the stairs!

I can appreciate that someone has put an awful lot of work and money into obtaining that "aesthetic", but no, it's not to my taste.

And what's with all the beige and brown fabrics hanging everywhere? Or tastefully tossed across beds? They look like manky old dog bedding!