Would you leave your almost 18 year old for ten days to go on holiday?

[MissMillyMollyMandyy]

He's not remotely interested in coming and we do plenty with him anyway so we are thinking that this year we will go away for what will be ten days. Holiday on the Caribbean

First time I've ever left him for any length of time - there was a few days last year when we went to Portugal - I know, I know! But this isn't a deliberate thing, just how it's worked out

He's sensible on the whole. He will be 3 weeks off his 18th when we go away. However he is a very typical teen and will he take the opportunity to have a little skive off college and his part time job? Perhaps. Can't say for sure he won't. But overall, he's relatively sensible

I'd have my best friend popping in every day to ensure the cat has been fed properly and that he's not left every door unlocked and his 25 year sister is also local and will pop in and check he's ok regularly

Not quite sure why I feel anxious. It's not an all consuming anxiety and it's probably peri menopause driven tbh but I just want to feel relaxed about leaving him

So, would you trot off without a concern? Or would you be wanting to make sure all bases were covered so you could relax a bit?

They're 18

@Newchapterbeckons looking closely at the dates we will book, he will be 9 days off his 18th. With his sister and a close family friend visiting daily

And yes. I can 'legally' leave him. He's not 11

@saraclara yeah. I will feel a lot better knowing his sister and our friend are popping in each day. Not for hours, not to pat his head, just to be there if he needs anything

These people are family, he won't find it weird at all

@MissMillyMollyMandyy you know your boy, the cat might have a dirty plate and he might survive on crisps and sandwiches, or pull a sickie but he’s got lots of support nearby to rely on and people checking in. 🙂

@MissMillyMollyMandyy - your username brought back memories of my childhood 🙂

I think it's fine to leave him as long as his sister is nearby and popping in to see him. Go and have a wonderful holiday OP ☺️

@Tillycx it's 9 days off his 18th. Nothing will change on that timescale I doubt

Why are you worried then? Something seems to be bothering you.

@TheOnlyAletheia thanks! And yes. I absolutely loved MMM! And Mrs Pepperpot! And the family from one end street!

Doesn't seem like op is worried. They're just asking for opinions

Me too

@Newchapterbeckons hard to say! I can't articulate it very well. All I know is it's really important to me that he's happy, that I've put support in place and that I've got everything covered as far as I can. And of course I'll be in touch with him myself every day

I'm probably a control freak!

Yes. If I trusted he wouldn't trash my house. And if there was someone not too far away (grandparent/aunt etc) who could be called on in an emergency.

I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’d expect an average, NT 18 year old to be able to fend for themselves for 10 days, especially with support from his sister.

It’s your family home I’d be more concerned about, just in case 5 friends coming over snowballs into 50. If you implicitly trust him not to get cocky then go, but I think I’d be too anxious about what I would be coming home too!

@K0OLA1D yes it's good to get feedback and chat it over. I'm keen to do the right thing by him and so I can feel relaxed as far as possible

I have raised my dc by using small stepping stones. Gradually exposing dc to increasing levels of independence. I wouldn’t go from nothing to 10 days in the Caribbean.

Yes 100%. I left my 17 and 14yr old alone for 5 days when I went to stay with family 250 miles away. They begged to stay and they are 100% not the partying type. They were absolutely fine and the house was nice and tidy when I got back. DS is at Uni now and DD is 16 next month and I’m going to start leaving her for a night when I’m away with work. Her dad is 1 mile away, I’ve got a friend same distance and another friend 2 mins walk. She will just be studying no doubt and will leave the dog with her (friend and dog Walker will sort the dog)

I was 17 when I went off to University in the days before mobile phones - gasp!

You have parental responsibility until their 18th birthday, the law is very grey up until this age on such matters so it most likely would not be an issue if you had taken whatever might be considered reasonable steps to ensure their safety. Sure any loving parent would whatever their age but why bother risking getting into a legal issue for the sake of just 3 weeks. Also with my own children I would be there for them whatever their age just like I would be for the rest of my family but the ‘responsibility’ went to 18 in my eyes, from then on it’s their life to live, of course with ongoing advice and support from me as needed

I left my almost 18 yo home with his older sister last year.
Not sure id have left him alone though.
That said - he could be living on his own so I think it's perfectly acceptable.

Depends on the child. We left our nearly 17 year old last year for 2 weeks, but he wasn't into parties then and my DM lives locally, so checked on him regularly. He missed us though, so was a bit more appreciative of us when we got back.

Yes, I would. And the DC would feed the cat and go to college, and cook, and clean the house for my return.

I was a teen that was ‘left’ and hated it. Maybe it’s my experience. I felt my parents were shit and negligent. I always ran out of food after a few days, felt lonely. It was horrible being on my own at night especially.

For those people saying no, when would you leave them? 18, 25, when they get married? I am astounded how many parents infantalise their teenagers nowadays. Just leave him op, it will do him good. I would worry about the cat though so make him message you every day when cat has been fed.

When they are ready.